Author: Frank_omatic

I am so damn tired. I didn’t sleep last night and ran around the court for fucks. I bumped into Siew Lee and her colleagues,Cynthia, this other guy (sorry, i forgot what is your name), and a CLP coursemate, Ricky. It was fun running around the Masjib Jamek Court with them, filling our petition papers. Although, we didn’t manage to finish filling them today.
Anyway,Hey, anyone wanna go for Putrajaya Court visit? I am going there soon to serve one of my paper to the Attorney General. Let me know, cause i don’t wanna go there alone.
Ok, story time! Today, I took a taxi to the Masjid Jamek Court in the afternoon. My taxi driver was an indian man. Like any other taximan, at first he talk to me about the traffic jam and the Arab Tourist who can’t differentiate RM5 and RM50.
Then he changed topic and said “Brader, you lawyer kan,”
“Yes but not yet. I am training to be one now,”
“So, u chambering student lar.”
“ya ya how u know ar (note:not many taxi driver know what is chambering student) ”
“I used to work for LC & co as a dispatch.”
“Huh! LC & co? U know my friend, CM or not.” i asked the taxi man.
“No lar. Is he fat ar?”
“No but he is not very tall about 170m and he is a chinese,”
“Don’t know him lar. I left in 2000.”
“Why u leave lar, brader? LC & Co not good?”
“No lar, LC is damn good. She is a kind boss and even send my family to Australia. All expenses paid by company. Then this chairman (i think he meant partner) joined. He wanted me to come in and work after 6pm. Crazy lar!”
“so, u quit lar”
“ya, i tell him to fuck off and became a taxi driver!”
Then, he went on and on about LC for… i don’t know …about 5 to 8 mins cos we were stuck in the lunch hour jam. After that, he asked me for legal advice on his credit card debt.
“eh, brader i got this matter lar. Can ask you ar?”
“Can can but if it doesn’t help. Plz don’t charge me extra for the taxi fare.”
“hahahaha…ok” (note:he must be thinking i am lame then…hahahahha)
Then when i reached my destination.
“Holy! I only have RM3 (the fare was RM4). U got change for RM50 ar?”
“Aiya brader, we are friend now. I give u RM1 discount lar”
“Ok ok, next time u pass by my office taxi stand and if i am waiting for taxi,You don’t go fetch anyone else but me, okay?”
“ok ok” (note: I doubt he can remember me tommorow lar..hehehehe)
P.s. if the sentence is fragmented or grammatically unsound, don’t get upset. okay? Just read it as if you are reading a mangrish book.

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different.
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

One night, I went yam cha (drink tea) with my friend NC, AT, and YM in SJ. We were happily chatting about AT’s wedding when suddenly out of no where a blind man stood next to us, begging for money. All of us kept quiet the moment we saw him, pretending that we were not there. However that damn bugger just wouldn’t budge. He stood there pitifully, hoping that some kind young man will spare him a change or two. Seeing this, I waved my hand in front of him, gesturing to him that we are not interested in making any “donation” to him.

“Frank, why are you doing that?” NC asked

“Do what?”

“Waving your hand. He cannot see wei, He is blind!”

“Ssssssssssh,” AT and YM quickly stopped NC because the man was still behind us.

Finally one minute later, the fellow moved on the next table.

Therefore, we continued our conversation. Queerly 15 minutes later, that damn beggar came back to our table and stayed for approximately 5 minutes!

“Why on earth did he come back to our table?” NC said in anger

“Dude, the fellow is blind lar. He cannot see!” I said and everyone busted out in laughter.

Boy, I sure feel bad making fun of that blind beggar. However, I did notice that that beggar knew where all the tables are even without anyone guiding him. He could be faking it.

Sorry for the infrequent update since xes left for Korea. I had been busy attending interviews as a chambering student. There is nothing interesting about my interviews. The first one was the hardest. The partner interrogated me for one and half hour, and I never heard from him ever since. The rest was just normal. However, the interview I attended earlier today was so far the best. 3 senior lawyers (A, B, C) of the firm interviewed me. I thought to myself “Oh shit, I am so gonna die”. They took turns looking at my CV and cover letter. Then A studied me up and down.
“Do you know that you can only dress black and white in Court?” A asked
“Yes sir, I will take note of that,” I answered
“B, you want to ask him anything?” A turned to B
“Aiya, no need lar. All the interviewees surely say they are hardworking and determined learner…blah blah, all those usual answers. Boring lar. We test him on his knowledge,” B said
I started to get a bit nervous here because I did not remember much of what I had done in CLP. Die die die…
“I think we should ask him something harder than that,” C told his colleague.
So, C asked me a few trick questions. Luckily, i did a thorough research on the firm so i was able to answered all of it.
“He is okay. I like him,” C said with a smile on his face.
“Okay, my turn now,” B said while leaning forward. Suddenly, A showed my CV to B, pointing something to him.
“Eh, look at this. Ask him about that”, A said to B
All of them started to laugh, altogether, at the same time, with their eyes glued to my CV. Now, that seriously made me worries.
“Relax lar, don’t get too nervous,” B said to me
“Ok, Sir,” I adjusted my sitting position.
B paused for awhile then said “what is your favourite football team?”
Again, A and C started to laugh.
Now, i know they are laughing at the paragraph in my CV that reads “keen on participating and watching football” My friends had the same reaction when they saw that.But, none of my last interviewers asked me about that. They were only interested in the books that i had read and the music that i listened to. Shit!!! Okay, look like i couldn’t get the job so i decided to just play along with them.
“Manchester United fan for life, sir,” I answered shakily.
“Ask him about his football skill,” C said to B
Now,that question is the hardest question i ever have to answer in an interview because i have not really play football for a long time. In addition to that, although i like to play football, i sucks big time in it.
“Ok, just tell him the truth”, I told myself
So i said “Sir, i am not a very good player. I play football for fun. I only play football on weekdays where there is no live matches on TV, to shake off my football addiction”
“Nevermind, we shall see later. We like you and we are offering you the job. Congratulation,” B said while holding out his hand
“Thank you, sir,” I shaked his hand firmly.
YES! I am no longer an unemployed graduate. I accepted the job straightaway because of the friendly working environment and the training that they provide. I will start next Wednesday. Before then, I have to go shopping for more white shirts and black pants…maybe new underwears as well.

Can anyone tell me the difference between “honesty” and “intergrity”?
Dictionary.com defines intergrity as “Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code;The state of being unimpaired; soundness;The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.” Whereas, honesty is defined as “the quality or condition of being honest; integrity;truthfulness; sincerity.”
If someone ask you to choose between honesty and intergrity as a value in life, which one will you choose?
Seriously, i can’t tell the difference between the both of them. If i choose to be an honest person, i choose to be a person with integrity person as well. What is the difference!!!
Is honesty and intergrity like the picture below? It might look as it is but if you turn it around, it is completely different.

Since there was no official account of the how Arafat die,some said that he was poisoned, other said that he died of cancer but Jerusalem Newswire said that he died of AIDS!
Homosexual Arafat said dying of AIDS
By Jerusalem Newswire Editorial Staff
November 7th, 2004
JERUSALEM – Based on the symptoms Yasser Arafat is suffering from, as
well as accounts of his rampantly homosexual past, political pundits and
medical experts believe the blood-soaked Muslim terror chief is dying
from complications related to the AIDS virus.
Arafat has been hospitalized outside of Paris for more than a week with
blotchy skin, a low platelet count that is affecting his immune system,
decreased mental capacity and a considerable loss of weight – all
indicators of the presence of AIDS.
His homosexual tendencies have been attested to by numerous sources,
including a now infamous set of surveillance videos taken by his former
communist allies in Romania showing Arafat in perverted encounters with
his bodyguards.
Though he reportedly slipped into a terminal coma last week, Arafat’s
wife is said to be keeping him connected to life support long enough to
gain access to the vast wealth he had horded over the years.
“Palestinian” officials in Ramallah suggested his death would be
officially announced on Tuesday to coincide with the Muslim holy day of
Lailat al-Kader, when, according to Islamic lore, the Koran was given to the
Prophet Mohammed.
Israel has stated Arafat would not be allowed burial in Jerusalem or
Judea and Samaria, but have granted tacit approval to inter the “father
of modern terrorism” in the Gaza Strip.
Meanwhile, PA Prime Minister Ahmed Qureia and former premier Mahmoud
Abbas work to secure their positions atop the “Palestinian” power
structure by seeking unity with terror groups such as Hamas.
Arafat, however, has reportedly named openly anti-Israel PLO official
Farouk Kadoumi as his successor.
All signs point to AIDS
“We know [Arafat] has a blood disease that is depressing his immune
system. We know that he has suddenly dropped considerable weight –
possibly as much as one-third of all his body weight. We know that he is
suffering intermittent mental dysfunction. What does this sound like?”
Israel Insider quoted former White House speechwriter David Frum as asking.
Writing for National Review Online, Frum blasted the mainstream media
for their “bias” in refusing to question whether or not Arafat was
infected with the killer disease.
Frum is only the latest of a growing number of political pundits and
medical experts that have speculated Arafat is dying from the AIDS virus.
Intelligence analyst John Loftus told ABC News last month that the CIA
had known for years Arafat was infected with AIDS, and it was largely
due to this fact Washington had urged Israel not to eliminate him.
“It was deemed better to have Arafat discredited as a homosexual,”
Loftus said.
Israel Insider notes that while “homosexuality is rife in the Arab
world, it is at least officially consider a sin and a crime, and regarded –
especially in fundamentalist circles – as a mark of great shame and
depravity.”
Roaring tiger
Allegations regarding Arafat’s homosexuality have been fueled primarily
by evidence provided by his former communist allies in Romania.
During the 1970’s and 1980’s, Arafat was a regular in Nicolae
Ceausescu’s Bucharest, where Romanian intelligence and its KGB overlords were
providing the PLO with the means to gain legitimacy in the West.
Little did Arafat know that Lt.-Gen. Ion Pacepa, the deputy chief of
Romania’s intelligence service, had rigged his guest suites with
surveillance equipment.
In his book “Red Horizons”, Pacepa unveils Arafat as an insatiable
homosexual by recalling a telephone conversation with Constantin Munteaunu,
a general assigned to the PLO.
“I just called the microphone monitoring center to ask about the
‘Fedayee,'” Arafat’s code name, explained Munteaunu. “After the meeting with
the Comrade, he went directly to the guest house and had dinner. At
this very moment, the ‘Fedayee’ is in his bedroom making love to his
bodyguard. The one I knew was his latest lover. He’s playing tiger again.
The officer monitoring his microphones connected me live with the
bedroom, and the squawling almost broke my eardrums. Arafat was roaring like a
tiger, and his lover yelping like a hyena.”
Pacepa wrote that after reading the full intelligence reports, “I felt
a compulsion to take a shower whenever I had been kissed by Arafat, or
even just shaken his hand.”
Where’s the money?
For days Arafat has reportedly been hooked to life support machines,
after suffering a full collapse of all vital organs.
His wife, Suha, is said to be in control of when the plug is pulled.
But before doing that, Suha and top PA officials hope to gain access to
the vast hordes of money to which Arafat alone had access for the past
30 years.
It was on the strength of these finances and his sole control over them
that Arafat maintained his position.
According to reports, Arafat has as much as $5 billion stashed away in
Swiss bank accounts. Most of it came from the PLO’s long years of drug
trafficking in Lebanon, but much was also pilfered from international
aid meant to help the “Palestinians” establish a state.
“It is amazing that some US officials still see the Palestinian
Authority as a partner even after US congressional records revealed
authenticated PLO papers signed by Arafat in which he instructed his staff to
divert donors’ money to projects benefiting himself, his family and his
associates,” Issam Abu Issa, founder of the Palestine International Bank,
said in a report for Middle East Quarterly.
When asked by Qureia and Abbas last week as he boarded a Jordanian
military helicopter in Ramallah how to access the funds needed to keep the
PA functioning, Arafat simply replied, “I’m still alive, thank God, so
don’t worry.”
Postponed death announcement
An official announcement regarding Arafat’s death has also reportedly
been postponed until Qureia and Abbas have are able to secure their
positions atop the “Palestinian” power structure.
Over the weekend, Qureia met with representatives from Hamas and other
terrorist organizations in order to persuade them to join the
Palestinian Authority under his leadership.
Hamas instead demanded the formation of a power sharing government in
which it would retain its independent status. Qureia rejected the idea.
One official source in Ramallah suggested Arafat’s death would be
announced on Tuesday, to coincide with the Muslim holy day of Lailat
al-Kader, when, according to Islamic lore, the Koran was given to the Prophet
Mohammed.
Burial site battle lines
Whenever Arafat’s death does become official, the first point of
contention that is to mark a tumultuous aftermath to his death will likely be
over his burial site.
Israel says it is ready to let Arafat be interred in the Gaza Strip,
but that Jerusalem and even Judea and Samaria are off limits.
Prior to his death, Arafat had expressed a desire to be buried atop
Jerusalem’s Temple Mount. “Palestinian” officials are expected to demand
Israel acquiesce to this wish.
Israeli Justice Minister Yosef Lapid told the Associated Press last
Friday that “Jerusalem is the city where Jewish kings are buried, not Arab
terrorists.”

WARNING:: This post is not suitable for children under 18! If you are under 18, please look into the eyes of this girl below and say “i have neglect to read the clear and easily understandable caution statement above and hence i have given up all my rights to sue www.xes.cx and any of its members.”

Swearing 101
Kaninabeh chao chebye(Fuck Your Bloody Mother’s smelly pussy (Hokkien)), i am the teacher for your class of Swearing 101. Before i start, i want to warn you of the consequences for not paying attention in class. For the guy, I will kick his lan jiao (dick (Hokkien) and crush his lan hoot (balls (Hokkien)). For the girl, i will smash your nen nen (breasts (Hokkien)) with a hammer. Understand!!!
Ok, let’s start French first:-
merde – shit
manges la merde – eat shit
tu m’emmerdes – you’re pissing me off
(Lit. you’re shitting on me)
tu me fais chier – you are pissing me off
vas faire foutre
a la vache – go fuck a cow.
encule – fuck you (anal style!?)
salope, ordure, conasse,
poofias – bitch
va te faire voir,
va aux diable,
aux pelotes,
fous la camp,
va te faire cuire un oeuf,
va chier,
te faire voir chez lez Grecs!
– go to hell!, Fuck off!
vas te faire foutre – go get fucked (lit: stuff you)
vas te faire enculé – fuck you
fils de pute – son of a bitch
tu m`emmerdes! – Fuck yourself!
une vieille bique,
il est becheur – an old bitch, pompous ass
le con, la conasse,
la chatte – cunt
baiser – to fuck
ce sont des conneries – that’s a load of shit
leche moi et saire me renier
– lick me and make me cum
tete moi le dard, enculé!
– suck my dick,
you fucked faggot!
mes couilles sur ton nez – my balls on your nose
putain, pute – whore
cul – ass
bite – cock
pauvre con – asshole (lit: you poor cunt)
vas pisser dans
les fleurs – fuck off (lit: go piss in the flowers)
c’est rien que
de la merde – its just a bunch of shit
maudite vache – asshole/bitch/etc – (lit: damned cow)
va chier – go shit
tu mangeras le tas – you can eat the pile
(usually an answer to “va chier”s)
Now in Arabic:-
Koos – cunt.
nikomak – fuck your mother
sharmuta – whore
zarba – shit
kis – vagina
zib – penis
Elif air ab tizak! – a thousand “dicks” in your ass!
kisich – pussy
Elif air ab dinich – A thousand dicks in your religion
Mos zibby! – Suck my dick!
Waj ab zibik! – An infection to your dick!
kelbeh – bitch (lit a female dog)
Muti – jackass
Kanith – Fucker
Kwanii – Faggot
Bouse Tizi – Kiss my ass
Okay, now you have learn how to swear in two languages;You are ready for your first class quiz. My question to you is “Find Osama’s zib in the picture below.”

Take your time to answer the question cos there is no time limit. If you fail to answer the question then you are damn fucking stupid.