KF’s Wedding – Part I

One of the best things in life is to see one of your best buddies get hitched. One of my high school friends (and also university mate), KF, decided to get hitched early.

In Chinese tradition, before the wedding day, the groom and his hengtais (brothers) will have to ‘save’ the bride from the evil chi muis (sisters) who will lock the bride up in a room. The evil chi muis will make the groom and hengtais do all sorts of silly tasks in order to secure the release of the bride.

So, we travelled all the way to a remote village by the name Ijok to rescue the bride from the evil chimuis. It’s a small village near Kuala Selangor. Ijok was on the spotlight for a while during the Ijok by-election.

The hengtais gathered at KF’s house early in the morning. On the night before, we received a text from KF asking us to be there early so that we can leave by 8am. When we arrived at 8am, KF was still in his t-shirt. -_-

The dress code of the day was white and black pants. Tie was provided by KF. We got a clip-on tie. All we need to do is just put the tie around our neck and zip the bugger up.

Ping – the Virgin – opening door for KF

The trip to Ijok took us about an hour. It could have taken a shorter time if some of us didnt get lost. Kf’s driver was so good until many of us couldn’t catch up with him.

Ijok – High School Alumni Building.

Road leading to KF’s wife house

One of the Malay houses on the streets

We were greeted by a few evil chimuis – 3 of them were wearing red.

Big Ass J was one of them.

We were immediately subjected all sorts of task but it was fairly easy. It was pretty civil as well. During Timothy and Ka Bien‘s wedding, the hengtais and chimuis were pretty hostile against each other.

Timothy & KaBien’s wedding

Once we got into the house, the chimuis gave us some quail eggs. Kiang and I were required to push the eggs up WK’s pants and cross it to the other side. Kiang and I each had one side. Thank god we can use our hands. Imagine if we had to use our nose.

Halfway pushing my egg, I stopped for a while to wait for Kiang to push his egg through the groin area.

Then when he gave up, I couldn’t find my egg anymore!! ZOMG!! I had to search every part of WK’s legs to find my egg. While doing so, I overhead Hen, who was also subjected to the same torture, screaming, “I’m having a hard on!!”. -_-

Fortunately, it popped out on the floor seconds later. phew

After that task was done, the chimuis made each of us wear a bra. Each bra had 2 letters stuck on it. We had to arrange them to form a word. KF got a panty to go with it.

Since there was an extra bra, we made the cameraman wear one as well.

I must say that the tasks were pretty easy and quick. KF’s last task was just to sing a song. No problem for KF since he’s a big fan of karaoke.

Within minutes, the evil chimuis allowed KF and the hengtais to see KF’s bride.

dearr you dont know what the chi muis had done to meee

The hengtais were relieved of their duty for while. KF and his wife had to go through the tea ceremony.

The hengtais and chimuis were fed roasted pork and drinks while waiting for the tea ceremony to end. We had to sit outside as the house was packed with people.

While enjoying our roasted pork, a middle aged lady suddenly fell on the floor. The lady appeared out of no where. Some of the hengtais rushed towards her. They stood next to her and screamed, “WHO IS THIS ARR????”.

Then one of KF’s wife’s relatives rushed out to check. He stood by her and screamed, “WHO IS THIS AR???”. The “WHO IS THIS” exchange went on for a few minutes before one of the chimuis came to pull her up.

Apparently, the lady had some mental problem and she stood outside the house for some time…

Since none of the hengtais helped the lady out, Kiang decided to be nice and offered her roasted pork. She rejected his offer. Poor Kiang.

After the tea ceremony was done, we headed back to KF’s parents place at Kota Kemuning. Lunch was served. Pictures were taken. We headed home to rest and recharge for the wedding dinner!