Category: General

Women and Cars

This post is not meant to offence women. It is merely an urban legend aka stories that i heard from people around me.

A lot of man say that woman cannot drive properly or woman don’t know how to look after their car. Here are two stories that i heard about woman who don’t know how to look after their car

Story 1
Ms. A is a uni graduate. She bought a car. Two year later, her car had to be sold for scrap metal. Why? It’s not because she got into some accident. The reason behind it was that for those two years that she had been using the car, she had never serviced it. When she was being asked about it. She said “I wash my car everyday. Isn’t that servicing my car?”

Story 2
Ms. B, college student’s new car broke down one day. She insisted that her mechanic didn’t have to check her car battery because she refilled it once per week. When the mechanice came to his wit end to find out what was wrong with the car, he took out the car battery for a look. The car battery had battery water in it but how come it was not working? When Ms. B was being questioned about what water she filled her battery with, she said “Normal water la”.

Mermaids are mammals

NOTE: This Post is X rated. If you find it too offensive, don’t bloody read it or else www.xes.cx will not be responsible for it and we don’t encourage whatever it is said in the post. If you report us to malay mail or metro, please let us know so that we can give you a nicer photo of us. Thank You.
I was having a drink in a mamak (a local indian coffee shop) with RL just now.
RL: Bro, do an aquarium in your house la. I will design for you.
[RL is a designer. He specialise in designing aquarium.]
me: I don’t want la. Fishes are boring. They don’t manja manja you like the dogs and cats.
RL: ooooh…what about putting a mermaid inside there? What will you do if you have a mermaid at home
me: eeer…i will ask her to blow me underwater.
[Most guys talk are prevertive so don’t mind me. I am a guy too.]
RL: Don’t you wanna fuck her?
me: How wei? Later she laid eggs, how?
RL: Mermaids are mammal wei.
me: They are?
RL: Ya!!! They have breast!!!
me: ooooh….just like whale la.
*RL gave me a witty look*
RL: Ya man. Just imagine that wei. You don’t have the hassle of spreading her legs. You just hold her like you are hugging the wall and hump her.
*I turned behind, pretend to look for the waiter to order another drink and rolled my eyes*
After that, i thought of his wacky idea for awhile and ponder upon the point of what am i suppose to tell my woman in my house if the mermaid die because i hump her too hard?
“I am sorry. I fuck the fish too hard last night”
P.S. About the malay mail and metro on the note above, i am kidding. Please do not report us to the Newspaper. We will censor it to PG rated if you want.

Throat Infection

My doctor diagnosed me with throat infection after I had a 40 over degrees fever today.

Fck la. It sucks to be sick.

She gave me some medicine. Not bad, I felt better in a while. But there’s one pill where I have to shove it up my arse.

But thats the last resort if the other pills she gave arent working. NO WAY I AM GOING SHOVE IT UP MY ARSE!!! NO WAY!! NO BLOODY WAY!!!

belakang mari…ooo sakit ooohh..
Till then, I need a good rest…

EDIT: I did not administer the medicine through my anus. SO STOP MESSAGING ME ON WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE ADMINISTERED IT.

Random Babbling File no. 7122005

One day, my friend asked me What is the Female version of Dick, Tom and Harry? *Scratch head* Is it Marry, Jane and Susan? Because it kinda rythme and it is quite easy to say.

What about the Malaysia version of Dick, Tom and Harry? “Rub Chin* I think it should be Ali, Ah Kao and Muthu because those are the 3 most common name seen the Malaysia School Textbook.
What about the Malaysia Female Version of Dick, Tom and Harry? zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…i have no idea.

So you wanna be a pilot…

I wonder what happen to those people whose dream was to become a pilot but their application was rejected due to various reasons and after a few years, who still cling on to their dream…until one day i disover this

OMG, they become LOSERS!!!

OMFG!!! Top Gun Pose *shake head*

Somemore wanna pretend that their “Plane” can fly. So lame!!! I feel shame for their family.
NOTE: These photos are obtained from an unidentified Source on WWW. The copyright of the photo belongs to its original author.

Book of Corinthians

Today, we are gonna read verse from the bible. =P
Hey don’t complain!!! You can’t come here everyday for jokes and hamsup (X-rated)stories. Sometime, i need to write serious post also or else the Metro will feature me in their sunday headline.
Anyway, this is one of favourite bible verse which i was forced to recite in Sunday School in Mandrin. (Ya, i went to Mandrin Speaking Church.):-
“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres.”
[1 Corinthians 13:4-7]
Beautiful verse right? I shall recite that for my wedding. That is if i ever get marry la.

My Niece..

This is my niece, Intan. We met @ my sister’s convocation.

During the convocation dinner…

Intan: I have a boyfriend already!
Me: How old are you?
Intan: 6 years old!
Me: O_O!! boyfriend?! But you’re only 6 years old!
Intan: YESYES, I KISSED HIM ALREADY!!!! Hehe…..
Me: …………

F-R-A-N-K

Last Saturday, i went to buy Domino Pizza. I told and wrote my name on the order form, F-R-A-N-K, Frank.
Then i sat waiting for the pizza with my friend, drinking coca cola. 15 minutes later, the supervisor called out.
“Farouk.”
“Farouk.”
No reply from anyone.
“FAROUK!!!! ALOHA CHICKEN PIZZA”
eh, that sounded like my order, i thought to muyself. So, I walked to the supervisor.
“I ordered Aloha Chicken Pizza but my name is Frank”
The supervisor took a look at my order form and the sticker on the Pizza box.
“oooh, Frank. Sorry ar.”
Stupid la, how can you mispronounce Frank as Farouk. They are so different!!!