Court Attire

In Malaysia, our law profession regulates itself by imposing rules and regulations.

One of them is court attire. Our Legal Profession (Ethics and Etiquette) Rules provides that all lawyers who are appearing in court be dressed in black and white (although some dark colours are allowed).

Although some laymen will mistake us for waiters or salesmen, this rule must be strictly complied. We can’t wear anything fancy in court as well. Any Doraemon or Simpson characters on our clothes will end with us being thrown out of court.

As for hairstyle, it seems that the rules are pretty relaxed. I’ve seen blonde lawyers appearing in court. I’ve also seen male lawyers with long hair appearing in court.

But as for earrings, I’ve not come across any rules prohibiting it.
Despite attending court almost everyday, I have not removed my earlobe piercing till date. I had it since year 1999.


This picture was taken 2 years ago.

Few weeks ago..

I appeared before a judge.

It was done in chambers (in his room) with another fellow opponent.
I was staring into blank space while my opponent was submitting his case..then suddenly..

“ARE YOU WEARING AN EARRING? PLEASE TAKE IT OUT!”, screamed the SAR.

He almost stood up in anger.

I immediately grabbed my ear, with my eyes opened wide with shock.

I said…

“NO, I’m not wearing any”.

It seems that the hole on my ear looked like an earring. Thank GOD I
removed it before going into court!

Dilemma

Real life situation told by my friend.

A mother of 2 came to see my friend to seek advice. The worst had happened to her family. Her son has been sexually abusing her daughter. Her husband, also the father of the children, refused to turn the boy to the police as he is the only son and he doesnt want to lose his only son.

What made it worst is that, the son is only 15 years and the daughter is only 8 years old.

The parents were afraid to send the girl for a medical checkup because under S27 of Childs Act 2001, a medical officer or medical practitioner has a duty to inform a protector (e.g. Department of Social Welfare) if he believes that the child has been sexually abused. S27 and its subsections are as follow:
Duty of medical officer or medical practitioner
27. (1)If a medical officer or a registered medical practitioner believes on reasonable grounds that a child he is examining or treating is physically or emotionally injured as a result of being ill-treated,neglected,abandoned or exposed,or is sexually abused, he shall immediately inform a Protector.
(2)Any medical officer or registered medical practitioner who fails to comply with subsection (1)commits an offence and shall on conviction be liable to a fine not exceeding five thousand ringgit or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years or to both.
(3)If the registered medical practitioner referred to in subsection (1)is a medical officer,he may take the child referred to in that subsection into temporary custody until such time as the temporary custody of the child is assumed by a Protector or police officer.

KL Magistrate Court..you might end up here if you decide to commit a crime in KL.
What would you do if you are in that family’s situation?
Turning the son in would seem like everybody’s answer. He’s only 15 hence by right he should be detained in a centre which is separated from the adult criminals. Unfortunately, this doesnt happen all the time.
I quote a senior counsel, “The only sickness that prison can cure is heterosexuality”. A young boy like him would no doubt serve as a sex slave for a building full of men. Retribution? No no, the boy should burn in hell not sodomized on Earth.

Hang Tou Pat Ming..

Yesterday, while performing my legal aid duty @ Criminal Magistrate Court, we had this slightly built tall Chinese guy. My partner for the day, Sue Yin interviewed him in the lockup.

Since she knows how to speak Chinese as well, I left her alone to interview the client. Suddenly, she called for me.

Sue Yin: I don’t understand what is he saying.
Me: What are you charged for?
Guy: Hang tou pat Ming.. (I think he said that in Chinese)
Me: What is that???
He nodded his head… and said..
Guy: Mmm..i went to the stairs and took off my pants…
Me&Sue Yin: OOOOHHH…FLASHER!!!

Poor guy was too embarrassed to explain it to Sue Yin.

He seems like a normal person. But what he did was sick. Apparently, according to the brief facts, he stripped naked and climbed a staircase at an apartment. He flashed at a lady who was cooking @ her kitchen. She immediately screamed out loud.
The husband of the lady immediately chased after him and so did the apartment residents. He was caught in no time.

Under S294(a) of the Malaysian Penal Code, the imprisonment sentence may extend to 3 months. For that offence, Mr. Flasher was sentenced to 1 month imprisonment.

I almost laughed out loud when the brief facts were read out. The lawyer next to me was laughing as well. So did the interpreter who was reading the charge out loud. LOL

One of my colleagues told us of one her previous experience. It was couple of years ago, she was walking alone around Taylor’s College in PJ. Suddenly, a man in a blue Wira (Malaysian Car) stopped next to her.. The driver stopped and said to colleague, “Mau tengok? (you want to see?).

Colleague: NoOOOOOO
Driver: Mau Tengok?? (you want to see??)
Colleague: NO!

The Indian driver didn’t care. He took off his pants and started flashing off his thing. Apparently this guy is infamous for flashing around that college area. His Blue Wira used to lurk there to pray on girls. I wonder if he’s still there. Girls, please feel free to smash his car or stomp his balls whenever he flashes again.

Unusual Crimes – All in 7 Days

Dirty ‘Darth Vader’ stuns women
BY R.S.N. MURALI
SEREMBAN: While the widely-hyped movie Star Wars runs in cinemas all over the world, the dark force of Darth Vader struck in Bandar Baru Nilai.
Yesterday, women factory workers in two industrial areas were appalled and screamed when a man in full Darth Vader costume flashed them.
A 33-year-old factory supervisor who identified herself as “Priscilla” said the man got out of his tinted two-door car, strutted about menacingly in his Darth Vader suit before opening it and revealing himself to 15 women workers standing at a bus stop at about 7am.
“At first, I thought he was a die-hard Star Wars fan trying to impress us with his costume. But we were shocked when he showed us his private-parts,” she said.
The women were waiting for buses to take them home after their night shift.
“We were all exhausted after a long day at work and did not see the man’s face as he was wearing a dark mask,” she said.
When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off towards the North-South Expressway.
“Next time it will not be “Revenge of the Sith” but revenge on a sick man if we catch him doing his act again,” she added.
The flasher was reported to have displayed himself to another group of workers at a nearby factory.
When contacted, Acting OCPD Supt Mohd Taib Latif said the police need more information such as the flasher’s car registration number to track him down.

Man on Web porn charge
KUALA LUMPUR: A cellphone salesman was charged in a magistrate’s court yesterday with having a laptop containing a movie taken from a pornographic website.
Lim Puay Huat, who claimed trial, is the first person to be prosecuted in Malaysia for an offence related to a pornographic website.
The 21-year-old from Jalan Air Panas Baru, Setapak, was charged under the Film Censorship Act.
He allegedly had in his possession a laptop containing the pornographic movie in 3GP (video for mobile phones) and RM (Real Media video) file formats.
He was said to have committed the offence at The Cellphone sales counter in front of a shoe shop at No. G20, Pertama Complex in Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman here at 5.55pm on Tuesday.
If found guilty, he can be fined up to RM50,000 and jailed up to five years under Section 5(1)(a) of the Act.
Prosecuting officer Chief Inspector Vasu Appu asked the court to impose a RM10,000 bail on Lim in view of the gravity of the offence.
“This is clearly reflected in the serious attention given by the Government to curb the offence.
“It has become very unhealthy now that even children can have access to pornographic material,” he said.
He then pointed out to the court a recent news article splashed prominently in The Star about the existence of 1.5 million pornographic websites that could be easily accessed.
He said that in the article Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said the authorities were mulling over the possibility of introducing a censorship mechanism to block access to such sites by surfers.
Lim, who pleaded for a lower bail, was not represented.
Magistrate Mohd Khairi Haron set a RM8,000 bail on Lim.
He set June 29 for mention.
—————————-
O_O
/me formats C:\

From Sabah with misery

This week at KL Legal Aid Centre….
An old man came in to see me. He spoke nothing else but broken melay and mandrin.
“Eh uncle, you are from Sabah ar?” I asked when i saw his I.C. no and address
“Ya”
“I am from Sarawak ler, uncle.”
“Wah! good! good1”
(note: Sabah and Sarawak are two states of the Federation of Malaysia located on the Island of Borneo)
“So, uncle how can i help you?”
“My farm in Sabah is flooded because of the illegal landfilling”
“oooh…uncle, we don’t provide legal aid for tortious matter ler”
“Please help lar, young man.”
That uncle did pass the mean test because he is seriously poor. All he has in his possession is a lousy land worth probably very little now because of the landfilling. He came all the way over here to seek help. Before this he tried all sort of avenue, including making complaint to the government department, and the newspaper agency. He even paid a visti to the ex Sabah Cheif Minister, Chung Kah Kiat but they were all useless.
“Uncle, why don’t you complain to MCA?”
“I got ar. The Sabah MCA cannot help me also.”
“How come?”
“Because everytime i go see them, they said that they had no time! They are busy playing mahjong!”
“….”
Anyhow, the KL Legal Aid Centre couldn’t help that uncle. However, that uncle wanted to see Michael Cheung, the cheif of MCA Complaint Bureau. Hence, i gave him the direction and sent him off to Putra LRT. That is the least i could do for that uncle.
Good luck, uncle!

Bar Council Ethics Dinner

Last week, Frank and I attended the Bar Council Ethics Dinner right after our compulsory Ethics Lecture.

It was held @ the Royal Selangor Club, one of the most prestigious clubs in Malaysia. It was attended by 92 other chambering students plus some senior members of the Bar.

Our guest speaker, Mr. S1varasa, the Vice President of KeAD1Lan (opposition political party of Malaysia) gave a great speech which serves to advise soon-to-be lawyers.

We were fortunate to be seated next to him. We gave us great advice and loads of his political views. And of course, since legal ethics were still fresh on our minds, we applied them in the dinner.

Simple rules like,
1. Dont leave the table until the most senior person does.
2. Greet seniors
3. Dont start eating until the most senior person does.
were complied strictly.

However…

Mr. Siva: Do you know that the government has tried to silence us by controlling the media??
Cindy: uh uh yes yes..
Me: yayayaya
Mr. Siva: blablablabla
Cindy: uh uh yes yes..
Cindy then turns to me and said,
I need to go to the toilet…helpp mee…can he please shut up…
Me: LOL!!!!

Here are some pictures from that night..



Elaine: wow your chicken looks nice!! but my fish is nicer..yumyum..

Me: (takes a bite) mmmmmmm.. HOU HOU MEIII (Chinese for delicious) Mine’s better!!
Elaine: oh really??
Me: yes!! btw..you wanna swap dishes? mine’s “great”
Elaine: (shows middle finger)

Me: Wah…this thing is damn kencing manis (diabetic) man.. damn sweet!! I like..


Cindy: May it please my Lord, pls shut up.. I need to go to the toilet…
Me: LOL!!


Frank with his killer pose. (R) Der Lin: mmmm frank..so handsome..

I HAVE A PARANG IN MY CAR!

As you all already know, xes is doing dock brief for his legal aid duty and i have been assigned to Legal Aid Clinic. My duty is to ascertain whether or not the client is qualify for free legal service and to give legal advise. I had met quite a few interesting clients although i had only done this twice.

Case 1
A man walked in with his wife and son. The man cried in the center because he did not have to raise enough money for the bail.
” Please help me! I only have RM1000. I don’t have enough money for my bail. Can you go to the court now and ask the judge for discount ar…”
“Mr, the least the judge is gonna give is RM2000 lar.”
“NO!!!! Help me plz!!!”
“….”
“Can the Bar Council lend me RM1000 ar? I promise that i will pay back.”
“Cannot lar”
“Plz lar…look at my son, so young…i really don’t want to go jail lar. I am innocent lar.”

Too bad, the Bar Council don’t have the policy of lending money to client. I told him to go back and try to raise any RM1000. In the meantime, i will get the dock brief people to mitigate for a lower bail on his behalf. Sadly, i was told last friday that that man went to jail anyway.

Case 2
A chinese man walked into the clinic, asking for legal aid.
“Mr, how can i help you?” i asked.
“I HAVE A PARANG (machete) BEHIND MY CAR!” he said loudly.
WTF! I almost dropped my pen when i heard that.

Case 3
A businessman walked into the clinic.
“Mr, how can i help you?”
“hahahahhaha….hahahhahahaha.”
Oh no!!! Nut case!
“eeer…Mr?”
“It’s my indon worker lar. He went missing for 2 weeks. We made a police report. You know what?”
“what?”
“The police was looking high and low for him and they cannot find him because he was in the lockup!….hahahahahhahaha.”
“OH MY GOd…hahahahhahaha…”
“So…hahahhaha…so…hahahhaha, i think Bar Council should do something about this lar…hahahhaha”
“Ok..hehe”
“But i want you guys to know that he is no longer my employee now. His contract had been terminated upon him been caught for a criminal offence.”
“oooh, he is a legal lar”
“Ya, he has permit to work for us. BTW, he is in Sungai Buloh Prison now…hahahahhahaha…and the damn police cannot find him!…hahahahhaha.”
“Mr, you are really kind lar. You help your ex employee although he went missing for 2 weeks for no reason.”
“No lar. This the right thing to do, for the sake of humanities.”
What a noble employer. I RESPECT YOU, MR. C.

Picture of the day

WHOA!!! A BOWLING BALL!!!

Ethic Lecture

Today, i attened Legal Ethic lectures with xes at the Bar Council. When i was attending our 2nd lecture of the day, i received a phone call from the Court’s chambering division. I was asked to see the Chief Clerk in charge of Chambering matter ASAP. Hence, i decided to sneak out for 10 mins since the court was just next to the Bar Council Building. I quitely walked out from the side door. I ran to the lift and pressed the button, suddenly…
“Where are you going!”
Shit, Ms. I, one of the Bar Council Staff in charge of the Ethic lecture.
Me: ummmm….(quick Frank,lie!).
Ms. I: Where are you going?
Me: I have to step over to see Mr. M for 10 mins! It’s urgent!
(Shit, why did i tell the truth. *slap forehead* I guess, the ethic lecture was working on me already).
Ms. I: No, you cannot AND you are not allow to go in the lecture theatre until the next lecture start.
Me: Only for 10 mins…can lar. It’s urgent…plz plz..plz
Ms. I: No! Also, you have to come back next month to attend this particular lecture again.
Me: Nooooooooooo….wait, the lecture is not ending in another 10 mins time. Let me in lar…i promise i will be a goodboy.
Ms. I: No!
Shit, Lady Luck was definately not on my side today.
Anyway, here is the latest event happening around town this week :-
Tek-Nicianz Presents Expression Sessions’02 @ Barcode – 14/05/05 from 12AM there to catch the anticipated 4-decks, 2- mixers & EFX Set.
1am – 3am trance
3am – 4am 4 decks funky techno
4am – 6am banging hard trance
Featuring

Kughen

Suresh Nelson

Romel Johan
&
WllyTHkd
Tickets are priced at RM30 + 1 Drinks
See You There!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Say hi to xes or me if you happen to spot us there =P
P.P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAN SAN aka Galferari

Legal Aid

Just like any other countries, Malaysia’s legal system does provide legal aid services. Other than lying on our free time, lawyers do give pro-bono advice and also represent clients at court for free.

Legal aid ranges from prison visits to syariah law advice. The legal aid centre in Kuala Lumpur is mainly fueled by Chambering Students as chambering students have to perform legal aid services for couple of times before being called to the Bar.


Bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad – currently houses the Malaysian Courts.

I was fortunate enough to be picked for the Dock Brief program, a program where we get to represent unrepresented criminals in criminal courts. Some criminals could not afford lawyers hence they have no where to turn to and no idea what to do in Court. Hence with the legal aid program, they will be guided accordingly before they go to hell for their sins.

Today was my first training day. It was fun running around courts interviewing criminals and meeting all sorts of people. I was given the opportunity to interview 2 criminals, one of them charged pimping and another with drug abuse.

Seeing those bald headed men in the cell makes you feel pity for them despite the fact they have committed crimes that you wish you could personally punish them. Those unfortunate ones who didn’t get bailed would have to stay in the prison until their next hearing date. I heard there was a case where the mother of an accused did not want the son the plead guilty but does not have the money to bail him. She claimed that her son is innocent and doesn’t want a criminal record to be entered in her son’s name. However, the accused has been in jail since last year. If he had pleaded guilty on day one. He would be out by today or in few weeks time. Unfortunately, he pleaded not guilty and had to stay in jail till his next hearing.

I had an interesting moment with one of the people that I interviewed,
“Hi, I’m Foong. I’m from the legal aid centre. Are you pleading guilty? If so, do you want you to represent you in court for free?”

Accused: I’ll plead guilty if you call my wife that I’m here.

Since I was told that I’m not supposed to do that, I turned the accused’s request down. In a sad tone, he requested us to proceed with the interview. The whole purpose of the interview is to extract information which will mitigate his sentence. It seems that the accused was a learned person who was unfortunate to be caught with drugs.

But of course, lawyers are humans too. Seeing all those unfortunate souls makes you feel pity for them. After we finish interviewing all the criminals, we chilled while waiting for the judge to come. I felt bad for rejecting his request hence I offered to call his wife for him. His wife doesn’t know that he’s changing prisons hence it is essential to inform her (but I’m sure she will be informed by prison officers after the sentencing). I did inform his wife with a PUBLIC PHONE. Rule No. 1 never give your contact to any criminals or their family members.

He got a 7 months sentence for drug possession.

One of the most important mitigating factors is his previous convictions. If he is a first time offender, he may get away with a light sentence or even a bond of good behavior or binding over i.e. no imprisonment. However, sometimes the accused would lie about their previous offences. I caught one trying to lie..

Me: Do you have previous offences? Which also includes other offences than you are now charged?
Accused: (Looks sideway) No.
Me: Don’t lie to me, there’s no point lying to me cause the prosecuting officer has a list of your previous offences.
Accused: (nods his head) Yes… I was under remand once few years back.. (and went on..)

Not only lawyers lie you see.

KL Annual B4r D1nner

My firm booked a table for us Chambies and Legal Assistants for the KL Annual B4r D1nner yesterday. It was held in Sherat0n Imperial Ballroom with about 500 people. And yes, 500 lawyers. Imagine a bomb went off and we would not have any one in the courts on Monday.

Despite the mediocre food, the stand up comedy was good. Jokes poking politicians and races cracked everyone up. They even sang a song about Viagra!