Tag: relationship advice

During the good old mIRC days (IRC = internet relay chat), couples formed as quickly as the bees are drawn by honey. One day you’ll be chatting to someone who is single, and a few weeks later, you see the ‘welcome’ and ‘quit’ messages declaring their status:

“bimbobum loves fatsoboy forever and eternity!”

Without putting a face to a name, it is hard to judge the person for who he or she is. Everything is typed out and everything is just a play of words. If the person happens to be born a casanova with a sweet mouth, there are always people who fall for the sweet talk.

Someone tried to woo me in mIRC once, suddenly coming up with some flowery poem that melted my heart. It was a fantastic one, I must admit. I really liked it, though I doubt the authenticity of it – I’m sure he didn’t write it. Nevertheless, his wooing didn’t work because I got “attached”.

It sounds stupid, when I think of it now. I had never met the person, but he started calling me, and who wouldn’t be flattered? I was studying in England during that time and he was working in KL. So yeah. ;P But after a while, I felt awkward and silly, and I lost interest. I asked to “break it off” and he almost died of a broken heart.
That was ages ago. In this time and age, everything seems to be workable. You read testimonies of love found on the internet, how they felt that he or she “was the one” after 3 years of emailing and chatting online. And when one of them finally makes a move to visit the person, they realise they have to get married – can’t live without each other!

How does it work? Good for them that the person didn’t turn out to be a psycho!

Can you actually call yourself a couple when you haven’t met the person? You don’t really know how the person is, although you’ve seen pictures. You’ve never spoken on the phone before, you don’t know he sounds like. All the both of you do is chat.

What do you think?

A friend once asked if I would ever consider having an affair with a married man. Truthfully, I said I’d rather not, but if I’m already too old to ever find someone to marry, and if it happens, maybe. He asked me why later, why not now?

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why should I?” I replied.

Surely I do still have some time and value (‘saham’) before it’s time for me to retire to the shelf as an old maid?

It is a scary thing to agree to holy matrimony and then realise later on that fidelity is something you cannot keep. You begin to wonder if s/he is the One you really want to spend your life with, the one you want to see first thing in the morning when you wake up.

My friend is married and for him to ask me this question, it frightens me. I pray he’s not found an eye candy he’d rather spend his money and time with, instead of his wife and kids.

Do you realise that the usual reasons given for having an affair are like these:
(i) I’m not happy;
(ii) S/He wasn’t the One, I felt obligated;
(iii) I deserve to be happy!

I know of someone who is in his 50’s and has a girlfriend almost half his age. His kids are half his age. I heard that all those years he considered divorcing his wife because he regretted marrying young and he thinks he won’t be able to stay with her for the rest of his life. Now that his kids are older and soon to be married off, he thinks that it is the right time to leave his wife for his own happiness.
“Before I die, I want to be truly happy.” He was quoted saying.

Back to my friend, he tells me that the hardest thing in marriage to remain faithful.

Even if it’s just a steady relationship, there are some out there who find it difficult to be faithful. What with the generation of FB’s (f*ck buddies) and the motto ‘never f*ck and tell’?
Go back to my post on ‘innOcent flirting‘ – the crush on the guy who has a girlfriend. He had the cheek to ask me if I’d consider ……………………… having fun with him behind his girlfriend’s back.

Inexperienced as I am, I never agreed to it. His philosophy is that they (he and his girlfriend) should get it out of their system before they should ever marry. They can sleep with everyone else but without the other partner finding out. “Better be restless now than when married.” he said.

What happened to true love forever and a lifetime?

Cross my fingers I don’t have to steal someone else’s husband or boyfriend in the future.

But I hear that the ratio of men to women is 1:3 or 1:4.

You’ve heard people using the term “I’m single, but not available” to describe their status. Can’t they just say that they’re seeing someone exclusively instead of being so indirect? geez. Is this considered playing to hard to get??

One of the reasons why you were attracted to your partner in the first place was the way she flirted with you outrageously – you fell for it. (suckerrr! ;P) You believed that she was just flirting with you and not in general.

You realise one day that you were pretty wrong. She flirts with every living thing she comes in contact with. You confront her/him but s/he denies it.

The next time it happens, you confront her/him and again s/he denies it. But it’s obvious to the friends around you that s/he was indeed flirting like there is no tomorrow!

There was once a friend of mine who went clubbing, together with his girlfriend and friends. She acted pretty weird through out the night, not really talking to him, but she spoke to everyone else and flirted like mad with friends and everyone around. (What, sulking in public? I hate people who do that!) There was hugging, she was sitting on laps, holding hands, whispering in ears and giggling, patting of backs, tickling…..and then….. and then… AND THEN
… the girl kissed this stranger in public.

IN PUBLIC.

a mega long kiss on the lips.

IS THAT APPROPRIATE???

mahai!!!!!!!!!!!!

But that girl! If i was her boyfriend …..

If my partner ever did that to me,
hmmmmmmmmppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Oh yeah, there was even some groping involved.

WTF!!!!

f*cking indecent, man!

Other posts on flirting but seriously irrelevant to this post:
innOcent flirting – my crush on someone’s boyfriend.
innOcent flirting 2 – which disappeared.

i never noticed before that he was that good looking.

so good looking, that i couldn’t help but stare at his profile as i sat beside him in the car.

i couldn’t help but enjoyed the view as he sat across me when we had lunch.

i couldn’t help it when my heart made little skips when his lips curled up into a smile.

or when he laughed, his eyes crinkled.

that til now, my heart continues to thump a rhythm of its own.

so bloody cute….

*mopes*

i’m such a sucker for cute faces.

i’m going to go and look at my dog.
+[edit @ 5am]+

this is actually related to this. i know i know, stay away and all. everything is just normal, for me. *takes a deep breath* snuffing out the crush was easy, because someone else came into the picture, a real sweetie, who reminds me of this attached guy. so my crush sort of shifted to him instead.

and then i suddenly had lunch with mr. attached. i had to stop myself from pouncing on him i had to try not to drool.

and then i heard him end the telephone conversation with his girlfriend with a “love you”.

thank goodness he adores his girlfriend.
BUT i can still drool over his good looks, right? *mopes*

there’s this guy whom i think is cute. cute when he grins, and he’s a sweetheart, too. he calls me up occasionally to chat and we do lunch sometimes. he sends an sms on and off, and i reply. ;P and he flirts with me un/intentionally that i can’t help but flirt in return.

i guess i have a *crush* on him, just a wee bit. a lil. ;P

but he’s attached. he has a girlfriend. =[

can or should i:
(a) continue to flirt with with him and let him flirt with me, without taking him seriously?
(b) stomp out that lil crush i have?
(c) stop flirting and mention his girlfriend during every chat we have?

[it’s verbal flirting only, there has never been any touchy-feely, body language flirting.]

is it wrong to have a crush on someone’s boyfriend?

some say it’s not. especially if both parties keep it at a distance.

p.s. before you throw virtual tomatoes at me, i do not steal people’s boyfriends. that’s a no no.