Shaking Off Suitors

Have you had desperate suitors before who wouldn’t leave you alone in peace? They couldn’t get the hint, could they, that you weren’t interested in them? Now tells you how to get rid of them – easy peasy!
Assuming you know they’re interested in you, or you have an inkling that they are interested:
1. Use that dreaded words, “You are like a brother/sister to me. You know that, don’t you?”
If they say that they don’t want to be a brother/sister to you, insist. “Aww, you see that? That’s what I like about you, you really are a brother/sister to me!”
Doesn’t make sense, I know, but damn it, you want him/her to get the hint, albeit gently. Repeat this on a daily basis.
2. Avoid going out with him/her just the both of you. You never know, he/she may think that you’re casually dating for the time being. Have group activities, if possible, and sit away from the person. Cruel? I don’t think so.
3. Answering sms and phone calls. Always act busy. Have an excuse in hand everytime he/she asks you out. No, that, “I can’t, I’m sorry. My dog is sick.” cannot be used on a daily basis. Use excuses like, “Oh, I’m going out with so and so later on. Can’t cancel last minute, sorry.” or “Hey, I’ll talk to you later, I’m going out now!” are plausible.
Just be sure to hang up immediately for the latter excuse. ;P
“I’m tired” is good, too. Polite people do not force tired friends to chat on the phone, unless they’re really desperate to hear your voice.
OR – get someone else to answer the phone, should you be out with friends. Pretend you’re at the loo or somewhere else.
4. Insult him/her at every opportunity. “OMG, you’re so f*cking fat!”
Cruel, but what the heck, you can’t stand him/her staring at you like a lovesick puppy whenever both of you are out with friends, can you?
5. Whine at every opportunity. “I’m not ready for a relationship. Seriously.”
Of course, if you’re seen with a new beau a few weeks later, say you’ve changed your mind.
6. Be direct. Ask, “Are you interested in me? I seem to have the feeling that you do.”
If the answer is in the positive, reply, “But I’m not. See ya!”
If it’s in the negative, “Phew! Thank goodness. I was worried it would ruin our friendship.” and go on and on about how wonderful he/she is as a good friend.
Personally, I go for #4 most of the time because sometimes they are so damn thick skinned and can’t seem to get the hint when I use #2, #3 and $5. #4 is usually my last resort. ;P
If you have better excuses, tell me!

24 thoughts on “Shaking Off Suitors”

  1. zoMg! 2nd! again! Haih I can tell u this…
    excuse 1 and 2 makes the person chase harder..
    try this.,.”I have crabs”..It might actually work!

  2. #2,#3 & #5 always use,but after the girl get to know that im single again,she’ll giv a try again and again…-.-”

  3. Personally I find #1 to be very effective. Just treat them like a brother and eventually they will get the hint. However, if they are still too blur then when they are blurting out their feelings just say firmly “sorry, but I don’t feel that way towards you etc” 😀

  4. there’s another way…!
    #7. Get a guy friend to act like your new bf! THen he might finally get the hint. haha.
    (And then later, he might wanna shoot down your ‘new bf’ out of jealousy also….)

  5. #7 get a guy to be ur BF, which INCIDENTALLY you are attracted to, then show him off in front of him, then you both may eventually get together and u get him to bugger off! talk abt kill two BIRDS “literally” 2 birds….. hur hur…

  6. I will start mentioning another guy in the conversation, and keep bringing his name up till he gets the hint that I’m probably more interested in this other fella than him!
    For example: “Oh yeah! That’s exactly what XXX said, he said blah blah blah”, “Oh, XXX would say this that this that”,”XXX would have done it better. . .”, “I went out with XXX and we did blah, and he said this, and I laughed and replied this, then we. . .”
    I used this on somebody, and I could see his face change every single time till he stopped bugging me 😉

  7. ChloeC: i know some guys who get very annoyed to be referred to as “brother” especially when they want to be more than just friends 😉
    electronicfly: o_O you tried that before??
    hazel & hur: the guy may not want to act as my BF lehhhh ;P
    Applegal: oh yeahhhhh that would irritate the guy!

  8. Version 2.0 of Appelgal’s method:
    Tell the irritating suitor that you like another particular guy and ask him (irritating suitor) for tips on how to court him. Guaranteed instant interest deflation.

  9. If you’re a girl, lift your elbow into the air, and start scratching it with loud noises. *Shuack shuack shuack*
    Inspired by drliew. XD

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