Month: May 2006

i was in KLCC today – i walked into one of the shops. a guy who was standing in my path, walked quickly to the glass display on my right. usually i do not pay attention to passer-bys, minding my own business (unless the passer-by happens to be an ah lian with bad dressing sense, i must look!) but so happened i glanced at the guy.
and i quickly walked away, far from the guy. i bit my lip, and hoped he didn’t see me as i stood before the displayed goods. as shock registered, i turned to see where the guy had gone.
and i stared at his back, just for a while, before i quickly left the shop.
oh the coincidence. i could kill myself…
just as i brought up the ghost of my ex in the last post, i happen to catch a glimpse of him again. after 4 years. can you believe it?
funny how people move on, yet how the people from the past can still affect you in a certain way.
i could also kill myself, because i wasn’t looking my best, lacked make up and all… so basically, i was looking like a hag. no way i could have gone up to him and say hi. no way did i want to notice every single detail of him and be this affected.
arrrrggghhh.
crap. i have to admit, he did look good. ;P
unlike the other ex (the one with the new gf who befriended me).
i’m so affected, man.
the memories of the relationship are coming back all over again.
sigh.
i am over him.
i am over him.
just that, he’s the yardstick i compare new boyfriends to.
being affected, doesn’t mean i’m not over him.
right?
4 years.
yup, the pain of the break up comes crashing back again.
time to go boozing.
come and join me.

(you know who won CLEO’s Most Eligible Bachelor 2006, right?)
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a break-up is often one of the hardest for some people to deal with, because of the years spent together, the effort and energy put into building and sustaining the relationship. some people patch it up after a while, realising that the person is “the one”, whereas some people remain in their depression due to the break-up, or some people move on.
you know how a girl is usually bawling her eyes out when there’s a break-up, wailing that her heart has been broken into pieces and she’ll never be able to survive singlehood without him, there’s no one good enough compared to him, etc..
they say girls deal with the pain differently, unlike the guys. there is a need to be heard, wearing their broken hearts on their sleeves, wanting to be comforted by their friends. there are some, of course, who keep it inside, not bothering the world with their sorrows.
how about the guys? it is usually the latter, i think. the world goes on as usual, they shrug away that closed chapter of their lives. it’s back to being a full-fledged bachelor with the boozing and the cruising. others may choose to sleep around, in desperate need for another girl to fill in the empty space the previous girlfriend left behind.
ok, i shouldn’t generalise. but i stand corrected, perhaps there are some girls who deal with heartache that same way, too. ;P
whatever it is, everyone should move on. but the question is, how soon?
when someone gets into a fresh new relationship within weeks of a break-up with the last partner, mouths start whispering, “oh my goodness, obviously that is the cause of the break up!” or “that bastard!” or “that bitch!” and you know how it goes la.
one of the reasons why outsiders may make such comments is because, the dumper must have said to the dumpee things like, “you know there’s no one else like you… you’re too good for me. maybe we can work things out in the future. who knows, maybe you are truly the one for me.” to appease the dumpee’s pain.
and the dumpee, still in shock from the break-up, may accept those words and feel a bit better.
until dumpee finds out that the dumper has found a new partner. within 2 weeks.
oh, the further shock. the pain. the betrayal. the reality. what the hell?
be it 2 weeks or 2 months, when is it the right time to jump into a new relationship? surely it’s subjective, depending on the coincidence of meeting someone appropriately better than the last. ;P does the dumper have to hide it from the dumpee? must dumper get dumpee’s permission to start a new relationship?
i do notice that dumpees from long relationships actually jump into a new relationship very quickly, and the next thing i know, 6 months later, they’re announcing their engagement or wedding. imagine the surprise. why the rush?
but anyway, back to the topic. is it too soon to be starting a new relationship within weeks or months of breaking up? can we differentiate between casual dating and flings from relationships, i.e. perhaps telling the dumpee that “the new ‘fling’ isn’t a relationship, dear…. i’m just trying to move on… i’m not ready for a relationship right after us…”, etc..
years ago, i had a really nosy friend . the first time she asked me if i was waiting to get back together with an ex. i told her, no, of course not, don’t be ridiculous. but you know the sucker in me at that time was thinking, “hmm… i’m not telling you, just in case i jinx my wish!”
the next few times she asked me, a few months later, i told her no, “please stop asking me that!”
i had gotten over him and having mutual friends can be so difficult, i tell you. anyway, i got so fed up, i asked her why did she keep asking me that.
her answer, “because you’re still single. so you must be waiting for him!”
just because i didn’t have a new boyfriend until much later, actually meant i was waiting for the ex? what logic is that? ;P