Despite the fact that CLP exam is 4 1/2 months away, the amount of shit I have to memorize is enormous. My lecturer once said CLP exam is one of the toughest in the world, once you pass it, you can pass anything in this world. It seems pretty convincing when last year’s passing rate was only 18% of the rumored 1000 people who took the exam.
With the amount of shitload I have to read, I don’t think my brain can take it. But now, I’m actually trying to memorize everything by imputing everything permanently into my brain. You know, just like how you go to McDonalds and without referring to the menu, you know there’s double cheeseburger on the menu.
Any suggestions to improve my memory?
Couple of friends of mine seek external help in order to study. For example,
A friend a mine took ginkgo biloba, a pill that increases your brain power. I think she stopped after we told her about the fine print on her gingko biloba bottle. It says, “WARNING: increases sex drive”
Another friend of mine (you know who you are la haah), tried smoking weed. Right after smoking his shit, he sat on his study table and opened his book. 5 minutes later…zzzzz…too stone to study…
And traditional believe. Fish eyes are believed to increase memory power. Oh my god, too gross. I must strongly suggest that the only appropriate chewable food is chewing gum.
And lastly, this would be my last resort…
If only I have those… if only..
ATTN: NOTE THAT I DID NOT WRITE THIS ARTICLE. GOT THIS FROM A FORWARDED MAIL
Just being a Malaysian
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS: Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE: Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM: None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything…
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN): Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN): Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy,stomach cramps, period, haven’t remove make-up, haven’t shower, no water supply, going to watch “Santa Barbara”, depress, no mood, etc…
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. (oh ya??)
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol. The “cure for all”. If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say “Pew Jeot”. When I was in school, Milo was always ‘Mee Lo’, now that I’m sophisticated, I say “My Lo”. So don’t be embarassed saying “Carry 4” when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as “rangutan”.
NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.
Alex Woo, my Sheffield Uni classmate and also CLP classmate, invited me to his birthday party at his place. Even though I arrived late, I was in time for the cake cutting session.
The party was good. We drowned him with alcohol, then threw him into the pool and then drowned him with alcohol again. We made him drink beer, wine, sake and Martel.
We adjourned to his apartment after security guards shooed us away for being too noisy. We made him drink again but he was pretty reluctant to drink though.
Alex: I can?t drink anymore, I?m drunk
Us: you call that a sip? Tiu lei!! Drink more!!
Alex: I?m drunk (lies on the floor like a flipped turtle)
Us: my mother can drink better than you la
Alex: ? (lies on the floor like a flipped turtle again)
We had this card game. Anyone who gets the smallest card (2 of Diamond) has to drink. Poor Alex had 2 of Diamond for 3 consecutive rounds. No doubt he was fucked. We left the place after he puked his guts out in the toilet.
The morals of the story are:
a) Never buy excessive alcohol for your own birthday party unless you want to die of alcohol poisoning
b) Never held a birthday party next to a swimming pool unless you want people to throw you into the pool.
NOTE: THE REFERRED DOCUMENTARY HAS NO RELATION TO MELBOURNE SHUFFLER DOCUMENTARY DVD.
Melbourne Shuffle Documentary, new from inthemix.au
Get it @ http://www.inthemix.com.au/tv/clips/20040130_shuffle/index.php
Personally, i think this video is not up to the standard. It doesn’t contain many visuals on shuffling. It is more of a documentary of Melbourne’s rave scene. However, I highly appreciate the author of this video for her hard work and commitment to popularize Melbourne Shuffle. Unfortunately, the contents of video are not up to standard.
I have the video file with me but I will not upload it on my server (it’s 18mb in size unless trance-tech wants to host it 😀 ). If you want it, message me..
Congratulations to Irenekay!!
She’s getting married end of this month.
She text me saying, “I know this may seem shocking 2 u, but u r invited 2 my weding on 30th this month. Venue at Shangri la KL. At 7:30PM. RSVP me asap. Thanks. Hope 2 see u”.
She posted this on her website after sending that sms out
After I sms this out, this is one of de few replies i got………
Kelvin Chin: Serious? Actually I see it coming already……..
Me : yeah, so are you free to come?
Kelvin :I’ll give a call to you this weekend……
Adrian:How come outta sudden? Are u serious about it? Congrats!!!!
Me :Yeah thanks, plz check the calender to check see you can make it or not?
Adrian: yeahh…I’ll come on the 32nd…..
Call from Pervert Phoon(Siew Mun(SM))…….,
SM:Serious!??? Accident issit?OMG!!!!…I’m so happy for you……
Me: hahaha..yeah..check your calender and see whether you can make it…….
Me:You really fall for it? hahahha….. this month Feb lar…where got 30th?
SM: Oh yeah hor…. I thought next month………. so Bar Savanh this Fri……
Lis:You think I’m stupid ark??? I’m a Feb child lar…kekeke
Cris:Where got 30th in this month? You think I believe?????
The CHAMPION reply I get this round goes to…….. www.xes.cx!!!!!
Xes:Yao mou lan??
Me : yeah…so come yeah
Xes:There’s this thing call abortion you know
Me:errr….the child is innocent……accident case, so no choice lor….
Xes: Aiyoh…….It’s not consider a baby until it’s a fetus!But if that’s your choice then it’s oklar….Can’t wait to see your baby…haha
Few minutes later……….
Xes:Damn forgot it’s february now….haha.
Ma ChEe byE I hAvE bEen tRickeDd!!!!!!!!!!
Recently, FIFA president, Sepp Blatter told the press that ” Let the Women (footballers) play in more feminine clothing…They could for example, have tighter shorts.”
what do the women footballer think?
Lisa Klaveness (Norway): “If the crowd wanted to see models, they should buy a copy of Playboy.”
Kara Lang (Canada): “I would love to see Sepp Blatter wearing hot pants.”
Pretty face is everything?
Seriously, I think players with pretty faces and hot bodies really help the clubs to gain more fans, fame and of cause money. For instance, when Man Utd sold pretty boy, Beckham, they bought baby face Christiano Ronaldo to replace Beckham as the latest Pin up boy for Old Trafford. Although the real reason behind the purchase is because of his skill, the girls seem to pay more attention to his smile and sexy body. I might sound rather sexist when I say that but guys are the same too. This reminds me of one China Beer Commercial i saw on Satellite TV, 2 years ago.
The commercial started with two bored guys watching Women World Cup Final between USA and another team on TV. When the final whistle went, the two guys sat up straight with their faces sticking to the TV BECAUSE the USA players were taking off their jersey! They were running around the field with only their SPORT BRA on to celebrate their victory. Now you say that it is just a TV commercial, it is not true. You might say that ” I watch sport because it is exciting ” Well, all those macho talks go down the drain when Anna Kournikova comes on the tennis court. They will go like “Wow, I can see her panty” or “Anna is sitting down now! Aiya, why she put that big towel on her lap lar!”…Sound like someone you know?
Blogger A: Frank, you are also like that lar. Don’t say other people lar. You fucking hypocrite!
Frank: I am only human lar!
I am in a state, I am.
Someone just told me that even dogs didn’t want me. I know he meant it as a joke, but I took it really badly. It?s a joke, just a joke. You know how he is.
And you know what, joke or no joke; I think that was really uncalled for. I’m really hurt. *heart breaks..
Moving on, work for me the past 2 months have been a basket of mixed nuts. Seen the good, experienced the bad, cried at the worse. Being such a junior, I am constantly being taught by my colleagues ? one too many of them that is. Getting instructions from any of them is a headache coz they each give contradicting instructions and directions, I don?t know which to follow and not only do I end up completely confused, they think I am dumb for not listening to him or her or her. Make up your mind!
And what?s more, Oon and Tucks are going back Australia? don’t go? :?( I wish I had so much more time with you guys, I wish I made more time for you guys. It is about being completely comfortable with you guys that count. I will never live down the guilt. :?( And moreover, who is gonna take me to Br3akers now? And be oH So PaTieNt while playing foos with me? WHo?? 🙁
Aiyah, I?m in a sour mood. Note to self: Better not blog when you are in a bitter frame of mind.
ATTENTION ALL ICQ USERS
DO NOT VISIT http://www.jokeworld.biz/index.html
A worm is spreading via ICQ, using a flaw in MSIE and a misconfiguration in ICQ itself. A message is sent via ICQ with the link “http://www.jokeworld.biz/index.html”; upon visiting that page with ICQ running in the default configuration, code is downloaded. The next time the system is started, the code will be run.
Pictures from Umeng’s camera.
More pictures @ http://www.mycen.com.my/picturestory/xgames.html
I want to get a digital camera.. any suggestions? Canon EOS 300D seems pretty tempting but it’s pretty expensive.. further I already own a SLR camera.
Today, an old friend messaged me on my mobile phone:-
“Do you mind if I borrow your Professional Practice lecture notes and I promise it is for personal use…other subject I got textbook except for this…signed Mr Cow (not his real name).”
Now,should i lend my notes to Mr Cow?
1. Although he was someone I met in my High School, we had never spoken much to each other in school or after we graduated.
2. We lost contact for 6 years but we bumped into each other recently. He stays a few blocks from me now in KL but we still do not hang out or speak with each other.
3. The quota for CLP is so low. I don’t think helping a student from another college will increase my chance of passing.
What will I lose if I do not lend him the notes?
1. A so call friend
2. I will be known as an asshole and a selfish bastard
Can I live with that?
Yes. It is not my fault that he joined the wrong college for CLP.
My friends and I went to watch the Asian Xgames at Bukit Jalil. We watched in awe as contestants of the rock climbing competition were trying to climb a wall which is almost impossible to climb. Basically, the rocks that you hold on could only fit 2 of your fingers.
I arrived at the place late. The finals were just about to start. Some people came early in the afternoon to check out the scene. Man, they were fried by the hot scorching sun. Further, there were people from all around the world for example, Japanese chicks in bikinis, Japanese chicks in bikinis and Japanese chicks in bikinis.
And I must say, all of the contestant’s bodies were oh my god, muscular and nicely toned. I WANT I
WANT I WANT!!!!
One of my friends was complaining that our Malaysian crowd is not sporting as they tend to be very quiet. I felt pity for the MCs that were trying to get people to cheer and scream for performances that they have done. It’s either the crowd doesn’t understand English or they’re just too shy to scream and shout. Unlike other countries, people are much more sporting and know how to make things more interesting. IMHO I think the way to solve such deficiency of our society is by providing them alcohol or any other substance that makes them high. Look at our raves man…