Month: November 2006

Legal Life part II

For the past 4 weeks, I haven’t had time to do anything else than working. I am currently involved in one full blown litigation case.
My department have been churning out letters, bundles and affidavits like a biscuit factory. We’ve been chasing deadlines like mad, working till 10PM to 1AM daily, 7 days a week. Fighting a full blown litigation case with tight deadline is no easy task, it’s almost impossible to handle one case without any form of assistance from anyone.
My case was fixed for hearing few days back. We had to work past earthly hours for it.

On the eve of the hearing of my case, my secretary tendered her resignation. GIVING 1 WEEK NOTICE. In her resignation letter, she said that she has just been offered a position in the government sector. In addition to that, she said she’ll stay on until 20th November 2006 to sort things out. However, on the next day, I found a young Malay girl sitting on my secretary’s desk. The girl said she’s my temporary secretary.

Me: Where is my secretary?
Girl: I dont know, No one came this morning. I am your temporary secretary.
Me: How temporary is temporary?
Girl: Umm..1 month.
Me: O_O
Girl: I have no experience.
Me: /(*O*)\

I dont have the time to teach her!

Since I had to work late to prepare for the case the following day. I text my Dad saying, “I skip dinner. Big case tomorrow”.

He replied with, “I skip dinner”.

I felt quite puzzled. Wondering why is he telling me that he’s skipping dinner when I already told him that I will be skipping dinner.

Hours later,. my boss said, “CL, Why did you message me telling me that you’re skipping dinner and you have a big case tomorrow?”

Me: …. Err.. O_O”

Just ‘Cos I Don’t Want To Talk About It In the Open Doesn’t Mean I’m Narrow-minded

Remember those high school days when some rascals (the boys) would tease some prim and proper girls about sex? They’d exaggerate stories, within their restricted knowledge, and say something like, “The guy will come up to you and grind himself on you from behind, and then touch your ‘nen-nen’ (breasts) and you will like it.”
The common reaction from the girls would be to huff and say, “Euww, you are so disgusting! You’re dirty-minded!”
Fast forward to today, and try saying that same thing to the girls. One of them would probably say, “Yes, and then I’d elbow him right in his nuts, turn around as he lets go of my lovely boobs, squeeze his nuts and tell him, ‘Try that again and you’re going to be a eunuch.’ “
Nope, that don’t scare us no more. ;P

Continue reading Just ‘Cos I Don’t Want To Talk About It In the Open Doesn’t Mean I’m Narrow-minded

Signages in Malaysia

Did you catch AXN’s The Amazing Race Asia last week? The first stop was in our very own city, Kuala Lumpur!
A couple (I can’t remember which one) got lost on the way to a go-karting place in Shah Alam, which hampered their chances of being one of the few to complete the challenge early.
I actually laughed, not because they were stupid, but I could not help but think of how wonderful the road signages in Malaysia are. Have you noticed the strategic location of the signages? It’s either AT the junction where you have a split second to decide whether to turn left or right or go straight, OR you’d just miss it and end up in port klang when you had intended to go to Balakong in the first place.
If not at the junction itself, sometimes you are lucky if it’s 50metres right before the turning. Good grief! Why can’t it be 1km or 500m just before the junction AT THE LEAST?
An example is the Subang exit from the NKVE (New Klang Valley Expressway – right?).

Got to pay the toll charges first – by cash, Touch’N’Go or Smart Tag?

Continue reading Signages in Malaysia

TRAINED

Three Australians and three Englishmen are going to a football match.
At the train station, the three Australians each buy a single and watch as the three Englishmen buy just one ticket between them.

“How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the Australians.

“Watch and learn,” answers one of the Englishmen.

They all board the train. The Australians take their respective seats but all three Englishmen cram into a loo and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor arrives to collect the tickets. He knocks on the loo door and says, “Ticket please.”

The door opens slightly and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Australians are mightily impressed, and after the game, to save money, they decide to repeat the Englishmen’s trick.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, however, the Englishmen don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asks one perplexed Australian.

“Watch and learn,” says one of the Englishmen.

The train departs, the three Englishmen cram into a loo, and the three Australians pile into another one nearby. Shortly afterwards, one of the Englishmen sneaks out of the loo, knocks on the door of the loo in which the Australians are hiding, and says, “Ticket please…”

Where is the Hidden Camera?

Curse them peeping toms who have nothing better to do!
I’ve developed a phobia or paranoia (which is which?) that I check the cubicle carefully before I do my business, at public toilets.
I check for hidden cameras, you know. I look around cautiously before I pull down my pants.

Can it be here?

Or here?

Or here?
Where the hell are these cameras hidden? Are there any peeping toms here who are willing to share their secrets with us?
Because I am really concerned about the world (well, just www.xes.cx readers, actually) knowing how the bum of bimbobum’s truly looks like. ;

Continue reading Where is the Hidden Camera?

www.xes.cx statistics

There are 1526 entries with more than 16078 comments.
xes posted 1031 entries, followed by frank_omatic with 204 posts and bimbobum with 124 posts! bimbobum is catching up with frank!
There are 6 posts about toilets
Out of the 1526 entries, only 1 entry was made in Chinese (or rather Romanji Chinese)
There are 5 Dear bimbobum posts, please send her your problems/fan mails or so on at bimbobum at gmail
There are more than 6 mixes produced by DJ rych (one of the guestbloggers of this website) for www.xes.cx. Unfortunately, only 1 song is still available on the net – xes.cx clubbing system.mp3
1 is the number where xes.cx has only been featured in a local magazine how sad.
I love reading all my 2003 entries. Those were the days..

Hey Willy Willy…

Check this out, the game is kinda cute.

http://www5.goyk.com/aw333sas0903/misc/condomgame.swf
Now this is how it work :-

Use the left and right keys to control your willy.
Shoot using the space bar.
Hitting a condom get’s you 10 points.
If you don’t hit the condoms you will get a baby.
3 babies and you’re out!

I tried twice and always get baby. Thank God, my willy is ok.

Wall’s Mini Hazelnut

I craved ice-cream, but am on a diet.

I bought Wall’s Mini Hazelnut because it’s:

a) affordable
b) maybe i would be able to control my consumption by eating just that small piece
c) and still satisfy my craving for ice-cream.
However, to my dismay:-

i) IT’S SMALL!!!!
ii) I AM NOT A KID. one piece of that isn’t enough for me!
iii) i did not like the taste.

F*CK! I should have just bought a Magnum instead if I didn’t want to stick to my diet.