The Client Part 2

Previously i wrote about Mr. S who was such a painful asshole. I managed to extract his Probate Cert speedily and get him off my back. Hopefully, he will pay our bill as soon as possible so i can close that file.
Today, i had the privilege of dealing with Mr. C, another difficult client. Mr C is 10 times worst than Mr. S. Actually Mr. C is not exactly our client to start with, his boss is the one who pay our bill. Mr.C is his boss’s golden boy whom his boss entrusted to oversee this matter and to work with us. Mr.C has this impression that since his boss is paying our fee then we are his slave and he can treat us like one. Every so often, he criticised our work and give very insulting remarks. One time in meeting, he told my senior and me that…

“Actually, i am no difference from you lawyers. I can do your job also if i wear a white shirt and black pants.”

Another time after discussion he said that…

“Well if you are a beautiful woman, i would stay a bit longer to talk cock with you. cock.”

Stupid joke, nobody laughed except him. His attitude problem has gotten the best of my master whom is well known of his cool and tolerence way of working. My master blew his top and told Mr.C to fuck off. Hence, the file fall upon my senior and my lap.

He once asked for my mobile phone number…

C: “eh, Give me your mobile phone lar.”

me: “hahhaha, sorry that is against our office policy.”

C: “But just now i call you, you are not in.”

Of cause lar you stupid idiot, i just finish meeting with the Official Receiver (Official Reciever is a government officer who takes over the Insolvent Company). Be sensible a bit to call me 45 or an hour after the meeting.

me: “Can one, i am always in the office this week.”

C: ” So i take it as a No”

me: ” hahahhaha…”

C: “No need to be scare one lar. It’s not like i am interested in you.”
me: “Office Policy lar but you have my boss’s number mah. You can call him if there is anything.”

C: “If you don’t want just say no lar.”

me: “NO!!!”

C: “FINE!!!”

Cantonese blog

wah!! chin kei yat, ngo tai dou yat kor bo log yong kong tong wah lei blog wor! sai lei!! kam dou bei hui lam dou!!
yi kar ngo dou yiu si har yong kong tong wah bo log. mmmm wah hou kan larn ah. kan larn tou emm chi yang yong ah!!
kah mai yi kor bo log ah, hou tou chau wah ah. ngo ping si yong kong tong wah tou hou toh chau wah, tiu nia seng la, ku ku pet la, ham ka ling la, lan ah hai ah *bish bish bish*
ok la, kau lah, joi kong, ngo geh website mou kuai lou yiu tuk la.
Simple Translation: (Some words are omitted)
wah!! Few days ago, I found this blog. It uses Cantonese!
Now I’m trying to blog in Cantonese. wah, it’s tough man!
Furthermore, this blog swears alot. Usually, I swear alot too!
Ok, I better stop now, before I lose some Causasian readers!
P/S: this post sounds funnier if you understand Cantonese.

Sharing is Caring, yes?

Its been a long time i’ve posted anything here. Partially due to the absence of any new remix by DJ Rych. Recently, I’ve found a great remix across the net. Hence, I decide to share it here with everyone. Fortunately, I was permitted to distribute the track by the producer, DJ Doboy. Please visit his site for more kick-ass tracks. For the meantime, enjoy this one first.
Get the torrent here
Info regarding the torrent can be found here
Remix Info
DJ Doboy – Trancequility Vol.30 (1:19:50), 109mb
01. fire and ice – samoa
02. firewall – kilimanjaro
03. mk-s – illuminate (mind one remix)
04. airscape – sosei (original mix)
05. voi – journey to paradise (mind one remix)
06. lasgo – surrender (ronald van gelderen remix)
07. alphazone – immortal (ceylon remix)
08. jx – restless
09. michael woods – solex (close to the edge) (vocal mix)
10. filo and peri – i 95
11. eric lidstroem – lightfields
12. solid globe – sahara
13. questia – crystal clouds (vincent de moor original mix)
Please leave the torrent on to seed the distribution. Its totally all about free-sharing and generousity 🙂 I did my part in sharing it here, you should also do yours by at least providing some bandwitdh alright? Enjoy the music! I know I did!

The Biggest Turn Off Ever

My friend, X has a girl who has a crush on him. Unfortunately, not hot.
Me: ehhh…go for it man!!
X: Dont want la.
Me: aiyah, cover the face, fire the base man!!
X: mmmm… i might need to turn off the lights as well if i do that.
Me: imagine making out with her plus the fondling etc etc. then when everthing gets guys get naked.
Me: then you feel something wet and soft.. the smell is a little bit pungent..but nevermind.. you proceed to lick it..mmm salty…
Me: you find it hairy and wet.
Me: then you realise it her hairy and sweaty ARMPIT BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!
X: EUW!!!!!!!!!!

Porcupine Meat!

In parts of Africa, porcupines are eaten as a form of bush meat.
I got this from a comment in the BBC news website 😀

Porcupines are the most delicious and tender of all game animals. Do not skin it as the skin is the tastiest part (1-2″ thick) and is 60% of the whole animal (rather like crackling).
Pluck out (carefully) all the large quills
Either drop into or pour over boiling water
Scrape the remaining quills (feathers) off
(The outside skin will resemble a suckling pig and the feet will closely resemble a human hand… take no notice)
Remove the feet/entrails/head
Remove the scent glands at the rear carefully (very important!)
Stuff the inside with stuffing and rice and dried fruit mix
Leave in fridge overnight
Grease the outside of the skin
Bake in the oven until golden brown and cooked
Save one of the hands in a jar for your guests when they query what type of animal they are eating and watch the reaction!
Derek Coggon, Entebbe, Uganda

Forever Young…

I am 25 going 30 soooon (*scary*), yet there are people who still think that i am a college student. No, i don’t have baby face or extremly good complexion. The other day, i went to inspect a house that my parents bought in Damansara with the Developer’s officer (O).
O: Hi, i am O. You are here for the inspection.
Me: Ya.
O: Where is your father? Is he here?
Me: No. I am inspecting the house on his behalf.
O: Ooooh…
He then gave me the “you are just a kid” look.
O: So, which college are you from?
Me: Taylor’s
O: What are you doing there.
Me: I did my A-level there.
O: did? How old are you?
Me: hahahha…over 18, don’t worry. I can sign all the papers on my father’s behalf.
O: Hahahahaha…sure or not? What are you doing now lar?
Me: I am a lawyer.
Suddenly there was a moment of silence.
Me & O: Hahahahhahaha….
Do i look like a college boy trying to dress up as a working adult ar? Now, i know why the salesperson in the shopping mall never hand me any brouchers or try to talk me into buying stuff from them, which is good. hehehehe…
However later that day, i went to withdraw money from Maybank DJ. A little boy was standing beside me…
Mother: Ah boy, don’t kacau (disturb) uncle.
WTF!!!…UNCLE AR!!! I am 25 lar…NOT YET A UNCLE AR!!!

Gosh, it’s thursday?

I had a terrible day.
1st of all, I woke up and thought that it was a Monday. Thank God, I knew its 1st September so it did not affect my work.
Then again, I overslept and woke up at 8:55am. FUCK!!! I rushed to the toilet to wash up.
“NO PROBLEM, FRANK! Your office is just 10 mins from your place and the boss doesn’t come in till 10am.”
I left home about 9:10am, arrived at the office at above 9:20am. When I pushed open the office door….
FUCK!!! My Boss was already there AND he was looking at some files on table. So, I hide my bag and pretend I just came back from breakfast.
“Good morning, Boss.”
“Frank, you finish chambering already right. That mean, you are gonna be in the office very often. Nah…here is some more work for you.”
FUCK, FOUR BIG FILES. Ok, no complain lar because the files I get, the more I will learn.
While my boss was briefing me on the new work, suddenly….
ARRRRRRRRGH…stomach ache.
“Excuse me Boss, I stomach-ache.”
I ran in and out the toilet five times in the morning. It must be the DAMN Curry rice I ate last night. I didn’t do much work in the morning because most of the time, I was in the toilet. When I wanted to bring some cause paper to read in the toilet, the PA barked at me…
“FRANK!!! That’s disgusting!”
I didn’t want to go out for lunch because I had to draft a super urgent letter for the Boss but my senior insisted that I should eat. Hence, we ate in the coffee shop. I didn’t enjoy my lunch every much.
After lunch, I receive a fax from the opponent. The content of the letter said that there one of my matters was mentioned today but we were not there.
I check the court diary. FUCK, someone wrote the wrong date in the diary. I wanted to kick the person but i didn’t because the matter was adjourned to another date. THANK GOD!!!
Later on, while I was browsing through the files and I found that one of the applications I made and filed was missing. The file copy was missing as well and we were suppose to serve an unsealed copy to the opponent 14 days after we filed the application. AND THE LAST DAY IS NEXT MONDAY!!! FUCK!!!
I told my boss about it and also to get his permission to go Court. I drove like a mad man down the Court. When I arrived, it started to rain, heavily. FUCK!!! I was soaked when I got to the Court building. The court staff as usual was not very helpful when I told them that I NEED to extract the SEAL copy NOW. All they could say is…
So, i explained to them again and they said,
DAMN DUMB right? I explained to them one fucking more time, stressing the words “SUPER URGENT” and “MUST EXTRACT IT TODAY” and “I SHALL BE VERY REGRATEFUL”. All, they said was,
“Datang balik besok boleh? (Can you come back tommorow)”
I knew it, they want to “drink coffee”. No way, i am gonna give in. But, i didn’t give up, i explained to them again and again and again…finally, the lady in charge was annoyed by me. She said
I “TUNGGU-ed” for 2 hours (that’s considered very fast already). Thank God I got the seal copy. However, all court staff hated me now because I was very whiny and pushy. They did not like whiny and pushy people; they like to be worshipped like a God. Sorry, Ali and Ahmad, i want to worship you but not today.
Anyway, I got back to the office and the that CIBAI person came up to me and said,
“Hey, Frank. If you got problem with me, you just tell me. No need to report to the Boss. Understand!”
I gave him a “FUCK YOU” smile.
MAHAI, I got told off from him for helping him clearing his shit before it blew up in my face, all the lawyers’ face and the boss’s face and ESPECIALLY HIS face!!! AND when the whole thing blew up, who is he gonna point finger at?
Then, who is gonna get the big stick from the boss?
But, who is gonna get fire?
P.S. I feel much better after having a Bleach (a famous japanese anime) marathon. So, i decided to forgive him now. YOU LUCKY BASTARD, i forgive you!!!