Whose Wedding Is It Now?

Every time I attend a Chinese wedding, I see that the couple’s guests are restricted to their closest friends. Instead, the majority of the guests are relatives and long lost relatives of their parents. And what do they do? They just sit and nibble on their food and frown when the couple’s friends become rowdy with their “YAM SENG!” cheers.
Some say that it is out of respect to invite ALL your relatives to the wedding. Parents want to invite them to announce the close of a chapter in their life, that their son or daughter is getting married and it is an occasion to celebrate.
Some say that it depends who is footing the bill. If parents are paying for the bulk of it, they are entitled to command the guest list. The couple will only be limited to 5-8 tables.
My mum said a wedding is a good reason for long lost relatives to meet up and to rekindle the family ties.
But it IS the couple’s wedding day, right, so why can’t they have all their friends celebrate with them, too?
Looks like you have to be filthy rich so you can invite all your friends!

12 thoughts on “Whose Wedding Is It Now?”

  1. Yeah.. I absolutely hate it.. I mean marriage involve the couple and I think the couple should have more say in it to who to invite etc…
    At least I think in future, I am gog to make sure I have the final say in my wedding!

  2. actually being a Chinese… we have no escape but to follow the customs. The traditional customs passed from generations to generations. Some old folks are just still sceptical.
    I wonder if my parents or her parents are sporting enough to let me have a simple-in-the-garden wedding and a light buffet at the same place for the closest of the closest relatives of both families. Ridiculous? Hmm…. quite a tough topic here eh.
    But then, it is the invited who will be paying for the dinner unless some are real stingy who gives a meagre angpau but brings the whole “football team” family. Sorry to say that but life is like that to some people. Don’t think of getting profit. Break-even is already a laugh.
    I remembered you posted sometime ago about the market rate for wedding dinner angpau. That one is really insightful post for this topic.

  3. no need to be so angry! got good and bad one! i say, invite all your relatives! *hehe* especially if they are business people.
    personally seen first hand – help ppl count gifts…most FAT gifts come from parents’ friends or relatives. *heehee*
    you can use the money to have a private gathering with only just friends. you can please both sides lor! Tadaaaaa!!!

  4. Yep, wedding banquet is to please the parents. If I have money, I will have two sessions. One wedding for parents and another cocktail party for friends 🙂

  5. anyway, the dinner is juz a must have ‘show’ for the relatives… a show once-in-a-lifetime merrr ….

  6. if only weddings didn’t have to cost a bomb, and if only people wouldn’t be so cynical with a simple one and if only those who weren’t invited wouldn’t be offended because they’re not considered very close friends to be invited. having to please everyone – it’s a difficult thing.

  7. eh, ter-salah kacau orang edi. I tot xes wrote the post somore.. so Ms Bum, when are we gonna get invites to your wedding har? pls don’t wear paperbag then la har…hehe

  8. I understand how it feels. I always wonder whether its ‘our’ affair or ‘our family’ affair. How can you set for a themed wedding when all ur guest are ah sous and ah peks who couldnt be bothered bout dress codes.

  9. see, now you know why it is lucky to be malays?! because their wedding cost rm500 max. some satay, nasi lemak, and air syrup:)

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