clubbing on friday

Melody’s dog has been diagnosed with heartworm. The disease is a fatal one where it affects the dog’s heart. Diana is 7 years old and slightly overweight (about 9kgs and we had problem carrying her). According to Melody, Diana hates the vet and would start peeing and shiver if brought there. We had to wrap plastic bags around her ass before we put her into my car so that she doesn’t pee or shit on my car. The vet gave her an injection and loads of medicines for her to eat. The treatment will take a long time and not a guaranteed successful treatment. The vet said that there might be a 10 to 20 percent chance that she might die from the medication itself but she will definitely die if not treated. We have to bring her back to the vet for intensive care for 4 days in 2 weeks time! We took the opportunity to borrow a nail clipper from the vet. Melody had not been cutting Diana’s nails for years and it seems that Diana’s nails had grown so long that it curled 720 degrees! After all the fuss, we finally let Diana run around freely. The first thing she did was, pee on the floor. Thank god the vet didn’t went berserk. The bill came up to an outrage RM130.

friday night!

Dealing with 2 Assholes…Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know.Take it out on someone you DON’T know.

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialled it.

A man answered saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled “You’re an asshole!” and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word “asshole,” and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I’d call him up.

He’d answer, and I’d yell, “You’re an asshole!” It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea.

I dialled his number and when I heard his voice, “Hello?” I made up a name. “Hi. I’m with the Telephone Company and I’m just calling to see if you’d be interested in our caller ID program?” “No!” he shouted and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”
(Keep reading this, it gets better!)

An old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.

“Great”, I thought, “she’s finally leaving.” All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, “You can’t do that. I was here first!” The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping centre as if I didn’t even exist. I thought to
myself, “This guy’s another asshole; there sure are a lot of assholes in this world.” Then, I noticed he had a “For Sale” sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone number. Then, I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I’m sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, “You’re an asshole!” (It’s really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I’d better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings, someone answered the phone and said, “Hello.”
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can you tell me where I can see it?”
“Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s
parked right out front.”
I said, “What’s your name?”
“My name is Don Hansen.”
“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I’m home in the evenings.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Sure…” “Don, you’re an asshole!” And I slammed the phone down.

Then, I added Don Hansen’s number to my speed dialler. I must say, for a
while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now, when I had a
problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of calling
the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn’t as enjoyable as it used
to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with this
First, I had my phone speed dial asshole #1.
A man answered nicely, “Hello?”
I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” but I didn’t hang up.
The asshole said, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He said, “Stop calling me.”
I said, “Make me, asshole.”
He said, “What’s your name, pal?”
So I told him, “Don Hansen.”
He said, “Where do you live?”
“1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and my black BMW’s parked out
“I’m coming over right now, Don. You’d better start saying your prayers.”
“Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole!” and I hung up.
Then I called asshole #2.
Don Hansen answered, “Hello?”
I said, “Hello, asshole.”
He said, “If I ever find out who you are…”
“You’ll what?”
“I’ll kick your ass.”
“Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now, asshole.”

And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802, West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day.
5:58PMMen in Black II is great but a bit confusing. It’s better if I could remember Men in Black I clearly before watching Men in Black II.
3:34AMNighttime. Day 2
Anyone who has been to Thailand never fails to mention tiger shows (sex shows) and ah kua shows (transvestite shows). Wawa offered to take us to an ah kua show for 700 baht (rm70) which includes dinner and an hour of traditional dance at a place called Mambo (located somewhere near Sukumpit rd). The traditional dance wasn’t that interesting and the narrator speaks lousy English. We couldn’t understand a word she says! An hour later, the real show begins. We had good seats which were 2 rows away from the stage! Furthermore, the show was great! The transvestites were dancing and singing on the stage, Broadway style! Not every transvestite looks exactly like a woman. Only couple of them are pretty! There is one that I really like. He looked like a Hong Kong actress! Approximately one hour later, the show ends and photo sessions are held outside the building. Melody wanted to take a picture with one of the funny transvestite. He was happy to take with us. We then headed to another group of transvestite and took a picture with them. However, this time, they demanded a tip and were very adamant with it. I had to fork out 20 baht for each of them. Greedy fuckers. I was looking for my favourite transvestite and he was happily there standing waiting for people to take pictures with him. While I was trying to pose, I accidentally bumped my elbow onto his so-called breast. It was as hard as a rock! I paid him 20 baht and left the place feeling disgusted.
We headed to the sex show next. Wawa kept on telling us not to try any stunts performed in the sex show. As usual, sex shows are boring but this is much better than those I saw in Amsterdam. The girls aren’t that pretty but the things they do are extraordinary. Initially it was just some stripping, heterosexual sex and lesbian acts but soon it turned into a circus show. One of the girls started to perform fire eating. Another one had sharp razors tied on a string and started to pull them out from her pussy. The rest of their acts were common. They had pussy popping ping-pong balls, cigarettes smoking pussy (the girl offered one of the half smoked cigarettes to a guy and he eventually puffed it) etc. No wonder Wawa told us not to try any stunts.

Bangkok Day 2

Day 2

Our tour package includes breakfast buffet provided by the hotel. They serve tasty bacon, ham, eggs and croissant. And today, the tour provides a quick tour to the snake farm and the gem factory.

According to Wawa, China businessmen own the snake farm. We were shown around the area and a quick briefing on snakes. Then after that, we were taken into a room and a Chinese man starts giving out in-depth details about snakes. He was speaking in Mandarin and therefore I cant get most of the things he said (yes, my Mandarin is bad). All I was able to catch are that snake organs can be used as medicines and poisonous snakes has 2 teeth while the non poisonous ones have more than 2 and therefore if someone was bitten by a snake and if there are 2 bite marks, death would be in few minutes!

We were offered some tonic wine before the briefing. The wine is made of Chinese herbs medicines preserved in Kao Lian wine for three years and therefore good for health. However, it tasted like shit! We left as soon as the briefing finishes. Wawa was waiting for us downstairs and he offered me another horrible tonic wine.

Thailand is one of the main producers of gems in the world and produces the best gems in the world. They are graded in size, colour, shape and rarity. We were brought into a small room with few workers constructing gems and jeweleries. And after that, they brought us to the other side of the building where they sell jewelleries. Guides were provided and they’ll give brief explanation to us. However, they are very pesky sometimes. Our guide kept on pestering Melody to buy something. She was very polite and therefore we were reluctant to refuse her. We tried avoiding her and stuff but yet she did not give up.

In the end of the day, Melody bought an earring to shut her up.
It was lunch time after the gem factory and snake farm tour. Wawa brought us to Mahboonkrong (MBK) shopping centre. The shopping centre is just like other shopping centre back in KL (identical to Sg.Wang) but MBK is huge! So huge that Melody and I were exhausted even before we could finish touring the whole place!

The food court is located at the fourth floor. Melody and I had delicious tom yam (40 baht, it tasted peanuty and spicy!) and beef noodles (40 bath).

Tom Yam 😀

Oh, I bought myself boxing gloves for 450 baht (rm45)! We were supposed to meet Wawa at 6pm but by the time we finish lunch we still have 4 hours to go!

We decided to pay Erawan Shrine a visit. It’s a small shrine located next to the Hyatt Erawan Hotel. The 4 faced Buddha lies on the middle of the shrine. Worshippers can buy joss sticks and offerings from a counter (I paid 20 baht for 12 sticks and flowers) and place them on each of the 4 altars.

On the other side of the shrine, a group of traditional Thai dancers sit under the shades. Worshippers have to pay them to dance. It was bloody hot and we were sweating like mad while praying. We decided to loiter in Hyatt hotel and Sogo (they’re just side by side).

Bangkok has one of the most congested roads in the world. There are about 6 million people in Bangkok with 50000 taxis roaming the streets! After sitting, drinking and reading books in Sogo for hours, we decided to return back to MBK. However, the taxis refused to charge us by meter. They demanded 200 baht from us! We struck down their offers immediately. We asked a policeman for direction to MBK. According to him MBK is about 10 minutes walk. In the end of the day, Melody and I were sticky, smelly and exhausted.

Bangkok jam


jon’s bday

I’m still working on my Thailand trip details.

guess who is this? hehe

11:59PMIt’s Jonathan’s 21st birthday today! He invited us to his birthday party at Bangar. I did some catching up with my Sheffield Uni mates. It’s been a while since I saw them. Seems like everyone has a job at the law firm now.
11:59PMSomeone stole all the shoes outside my house. That arse even stole our broom! It’s not the first time that our belonging got stolen. My clothes and shoes were stolen occasionally. grrr..

Bangkok, Thailand 2002

Day 1
11 July 2002 Thursday

Melody’s mother sent us to the airport. I had to take a cab to her house first. I had a short chat with the taxi driver, there is quite alot of interesting stuff that you could learn from strangers. The Chinese taxi driver who doesn’t speak proper English, a man of his 40s is a fan of English songs. He used to study in a school called Mahatma Gandhi high school, a private school. The school was situated opposite the old Turf club and was filled with Indian students. He was telling me how he and his friends rush to the Turf club to gamble everyday. He was once a businessman but it failed due to the 1986 economic crisis. He ended up driving a taxi cab and years after that he bought couple of them and starts renting it to others. And now he owns a bakery business. Driving a taxi now is just to kill time for him.

We arrived at KLIA 2 hours before departure. Had a drink while waiting. The price drinks at KLIA are outrageous. A bloody fresh squeezed orange juice cost RM8.90! I spoke to a dark and distinguish middle aged Thai man. He was complaining about the service of the caf�. I started with

“Where are you from?”
“Bangkok, and you?”
“KL, I’m going to Bangkok later. Anything good to eat?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“mmm, beef and grasshoppers?
“well, beef is nice! The grasshoppers are easily available infront of shopping centres. They sell them as snacks”

He kept on talking. I wanted to leave and tried excusing myself but he just couldn’t stop talking. The last line went “Where are you staying in Bangkok?”
“I’m staying in First Hotel”
He ended with “Horrible place”

The flight was a bumpy one. The food provided by Thai airways was not bad compared to other airlines (probably tasted good cause we were hungry). However, their stewardesses aren’t that pretty but they sound really cute when they speak Thai. It took about an hour and 45 minutes.

Bangkok city is nothing special. Same scenery, super highways, traffic jams but with loads of huge billboards (Biggest I’ve ever seen!) and loads of 7-11s (I MEAN LOADS! There is one in almost every street!)
We stayed at First hotel. It might be called the First hotel because it’s one of the first hotels in Bangkok. The authority? Run down and poorly maintained! The shower is horrible. One minute it’s too hot and the next minute it’s too cold. The place is spooky.
Our tour guide, Wawa is a Thai. He talks a lot of crap but yet entertaining and friendly. Every time a girl passes by, he’ll go like oh that’s my ex girlfriend! He gave us the Thai names for young girls (okk okk), old girls (Ekk Ekk) and transvestites (Akk Akk) There was once he spoke about his background. He used to stay in Bangkok’s Chinatown but was forced to move out because of the economic recession.

“This hotel, 5 star, owned by Chinese. They control Bangkok’s business trade”, said Wawa while pointing towards a huge hotel.

Wawa is our tour guide of the 6 person group, 2 couples (including me and melody) and 2 other guys. Initially everyone was shy to talk to each other. But later on, we started to talk. The couple, William and Natalie are from KL. Natalie loves to shop and she would dump her boyfriend somewhere to shop.

I’m back from Bangkok! Details of the trip..coming up soon!

Bangkok tonight!

what’s in bangkok? why are you going there? for vacation? and for 5 days only? wow! that’s fast.. okei.. i have way too many q’s already.. see yah!

Posted by yen @ 07/11/2002 12:17 AM CST

hey yen! I’m going on a package tour, thats why it’s only 5 days. However, to be exact, it’s only 3 days! It’s due to the fact that i’m leaving Thursday night for Bangkok and Monday morning back to KL! I guess we wont have anything to do once we reach Bangkok tonight because most of the places are closed (except for Pat Pong, thats the Red Light District of Bangkok). Here are some of the recommended places to visit in Bangkok.
Wat Poh (temple)
Wat Arun (temple)
Emerald Buddha
Grand Palace
Jim Thompson’s house
Siam Square
National museum
Lumpini Boxing Stadium for Muay Thai
Snake Farm
Patpong – Red Light district and night market
Nana Entertainment
Pat Klong market aka Floating Market
Erawan Shrine
Chatukchak Market
Check out

bang cock tomorrow!

Miraculously, my flu went off in just a day. All i did was just drink a lot of water and slept from night till afternoon.
Finally, after months of planning, i’m going to Bangkok tomorrow! It will be a 5 days trip. I’ll be leaving tomorrow night and be back on Monday morning.
Updated album section with Sheffield pictures.

i’m sick…

The state of Terengganu has passed the controversial Islamic law. The state, controlled by the opposition fundamentalist Islamic party (PAS), has passed the Islamic law with minor adjustments. The enactment introduces Quranic punishments for six types of offences: theft, robbery, illicit sex (including incest and sodomy), false accusation of illicit sex, drinking liquor and apostasy. The punishments include the amputation of limbs, death by stoning, whipping and jail.The enactment would apply to all Muslims over the age of 18 who commit offences in Terengganu. Non-Muslims may opt to be covered by it.
Some people just loves to take advantage of the law.,5478,4667523%255E661,00.html
Cyberjaya outdoor rave pictures. Horrible pictures!
check out muahaha She’s one of the girls whom Melvin fetched home.
9:29PMLack of sleep and constantly running around makes me sick. I’m down with flu..arggh!!

sunday morningg..!

I am exhausted. My friends and I had a shopping spree around Chinatown.
The street was narrow and crowded with people. It was hard to walk around without bumping into people.
We were supposed to buy some imitation jerseys for our friends in Brisbane. They wanted China’s jersey. We went around shops asking for prices and whether do they have anymore stock. However, it seems that most shops are out of China jerseys. There are only couple of them who has them but with limited stock. We had to walk back and forth the congested pathway to other shops to get 6 China jerseys.
Shopping in Chinatown is not a pleasant experience. A wannabe gangster shopkeeper screwed Wai Keong. We were asking that arse whether does he have any more China or South Korea jersey and we stayed around to look at his jerseys. Minutes later, we decided to walk around Chinatown first for other shops and told that arse that we’ll come back later. However, that arse mumbled something offensive to us and Wai Keong in reply swore ?mahai? (mother?s pussy). The arse pulled Wai Keong and started screwing him and threatened him. Due to the fact that there are tons of gangsters around Chinatown and we don?t want to end up dead in the alley, Wai Keong controlled his anger and apologized to him. However, that arse in reply said,
“sorry, tiu lei lou mou? Sorry ah? Mou tang tou ngo tah kau lei ching gong sorry? (sorry, fuck your mother, sorry? Why don?t you say sorry after I whack you?)”.
Wai Keong was speechless.
“Lei hai mai hou lan emm sun? oi chek chau mou? (Are you pissed with me? Do you want to fight with me, one on one?)”
Things almost got out of hand until a friend of arse cooled him down and politely asked us to leave. What a way to make business man. In the end of the day, we bought more than 20 jerseys and shorts. We?re glad that the profits did not land on the hands of the arse.

The outdoor rave was damn onz! The journey towards there was a quick one although it’s far away from Kuala Lumpur. Melvin speeded all the way to Cyberjaya. Although the place didn?t turn out as what i expected but yet it still could accommodate the 1000 strong crowd. However, it was hot and there weren?t any fans outside the deejay console! Anyway, there were couple of local celebrities around namely, Singer Ning Baizura and dj fly guy (he was all alone, I wonder why, I?ve seen his partner lil`kev in raves before and he was alone too). As for the crowd, they were a happening bunch. There were few people carrying water guns around and shot people with it. Furthermore, there were tons of ex Movement clubbers around and a few good Melbourne shufflers. I met tons of my long lost friends who I knew from Movement namely gelap, kim, zaxy, eishinx, farid, brick etc. Took couple of photos with them. brick introduced his friends to me but however they were too fucked to talk. One of them even said ?I cant see anything!?
There were rumours that the police are gonna raid the place but thank god it wasn?t true. Some of my other friends took the risk of bringing along and consume their supply of ecstasy. If they were caught, I?ll have tons of friends on the death row. We were there from 12am till 5am and by the end of the night, we were bloody exhausted. Melvin some how picked 2 girls who speak with American accent (or probably they?re his friends) and offered them a ride home. Cris and I had to squeeze in the backseat with them while Ben and Melvin comfortably seats on the front seats.

The venue


saturday night outdoor rave!

I accidentally banged a car while reversing my car today. There wasn’t any damage but everyone was looking at me. It was bloody embarrassing.
10:58PMHappy Birthday to di0n 😛
5:46PMI might be going to an outdoor rave at Cyberjaya tonight. Here are the details
6 July, 10pm
An outdoor event by Tempo and Frenzy, the purveyors of KL’s most talked about warehouse raves and jungle parties. The energy levels tonight threaten to soar sky-high with a DJ line-up of Gregoire’s sexy house, electro tech-house from Ben Katana and the signature sounds of Gabriel and Groovedoctor. (see preview)
RM40 (inclusive of 1 drink and 1 KLue magazine)
Century Square
Cyberjaya, Selangor (near Cyberview Resort)
For more information, call Tempo at 03-2694 9488 A must watch show!