Author: Frank_omatic

So Guys, you wanna be sexy…

I was checking out Lelong.com.my today and i come across this banner that says :-

“Sex and Perfume””

Out of curiousity and ham-supness, i go and click on it to check it out. According to the website, the perfume can
“Increase your sex appeal by 100 X ! ”

fuaaah…..100 X u know. That’s like SUPERMAN lar!!!

Other benefit includes:-

-More eye contacts and smiles from the opposite sex
Wah in another work, you make the girls go crazy…WAH!!!!

-You will be found more sexually attractive
WAH!!!! Can get FREE SEX
-More dates and sexual intercourse

MORE SEX!!!!
-More passionate lovemaking

MORE AND MORE SEX
-Same sex will intuitively respect you
SEX AGAIN!!!

-A rejuvenation of your current relationship
Does that mean Sex too?

-The opposite sex will feel more relaxed and at ease with you
Save money for your girlfriend and wife on Spa and probably as a result, you get to have SEX

-Increase your self confidence
what is that suppose to mean? Does it has something to do with Sex also?

-Better business / employment relationships
WAH..even your boss wanna SEX YOU UP

SO IF YOU ARE LOSER, YOU MUST GET THIS!!!

If you don’t understand English, they have Bahasa Malaysia version complete with FAQ.

Disclaimer: www.xes.cx or its member is not affliated with vnofragrance.com and this article is merely meant for pleasure reading for its blog reader and does not represent our views on the product.

The Green Tank

To those who live around OUG might have seen an old green Ford roaming around the streets. It’s so old that you can see its paint peeling. This green old Ford, also fondly known as the ‘Tank’, belongs to my high school friend, Jia Lin.
The Tank is one powerful car. I heard that few years back, the Tank got involved in an accident with another car. The Tank was fine but other car went turtle!

Continue reading The Green Tank

KL Traffice Woes

First of all, I must thank the person who came up with the concept of fasting. Now thanks to the fasting month, the traffic back home is SMOOOOOOTTTHHHH. This is because our Muslim friends get to leave early. My Muslim colleagues leave at 5PM.

Think about it, more than half of the Malaysian population are Muslims. After 5PM, half of Malaysia is not working!

I work in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, where traffic jams usually start at 730AM in the morning. Every morning I try to wake up at 6AM so that I could beat the jam. But most of the time, I would still end up stuck in a jam as I rolled on the bed for too long. O_O

Other than bottlenecks, I think one of the main causes of traffic jam is the traffic police. Sometimes I wonder do they really know what are they doing?? They sometime would let one particular route to flow and stop other routes causing a massive backlog.

When ever this happens, I would wind up my window, turn on the radio and scream, “CHAU CHEE BYE!!!! PUUHHH KI MAAAAKK!! YOU KNOW WHAT THE F*** YOU’RE DOING”. This happens especially when the traffic light has turned green and yet the police refuse to let us move.

Sometimes I get so mad that I feel like disobeying the traffic police’s order. Of course, I wouldn’t do this until I do a research on whether I could use this argument.

After a brief research, it seems that I could not disobey the police’s order. This is because under Section 79(1) of the Road Transport Act 1987 (“RTA”) where it states that where a police officer ….., is for the time being engaged in regulating traffic on a road, notwithstanding that any traffic sign has been lawfully placed on or near that road, any person driving … who fails or neglects to stop the vehicle …, shall be guilty of an offence and shall on conviction be liable to a fine not exceeding five hundred ringgit (RM500).

Looks like the only alternative I have now is to scream profanities in the car. Cheebye!!

My 25th Birthday

Every year I try to avoid celebrating my birthday so that I don’t get bombed by alcohol. Fortunately, this year, some good friends remember my birthday and they gathered people.
We started off with dinner at my brother in law’s place at Cowboy Station, Kelana Jaya.

20 people consisting 2 groups of friends, my former clubbing kakis and my former University of Sheffield classmates (including their respective partners). Thank you Zing, Charmaine, HHH, ivN, Sharon Dilirius, Sam, Don, Cris, Florence, Sow, Johnson, Janet ‘Chin’ (Chai), Cynthia Chan, Michie, KF and gf, Su Ween, Jon, Mindy, Frank and Hazel for turning up.

Continue reading My 25th Birthday

Pouting pose

Lately I notice that the latest pose on blogs and friendster is the ‘pouting’ pose. The girls do it, even the guys do it. Some are quite cute, I must admit.

These lips are taken from some blogs that I frequent. From left to right, can you tell me whether these lips belong to a male or a female 😀 First person who gets it correct will win an autographed paperbag from bimbobum.
Then lately, while surfing Cute Overload, I saw this picture..

LOL Guinea pig POUTING !!
Picture republished with permission from TanyaH

Caught in the act?

Well guess what, i have internet connection at my new place now. Finally after 2 months but the internet connection kinda sucks and seems unstable. Maybe because of area is new and maybe because my account is new. God know…
Anyway, i came across this incident today. I have this client. She used to run a pub. She is kinda pretty and sexy for a woman in her late 30s. I called her this morning at about 11am, asking her come over my office to sign her document.
me: Hello.Good morning, Ms. X
Ms X: uuuuh….arggh…aaaaah
me: …… ( WTF!! i thought to myself)
(after 1 sec)
me: hello?
Ms. X: aaaah…huh, hello (in a very weak voice)
me: eeer, Ms. X maybe i should call you back later in the afternoon. Sorry for disturbing you.
doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh…i hung up the phone
WTF, is she eeer….she can’t be right?

Taxi Driver

Ever so often, people had been complaining about how rude the taxi driver can be some of the time. We even have Newspaper article and TV programme about them. But, what about their call centre operator. Will if you ask me…My answer is “LOUSY”
This was my personal experience with SuperCab. Not long ago, my mum asked me to call a cab for her because she wanna go down to KL at 5.00pm. I told her no promise but i will try to get one at peak hour. Hence, i called Supercab because the taxi main station was 10 mins from my house. The call centre operator said ok, a taxi was willing to take my mum and it would be at my house in 5 mins time. 20 mins later, my mum called me and asked me where was the taxi? My guess was that the taxi driver got lost in my area (My area is a new housing area). Therefore, i called the Call Centre to ask …
me: Hello, i called a taxi awhile ago. You said that he will be coming in 5 mins but he is not here yet.
Opeator: Ooooh, so did you wait for him?
me: Ya, of course.
Operator: Well, i think he is not coming already.
me: Then why you told me he was coming just now?
Operator: I thought he would have know that taxi normally don’t want to go to KL during peak hour. So i guess he changed his mind la.
me: Then, why he said that he was gonna come when you radio him?
Operator: Now, he is not coming already la.
me: So, what should i do?
Operator: You can try calling another one? Do you wanna call one now?
me: Yes, if you don’t mind.
Operator: Ok, if i told you that the taxi is coming in 5 mins. My answer now is please try again later.
me: WHAT!!!
FUCKING HELL, SHE THINK THIS IS FUNNY AR? FUCKING INSULT ME.
So, if anyone of you think that taxi call centre out there should be more courteous and the bad one should DIE. Please boycott Supercab!!! AND I MEAN IT!!!

One of the many Dr. Phil jokes…

Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
“You all have obsessions,” he said.
To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating, you’ve even named your daughter Candy.”
He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”
He turns to the third mom. “Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, ” Come on Dick, we’re leaving.”
😀

The Haunted House

No, this is not a story about a haunted house. What it really is though is a test of character. The results can be rather surprising but it was rather true for me.
Btw, you get your share of ghosts here too! ;P
One day, you get lost in the wilderness while travelling. It gets dark and you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner tells you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose?
The room where:
A) a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window
B) the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing
C) the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it
D) a headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night
Make a comfortable choice before you click on the extension which will reveal the explanation. Are you SURE YET? Click only if you REALLY REALLY ARE, OK? ;D

Continue reading The Haunted House