Month: July 2002

Melody’s dog has been diagnosed with heartworm. The disease is a fatal one where it affects the dog’s heart. Diana is 7 years old and slightly overweight (about 9kgs and we had problem carrying her). According to Melody, Diana hates the vet and would start peeing and shiver if brought there. We had to wrap plastic bags around her ass before we put her into my car so that she doesn’t pee or shit on my car. The vet gave her an injection and loads of medicines for her to eat. The treatment will take a long time and not a guaranteed successful treatment. The vet said that there might be a 10 to 20 percent chance that she might die from the medication itself but she will definitely die if not treated. We have to bring her back to the vet for intensive care for 4 days in 2 weeks time! We took the opportunity to borrow a nail clipper from the vet. Melody had not been cutting Diana’s nails for years and it seems that Diana’s nails had grown so long that it curled 720 degrees! After all the fuss, we finally let Diana run around freely. The first thing she did was, pee on the floor. Thank god the vet didn’t went berserk. The bill came up to an outrage RM130.
– 6:08AM

Dealing with 2 Assholes…Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know.Take it out on someone you DON’T know.

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialled it.

A man answered saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled “You’re an asshole!” and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word “asshole,” and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I’d call him up.

He’d answer, and I’d yell, “You’re an asshole!” It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea.

I dialled his number and when I heard his voice, “Hello?” I made up a name. “Hi. I’m with the Telephone Company and I’m just calling to see if you’d be interested in our caller ID program?” “No!” he shouted and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”
(Keep reading this, it gets better!)

An old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.

“Great”, I thought, “she’s finally leaving.” All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, “You can’t do that. I was here first!” The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping centre as if I didn’t even exist. I thought to
myself, “This guy’s another asshole; there sure are a lot of assholes in this world.” Then, I noticed he had a “For Sale” sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone number. Then, I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I’m sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, “You’re an asshole!” (It’s really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I’d better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings, someone answered the phone and said, “Hello.”
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can you tell me where I can see it?”
“Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s
parked right out front.”
I said, “What’s your name?”
“My name is Don Hansen.”
“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I’m home in the evenings.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Sure…” “Don, you’re an asshole!” And I slammed the phone down.

Then, I added Don Hansen’s number to my speed dialler. I must say, for a
while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now, when I had a
problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of calling
the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn’t as enjoyable as it used
to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with this
solution:
First, I had my phone speed dial asshole #1.
A man answered nicely, “Hello?”
I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” but I didn’t hang up.
The asshole said, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He said, “Stop calling me.”
I said, “Make me, asshole.”
He said, “What’s your name, pal?”
So I told him, “Don Hansen.”
He said, “Where do you live?”
“1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and my black BMW’s parked out
front.”
“I’m coming over right now, Don. You’d better start saying your prayers.”
“Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole!” and I hung up.
Then I called asshole #2.
Don Hansen answered, “Hello?”
I said, “Hello, asshole.”
He said, “If I ever find out who you are…”
“You’ll what?”
“I’ll kick your ass.”
“Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now, asshole.”

And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802, West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day.
– 5:58PMMen in Black II is great but a bit confusing. It’s better if I could remember Men in Black I clearly before watching Men in Black II.
– 3:34AMNighttime. Day 2
Anyone who has been to Thailand never fails to mention tiger shows (sex shows) and ah kua shows (transvestite shows). Wawa offered to take us to an ah kua show for 700 baht (rm70) which includes dinner and an hour of traditional dance at a place called Mambo (located somewhere near Sukumpit rd). The traditional dance wasn’t that interesting and the narrator speaks lousy English. We couldn’t understand a word she says! An hour later, the real show begins. We had good seats which were 2 rows away from the stage! Furthermore, the show was great! The transvestites were dancing and singing on the stage, Broadway style! Not every transvestite looks exactly like a woman. Only couple of them are pretty! There is one that I really like. He looked like a Hong Kong actress! Approximately one hour later, the show ends and photo sessions are held outside the building. Melody wanted to take a picture with one of the funny transvestite. He was happy to take with us. We then headed to another group of transvestite and took a picture with them. However, this time, they demanded a tip and were very adamant with it. I had to fork out 20 baht for each of them. Greedy fuckers. I was looking for my favourite transvestite and he was happily there standing waiting for people to take pictures with him. While I was trying to pose, I accidentally bumped my elbow onto his so-called breast. It was as hard as a rock! I paid him 20 baht and left the place feeling disgusted.
We headed to the sex show next. Wawa kept on telling us not to try any stunts performed in the sex show. As usual, sex shows are boring but this is much better than those I saw in Amsterdam. The girls aren’t that pretty but the things they do are extraordinary. Initially it was just some stripping, heterosexual sex and lesbian acts but soon it turned into a circus show. One of the girls started to perform fire eating. Another one had sharp razors tied on a string and started to pull them out from her pussy. The rest of their acts were common. They had pussy popping ping-pong balls, cigarettes smoking pussy (the girl offered one of the half smoked cigarettes to a guy and he eventually puffed it) etc. No wonder Wawa told us not to try any stunts.
– 3:33AM

I’m still working on my Thailand trip details.

guess who is this? hehe

Miraculously, my flu went off in just a day. All i did was just drink a lot of water and slept from night till afternoon.
Finally, after months of planning, i’m going to Bangkok tomorrow! It will be a 5 days trip. I’ll be leaving tomorrow night and be back on Monday morning.
Updated album section with Sheffield pictures.
– 11:59PM

The state of Terengganu has passed the controversial Islamic law. The state, controlled by the opposition fundamentalist Islamic party (PAS), has passed the Islamic law with minor adjustments. The enactment introduces Quranic punishments for six types of offences: theft, robbery, illicit sex (including incest and sodomy), false accusation of illicit sex, drinking liquor and apostasy. The punishments include the amputation of limbs, death by stoning, whipping and jail.The enactment would apply to all Muslims over the age of 18 who commit offences in Terengganu. Non-Muslims may opt to be covered by it.
Some people just loves to take advantage of the law.
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,4667523%255E661,00.html
Cyberjaya outdoor rave pictures.
http://www.justdancelah.com/scene/regen.htm Horrible pictures!
check out http://www.justdancelah.com/scene/regen/Aut_2373.jpg muahaha She’s one of the girls whom Melvin fetched home.
– 9:29PMLack of sleep and constantly running around makes me sick. I’m down with flu..arggh!!
– 7:39PM

I am exhausted. My friends and I had a shopping spree around Chinatown.
The street was narrow and crowded with people. It was hard to walk around without bumping into people.
We were supposed to buy some imitation jerseys for our friends in Brisbane. They wanted China’s jersey. We went around shops asking for prices and whether do they have anymore stock. However, it seems that most shops are out of China jerseys. There are only couple of them who has them but with limited stock. We had to walk back and forth the congested pathway to other shops to get 6 China jerseys.
Shopping in Chinatown is not a pleasant experience. A wannabe gangster shopkeeper screwed Wai Keong. We were asking that arse whether does he have any more China or South Korea jersey and we stayed around to look at his jerseys. Minutes later, we decided to walk around Chinatown first for other shops and told that arse that we’ll come back later. However, that arse mumbled something offensive to us and Wai Keong in reply swore ?mahai? (mother?s pussy). The arse pulled Wai Keong and started screwing him and threatened him. Due to the fact that there are tons of gangsters around Chinatown and we don?t want to end up dead in the alley, Wai Keong controlled his anger and apologized to him. However, that arse in reply said,
“sorry, tiu lei lou mou? Sorry ah? Mou tang tou ngo tah kau lei ching gong sorry? (sorry, fuck your mother, sorry? Why don?t you say sorry after I whack you?)”.
Wai Keong was speechless.
“Lei hai mai hou lan emm sun? oi chek chau mou? (Are you pissed with me? Do you want to fight with me, one on one?)”
Things almost got out of hand until a friend of arse cooled him down and politely asked us to leave. What a way to make business man. In the end of the day, we bought more than 20 jerseys and shorts. We?re glad that the profits did not land on the hands of the arse.
–
11:23PM
The outdoor rave was damn onz! The journey towards there was a quick one although it’s far away from Kuala Lumpur. Melvin speeded all the way to Cyberjaya. Although the place didn?t turn out as what i expected but yet it still could accommodate the 1000 strong crowd. However, it was hot and there weren?t any fans outside the deejay console! Anyway, there were couple of local celebrities around namely, Singer Ning Baizura and hitz.fm dj fly guy (he was all alone, I wonder why, I?ve seen his partner lil`kev in raves before and he was alone too). As for the crowd, they were a happening bunch. There were few people carrying water guns around and shot people with it. Furthermore, there were tons of ex Movement clubbers around and a few good Melbourne shufflers. I met tons of my long lost friends who I knew from Movement namely gelap, kim, zaxy, eishinx, farid, brick etc. Took couple of photos with them. brick introduced his friends to me but however they were too fucked to talk. One of them even said ?I cant see anything!?
There were rumours that the police are gonna raid the place but thank god it wasn?t true. Some of my other friends took the risk of bringing along and consume their supply of ecstasy. If they were caught, I?ll have tons of friends on the death row. We were there from 12am till 5am and by the end of the night, we were bloody exhausted. Melvin some how picked 2 girls who speak with American accent (or probably they?re his friends) and offered them a ride home. Cris and I had to squeeze in the backseat with them while Ben and Melvin comfortably seats on the front seats.

The venue

I accidentally banged a car while reversing my car today. There wasn’t any damage but everyone was looking at me. It was bloody embarrassing.
– 10:58PMHappy Birthday to di0n 😛
– 5:46PMI might be going to an outdoor rave at Cyberjaya tonight. Here are the details
Regenerate
6 July, 10pm
An outdoor event by Tempo and Frenzy, the purveyors of KL’s most talked about warehouse raves and jungle parties. The energy levels tonight threaten to soar sky-high with a DJ line-up of Gregoire’s sexy house, electro tech-house from Ben Katana and the signature sounds of Gabriel and Groovedoctor. (see preview)
RM40 (inclusive of 1 drink and 1 KLue magazine)
Century Square
Cyberjaya, Selangor (near Cyberview Resort)
For more information, call Tempo at 03-2694 9488
http://www.minorityreport.com/: A must watch show!
– 4:34AM