Author: Frank_omatic

From Today’s Star Newspaper

Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: ” Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”
This was a joke written by Spike Milligan and was apparently voted as the funniest Joke in the World. What do you think?

Striking Up A Conversation

Not sure if any of you have heard of this joke but here’s one!
Two strangers are stitting in adjacent seats in the airplane.
One guy says to the other, “Let’s talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, “What would you like to discuss?”
The first guy says,”Oh, I don’t know; how about nuclear power?”
The other guy says, ” OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first: –
A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?”
The first guy says, ” I don’t know.”
The other guy says, “Oh? Well then, do you really think you’re qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don’t know shit?”

Heineken Music Lab: Analog Girl @ ZOUK KL 28.4.2006

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Initially it was just Sui Lin and I. Both of us were interested to see a Singaporean girl perform with a laptop and singing with it. What made it more intriguing is that she has performed in places like Japan, France and UK.

Then Sharon Dilirius and Angeline joined us.

Since it’s a Heineken organized party, beer was cheap. RM65 for a bucket of Heineken it and it comes with a free gift.

Admission was free but non-members of Heineken Music Lab would have to register themselves before getting in. I thought it was going to be packed, but it wasn’t so. We managed to find a place to sit.

Further, I had the privilege of the company of 3 gorgeous ladies. 😀 But the problem is that the 3 of them does not drink beer… ARGH. NO BUCKET OF BEER FOR ME! Fortunately, the Hardsequance crew was there as well, Jovi spared me a bottle 😀

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Analog Girl was dressed in a black 1 piece dress, and sneakers O_O. She didn’t say much during her performance but she sang throughout her 45 minutes performance. I find her music a bit morbid. It has a little tinge of Bjork in it. Further, her equipment wasn’t limited to a Mac laptop, she had some sort of mixer as well.

Overall performance was fairly alright. The first few minutes were interesting but my fascination sort of die down after few songs.
There was another event in ZOUK as well. It was the Cleo’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelor party. The queue to get in to ZOUK was crazy, the line wasn’t that long when Eddie Halliwell was here. It was all the way till the roadside !

Further, no way I was going to attend that event. But definitely Gavin Tan would love to since he loves checking guys out. wahahHAha

Bapa Ayam Kereta Saya (Pimp My Ride)

Sometimes ago, on MSN
frank_omatic says: eh..do u know a show call “Pimp my car” on MTV ar?
xxx says: pimp my ride
frank_omatic says: ya ya. they r gonna make a M’sia version call “Bapa Ayam Kereta saya. kinda cool it u ask.
xxx says: ya meh?? heehhee…u become host for the show issit?
frank_omatic says: no la…u think ppl will still engage my legal service if they know that i am pimping for a ride
i think u should go for it la
frank_omatic says: we name the show “mamasan kereta saya” or mamasan for my ride
xxx says: ahahhaa…i need thick white make up n DD cup boobs
frank_omatic says: eh…no need super white makeup la. 50 cents (Is he is the host?)
so black also can become host [note: that is just a joke. I am not racist.]
xxx says: heh? he’s host meh?
frank_omatic says: ya la. instead of having bullet scars like him. we chop ur face a few times
to leave some parang scars. m’sia gangster not known for gunshot wound thus parang la
xxx says: naaahh. just put a few stitches like frankenstien can liao
frank_omatic says: chop first baru can stich mah. hey this is a reality show
no make up..everything is natural
xxx says: *roll eyes* u going bonkers la

Why don’t you fuck off…

Recently i read about a security company that sent out real life size cardboard security guard greeting card. According to them, their clients/friends love it and put it in front of their main door when they “balik kampung” (return to hometown) . Apparently, the “security guard” could repel theives too because he look kinda “ganas” (fierce/violence).
But to me, i prefer to put this…

“Fuck off!!!”