eeer…No title

I went to the Court today…yaaaa..that’s what i do almost every morning.
I bumped into Ms. Siew Pau. She was walking toward me…
“Siew Pau”, i called out to her
She jumped..well, just a little bit la.
And i heard her saying to her friend to Cantonese (Yes, Siew Pau. I heard that =P)
“Oh My God, this is the first time i see Frank in person”
But, she don’t have that” Frank so leng chai, he is more leng chai in person than in photos” kinda look.
I am quite disappointed la…kidding la. BTW, we have SEEN each other in person when we were in Uni la…
Sorry, Siew Pau, i just have to blog about this because i’ve to write something (to get invited to free beer party)
P/S Siew Pau, i went to legal aid room at 10am but it was deserted…

TRAINED

Three Australians and three Englishmen are going to a football match.
At the train station, the three Australians each buy a single and watch as the three Englishmen buy just one ticket between them.

“How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the Australians.

“Watch and learn,” answers one of the Englishmen.

They all board the train. The Australians take their respective seats but all three Englishmen cram into a loo and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor arrives to collect the tickets. He knocks on the loo door and says, “Ticket please.”

The door opens slightly and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Australians are mightily impressed, and after the game, to save money, they decide to repeat the Englishmen’s trick.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, however, the Englishmen don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asks one perplexed Australian.

“Watch and learn,” says one of the Englishmen.

The train departs, the three Englishmen cram into a loo, and the three Australians pile into another one nearby. Shortly afterwards, one of the Englishmen sneaks out of the loo, knocks on the door of the loo in which the Australians are hiding, and says, “Ticket please…”

Aunty and me

I remember once that i blogged about a mother asking her small boy to address me as uncle. I know that i am not getting any younger but yet i do not think i look old. Nevetheless one day i went to a Residence Meeting for my Taman, this makcik was chatting with me. While we were doing that one aunty, probably in her early 40s came and sat behind me…
makcik: ooooh..hello
The makcik said to that Aunty.
makcik: Frank, is that your wife?
me: huh? who?
makcik pointed to the aunty. I was so shy la. The aunty definately CAN’T be my wife!!! I wanted to say “NO, SHE IS OLD” but i don’t know that aunty’s son to come over my house and smash my car windows. There was a good 5 seconds so awkward silence yet the makcik were still looking at us.
me: hahahhaha (fake awkward laughter) No la, Makcik. I not marry yet.
Then, the makcik take a good look at the aunty and whisper to me…
makcik: Oh dear, must be my glasses.

A Typical Working Week

A special “H E L L O” to all readers of www.xes.cx
Hope you regulars of this site have not forgotten me!!!
Anyway, just a short intro. of meself.
I’m the most outstanding ‘inactive’ guestblogger, galFeRari.
I’m currently stuck in Newcastle upon Tyne, a city that boasts of having the most happening nightlife in England and ranks no. 3 in Europe!
I’m not employed at the moment. Please hire me!
That said, my ambition is to become a rich taitai.
teehehee < -- this is my trademark 'haha' btw!! ANYWAY, I wonder if the following holds true for all u WORKING PEOPLE out there! CAYZOX4J.gif
how dreadful if this is true…
CAWL6VWT.gif
What about this??
They say, women who makes an effort in wearing make-up climbs up the corporate ladder faster..
What about men?

Continue reading A Typical Working Week

BEER

First and foremost, HapPy NeW YeAr everyone!!

Despite the government not encouraging any major new year’s eve celebrations this year, I’m sure many of us partied in a minor scaled fashion anyway. Bangsar, Sri Hartamas, KL… were packed, as usual.
Celebrations and parties aside, I’m dedicating this piece of blog to all our male readers. Please read on, and StaY ALERT!

Police today warned all men who frequent clubs and parties to stay cautious when offered drinks by women. Females are using a ‘date-rape drug’ called “Beer” to target unsuspecting men. This drug comes in liquid form and is available nearly everywhere!

Beer” as it is commonly referred to, is used by ‘female predators’ to persuade hapless male victims to go home with them. Women need only persuade a man to consume a few of these “Beers,” and then ask him home for ‘no-strings-attached Sex’, …. a simple approach that renders most men helpless.

After several “Beers,” men will have sex with even unattractive women. Often men awaken with only hazy memories of the night before, a horrible headache, and a vague feeling that something bad happened. Some really unfortunate men are even separated from their life’s savings in a scam called “a relationship!” In extreme cases, females have entrapped unsuspecting males into long-term servitude through a punishment called “Marriage!”

Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam once “Beer” is administered.

If you or some men you know, have fallen victim to this insidious “Beer” and the predatory women who administer it, rest assured, …. male support groups exist in every major city where you can discuss the ugly details of your encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

So, here’s wishing all readers a very Happy New Year filled with hope, joy and love. Cheers to you boys..and no, I’m not offering any beer!
**winks*

As for the ladies, lets just keep up with what we always do BEST!

A woman’s philosophy: “Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with…”

graFfiTi

This is what I call ART!!

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Yes, these are Drew’s Graffitis done in Melbourne.

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Also part of THE Melbourne Graffiti!

So, you ask “What have Malaysians got to do with it?”

I’m telling you,

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Yes, I’m loving it at SS2 McDs

Graffiti has begun to hit the walls in Malaysia with a ssSSsssSSSTTTTTT~~!

The wonderful sound of a spray can at work, ladies and gentlemen.
At least, it has in my bedroom~

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Is it a good idea?

Well, those of you out there, if you want to sembur, remember to…
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.. Sembur With Style!

**Pictures are courtesy of Drew, a close friend and upcoming Malaysia’s biggest graffiti artist aka spray painter larh! teehehee*
Check him out here!

Close shop?

No larh..where can??

How Malaysian are you?

It’s been a rather cold morning here in Sheffield despite reports of UK having a ‘heatwave’. I ask myself, ‘What is a heatwave?’ The weather forecast too reports that there will be thunder storms later in the day…and the current temperature feels like 16 Degrees Celcius. So, what is a ‘heatwave’?

Browsing through my ‘Bulletin Board’ on Friendster, I was hit by this question: How Malaysian are you? This is followed by a list of questions and a list of my honest answers:-

HOW MALAYSIAN ARE YOU?

1. How much is satu kupang?

2. Where’s the favourite spot to take wedding pictures in Taiping?

3. In what dialect is Apo Nak Di Kato?

4. Name at least five variations of roti canai.

5. What is the staple food of native Sarawakians?

6. Name a popular Malay ointment made from “cucumber”?

7. Name the sauce made from fish or shrimp that the Kelantanese love.

8. What does pi mai pi mai tang tu mean?

9. Which fruit is Ipoh famous for?

10. What is the English name for putu mayam?

11. “Lah” is to Peninsular Malaysians as”…”

12. What does ABC stand for?

13. How long is a sari?

14. Name Penang’s famous beach.

15. How do you order coffee mixed with tea at a kopitiam?

16. What’s on Malaysian TV at 8pm?

17. On one side of our RM1 coin is the bunga raya, what’s on the other?

18. Now, what’s on a 10 cents coin, then?

19. What was the name of the KL Commonwealth Games 1998 mascot?

20. When you fill in a form, if you’re not Malay, Chinese or Indian, you are…?

21. Who is Malaysia’s favourite Kampung Boy?

22. How did the word “gostan” come about?

23. Lobo’s Whispers in the Wind is the English version of which famous Malay song?

24. When did Malaysia last win the Thomas Cup?

25. What is the name of our national flag?

26. If you want 4D numbers, who do you consult?

27. What’s the name of the Malaysian-made 175cc motorbike?

28. Name our national bird.

29. If the father is a baba, and the mother is a nyonya, the what is the son?


My answers:-

1. What is kupang??
2. I have no clue!
3. please refer to answer No. 2
4. Roti Telur, Roti Banana, Roti Sardin, Roti Bom, Roti Hawaii (my favourite!)
5. Rice?
6. Minyak Cap *oh gosh!! What’s cucumber in Malay?*
7. Please consult Darren Teo of Kelantan
8. I’m answering this with extreme pride: Pergi mari pergi mari tidak tentu !!!!!
9. Durian?
10. No freaking idea!
11. please refer to previous answer
12. Air Batu Cachang! *Cachang is Kacang with a ‘C’, of course!*
13. At least 6 metres!
14. Hello~!!! People go to Penang for the FOOD not the beach right?!?!!?
15. If Nescafe with Milo is Neslo, then Nescafe with tea will be Nestea?
16. Berita
17. Keris
18. The new 10 cent coin bears a congkak!!
19. I’mAFreakingOrangUtan?
20. Lain-Lain!!!!
21. Darren Teo? (FYI: He’s my Uni classmate) =D heeehehehee…
22. Don’t know..but it means reverse right?
23. Please refer to answer no. 2
24. 1998?
25. Bendera Malaysia <-- Somehow, I feel this answer is not-so-correct
26. My uncle…he buys lots of it!
27. BMX
28. Burung Kakak Tua! They even have a song for it!!
29. boy-boy / ah boy / ah jai?


Upon completion of this questionnaire, I believe I’m a true anak Malaysia. Bangga demi Negara!
=Þ¦lt;P>

Nightmares!

First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS!!! to all those who have successfully graduated from the University of Sheffield with a Law Degree and Engineering Degree respectively while not forgetting those who have just completed their CLP recently. Well done to all of you!!! =D
*please give urselves a pat on your shoulders*

I have been having graduation nightmares for the past whole week, which ranges from forgetting to collect my robe to completely missed my very own graduation! It has been a terrible week for me due to these nightmares..However, not long after that, I received a call from my employment agency which demand that I turn up for a job the very next day in Rotherham (the tuesday before my graduation).

In the end, John (my so called landlord) volunteered to collect my robe for me and even attended my graduation o/b of my parents. =) We even had a celebration after that where he and Rosalind (his wife)took me to Sheikhs, a Lebanese restaurant on West Street.

All in all, I have had a very good week thanks to everyone. As I am typing this, I am currently in my office in Rotherham waiting to go home.. ehhehehee…

Okies! I’m off work now.

Congratulations again to everybody!

=D

what if…

The exam is over now, finally. I felt relived but at the same time, lost. I am still trying to figure out what should I do next. My contract for my apartment is expiring in the middle of September….what I shall do. Shall I find a job first then find a new place or shall I find a place then find a job? What shall I do if I don’t get into the bloody quota? Shall be a legal clerk and in the meantime attend classes religiously, part time, during the weekend or shall I be doing something else and try again a year later?
P.S. If everything I wrote about does not make any sense…don’t bother reading them…i am writing this on a semi conscious mind. Yes, I am high on alcohol…in another word; I am quite fuck already…hehehhehe