There are times when I am left alone at parties and have no choice but to mingle with strangers. There are several type of situations or people to deal with (but the list is not exhaustive, i think):
1. The strangers are a clique
By virtue of the fact that they are friends, they would be talking among themselves and reminiscing about their past together, leaving you out of the conversation like you’re part of the furniture. What can you contribute to their past?
2. The strangers speak a different dialect or language
They speak mandarin and you speak cantonese – it’s like chickens and geese trying to talk. They continue conversing in their dialect, leaving you out of place. Crowds like these, it makes we wish they could be polite to include you in, making you feel at ease instead of deliberately shutting you out. I thought parties are for socialising? These people make me think they’re unfriendly.
3. The strangers are quiet ones
You stand among them, while waiting for your host to come back and talk to you for a while. They sip their drinks and look around the room, not saying a word. You sigh, and decide that you have no choice but to make small talk with them before you decide to talk to yourself.
Some strangers will welcome your move to make small talk, while others may continue keeping quiet and not talking at all. WTF? It drives me up the wall when I come across people like that. I end up sounding like a runaway train going on and on, with my attempt to draw these people out of their shells. -_-
4. The friendly ones
They are the best, definitely. They can talk til kingdom come and make you feel like you belong. They make attempts to know more about you (without prying) and they brief you on the private jokes, if any, when they’re reminiscing about the past.
5. The ones who love the sound of their own voices
They go on and on and on and on and on talking about themselves or telling their stories and before you can interject with a contribution, they continue to go on and on and on. Imagine a group of such people? No one would be listening – everyone would be fighting to say something!
Introverts & Extroverts
Do you know whether you are an introvert or an extrovert?
If you rely on your friends or strangers to make the first move in chatting you up and doing most of the talking, I believe you’re an Introvert. Perhaps a bit passive when it comes to taking charge of the conversation. You only warm up to those you’re close with or with strangers, after a looooooong time (of several outings, perhaps).
If you enjoy being in the centre of attention, and usually start chatting with anyone and everyone, you’re definitely an extrovert. (Except that snooty ones are selective with who they want to talk to – rich or beautiful ones, and those who are important for networking purposes.)
However, being an extrovert doesn’t necessarily mean that he or she will always take the initiative of being the active talker. They have bad days, too, and once in a blue moon would want someone else to make the first move in starting a conversation. ;D
yahooo 1st!
yay, never seen you 1st before ;P
is it? heh..so dr.bimbo what about in terms of coupling for introverts and extroverts?
me, me, me Me MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
I’m an “active talker” *goofy grin*
AHLOKKOR = Introvert
bimbo: for ur introvert vs extrovert part, I have an answer for you. There is a degree of extrovertness in every person. Some people may be more inclined to be introverted, but however, that person may not be fully introverted, but is able to chat openly with his/her friends, thus, the level.
For example. If u give a scale of -5 to 5, the level of introvertness of a person who is about -1 may be a bit of an introvert and keeps their opinions and thoughts to themselves, however, when needed, is able to talk to people without much problems. For persons who are at the extremes of the scale, God be with you.
wah so ker lian being left alone in the party.
i seldom mingle with a stranger not if my friend intro them to me 1st because i dont have the desired level of charisma.
pokai: there is always one listener and one talker in a couple. but sometimes their roles are reversed – once in a blue moon. (coupling actually means “having sex”)
electronicfly: which one, you like the sound of your own voice? heheh ;P jk
AHLOKKOR: you introvert?? wow, i’d never would have guessed it!
karheng: yes la. but i’m referring to at a party when you’re surrounded by mostly strangers.
cnigel: not handsome enough, so nobody wants to talk to me kua. and my clothes were probably not designer labels as well. ;P
bimbo: nonono…thats what im asking…sex hahaha
i guess that’s why most introverts turn to the internet to engage in geeky conversations like this? eheheheh
any suggestions how to deal with such situations? i can just imagine dying of boredom in situation #5 if the person is not telling a funny story.
piffles…simple……..accidently drop the cup of water on the floor and create a situation. Someone will surely come talk to you then!
Otherwise, if u have spotted someone interesting or attractive and want the attention of that particular person, accidently brush shoulders when walking across and then u can say sorry, followed by a pickup line. Mwahahahaa…
One example…”Oh I’m so sorry, but you seem to have prominent shoulders, are you a swimmer?” heheheh
karheng: ahahahha you tried it before issit? ;P
Bimbo: sadly, i never had the chance to do something like that. I know some people in every party I go to..well then again….i have never attended many parties anyway..damn….
pokai: teach you about sex? a giver or a taker, passive or active lover? ;p
piffles: try karheng’s suggestion ;P
karheng: come come, we have a party ;P
‘i know some people in every party i go to’ wah karheng damn happening heh
karheng: so creative…next time if i need help in courting girls i ask u okay?
cnigel: must ask him got gf or not first. if don’t have means it never worked leh? ;P jk karheng 😉
bimbo/cnigel: i never picked up girls that way. I believe it’s always best to be yourself. You wouldn’t want to impress someone by being something/someone else right?
Haha bimbo. I refer to your post “Ulterior Motives” to reply this post. 😛