Author: bimbobum

When Ah Ming was a little boy in primary school, he was very cheeky. He was soooooo cheeky but his classmates adored him because he was quite a clever little boy. Sometimes, they did laugh at him because he was always scolded by the teachers.
One day in Bahasa Melayu (Malay language) class, the teacher asked the class,
“What is ‘exaggerate’ in Malay? Can anyone tell me?”
Ah Ming raised his hand.
“Teacher, teacher! I know!”
“The answer is, ‘Talk Cock’. TALK COCK IS EXAGGERATE!”
The class laughed and the teacher got annoyed.
“Wrong, Ah Ming! What sort of language is that! The answer is, ‘membesar-besarkan‘. That is ‘exaggerate’ in Malay.”
“But….. but….” Ah Ming protested.
“COME HERE!” the teacher gestured to Ah Ming and proceeded to rotan (cane) his backside.
“Now go and stand outside under the sun for the whole period!”
Ah Ming was so angry.
The next day, he approached the teacher and said, “TEACHER, YOU ARE WRONG! I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!”

Continue reading Talk Cock

“I will grab my handphone with me… Oh, and wallet! And passport!”

That was my friend’s final answer. She was telling us about her nightmare, that she had to escape from the condo she was staying, which was slowly catching fire. It was just a dream!

It made me think, that they always tell us to leave all your personal belongings to save yourself should a fire break out. But what if you had enough time, what would you take with you?

“Oh, but I would have to quickly put on my bra and panties as well, sh*t!” She continued.

“So difficult, to be sleeping without undergarments! At desperate times, I guess I have no choice but to run out of the house with everything jiggling here and there!”

o_O

So, questions:

(1) If your house caught fire (*touch wood!*), what would you bring along with you, if you only have 2 minutes to get out of the house?
(2) As a girl, would you worry about being bra-less, and all you are wearing is a thin white T-shirt and boy shorts?
I think I would put on my bra or wrap myself in a towel so that the nipples won’t get in the way of the fire. ;

Browsing through Friendster on a boring evening, I noticed that some friends have filled their photo capacity to its maximum, i.e. 50 photos with their lovey-dovey couple pictures.
My goodness, I was stunned! Sure it’s good to be in love and an extremely lucky situation to have found your soulmate, but is there a need to publicise your LURVE??
OK, so maybe I’m just jealous that I’m not photogenic enough. *SIGH*

If it was a creative picture, like this one, I would agree that it’s a LURVELY picture to show!
–
So, I decided that I should spice up my boring friendster profile as well. It’s time i find LURVELY pictures of myself and ex-boyfriends.
I dug deep into my hard disk of memories and found and old picture of us.

WHAT? You didn’t know that frank_omatic and I dated way back in 1998? We were a LURVELY couple, you know! Ask xes and everyone else who knows us, we were inseparable! And every year, at the same date, we had to take a picture together to publicise our LURVE for each other.
[so, who do you think was the clingy one?]

Continue reading Overdose of LURVELY Pictures

Frank_omatic wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else…
One day, Frank_omatic got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But
the girl said NO.
Frank_omatic said, “I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you
pick it up.”
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend… So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, “Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down.”
So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.
She responded, “The bastard used coins!”
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting
screwed!
p.s. so clever one, Frank_omatic!

[Since the theme this week is DOGS, not CATS. ;D]
This is Bonny.

This is Daxxx.

Last month, a friend and her family were car-jacked on the highway to Penang from KL. Their car, belongings and money were taken. They asked to keep the dogs but the hijackers were adamant about taking the dogs as well.
However, they are wondering if the dogs may have been released by the bastards or sold somewhere.
Details are vague, though they do hope they can recover the dogs.
Any ideas? Do contact us. It’s a long shot, but it doesn’t mean we’re not here to try and help. 😉

The other day i sent a sms to my friend to wish him happy birthday:
From me:
Happy Birthday! Many many happy returns and hope you haven’t been drunk celebrating! Bimbobum.
His reply (a few minutes later):
Where are you working now?
My reply:
At XYZ company still! But am on leave today, so I just woke up.
His reply:
Wow, so nice, just woke up huh! you must be excited…
My reply:
Wow back! you reply very fast! excited about what??
His reply:
Fast? Maybe because i use both hands to type… so what are you doing today?
My reply:
Dunno. Chill a bit, i guess. did the gang celebrate your birthday last night? a lot of parties?
His reply:
Haha. That’s for me to know and for you to find out.
Wah, at that instant, I felt that he was being obnoxious! I was just being polite asking about birthday celebrations, why was he being so defensive, seeing how we were OK sort of close! So I stopped sending him messages and went on with my day.

Continue reading Wrong Number

I was eagerly gushing about the boyfriend to my mother, sister and brother the other day, excited that he was going to whisk me away for a romantic holiday. While my mother and sister put on their make up at the dressing table, I continued to gush on about him being sweet and extremely attentive, and most of all, I felt like he was THE ONE.
My mother, sister and brother were rather quiet and not very responsive. Occasional grunts and ‘mmhmm’s’ were the only signs that they were barely paying attention to me.
After gushing on for about half hour to a passive audience, I finally blew my top and screamed at them.
“What is wrong with you people?! Here I am, so happy about being back together with him, and you guys cannot even be happy for me?!”
It was then my mother decided to tell me the reason behind their passiveness. Upon visiting a fortune teller, it was told that getting back together with this ex-boyfriend was a mistake. He was just using me for evil purposes and should we actually get married, we would not last long. It would be a cold marriage where he’d have a mistress and I would be left alone at home, clueless.
“You have to break off the relationship NOW. Don’t go on that holiday with him, or you will never escape.” my mother advised me.
It felt like the beginning of a horror story.

Wait a minute.
Why this ex-boyfriend? What fortune teller?
F*cking hell. It was just a bloody nightmare I had last night! Of all people, I dreamt of my ex??
FYI, I still adore my crush like mad, despite the distance. ;P
And why are you still reading this post? Aren’t you supposed to be at William’s tonight for the gathering?! GO!!! 😉

What is ‘road rage‘? There is no fixed definition, but the mere acknowledgement of the phrase brings to mind what YOUperceive to be road rage.
It usually involves aggressive behaviour on the road and an act of violence, but does the intention to cause hurt become an important element to be considered?
Rude gestures, insistent honking, tailgating, and running other drivers off the road are a few examples. Should you be in the position of the victim, you’d be pissed mad, right? But what gives YOU the right to be the bully, then?
AAM merely explains road rage as “an incident whereby a motorist makes another motorist angry. An angry driver, when provoked resorts to violence.”
It could be classfied as a mental disorder in the United States, they’re still deliberating on that.
Sometimes I think it boils down to stupidity and the low IQ the driver has. Sure we get angry whenever some idiotic driver before us drives at 10 km/h when we’re in a rush, or cuts into our lane and almost driving us off the road in the process.
DOES IT GIVE YOU THE BLOODY RIGHT TO STOP YOUR CAR, GET DOWN AND WHACK THE DRIVER TILL HE DIES OF A CONCUSSION??

Continue reading Road Rage

Would you prefer the olden days, when the men didn’t have boxers, briefs or thongs?
OR

Continue reading Men’s Underwear