It was a fiery battle. Me armed with R1dsect, them armed with their passion to keep home in my bedroom. Me against the ants. THE BATTLE BETWEEN DEE & THE BLACK SMELLY ANTS. *cue: appropriate war tune*
After my vanilla c0ke exploded in my bedroom, within 15 minutes, a river of Black Smelly Ants That Bite (hereby BSATB) were aggressively streaming towards my bedroom from godknowswhere. Thus the battle began. They were everywhere! I sprayed every nook and cranny of my bedroom and finally managed to trace the BSATB fort in Kim?s bedroom. The ultimate spraying began, every ant that came out of the hole, I sprayed them to oblivion and the BSATB retaliated by bravely running towards me (ala Arag0rn and gang running head-on towards the Trolls in L0TR ? of course, this time the Arag0rn of Ants get to meet his maker way sooner. Blind recklessness, really), futile attempts to attack me. After minutes that seemed like hours, the battle was finally over. Shrivelled-up dots of what used to be BSATB littered the battlegrounds of my sister?s parquet floor. I left feeling triumph and yet, the ironic emptiness of a battle won.
Woke up the next morning smelling the fumes of the after-battle? AND a throbbing ant bite on my left point finger!!! Vehemence swells within me, as I squinted through my shortsightedness to see a slim river of BSATB on my bathroom wall. The battle began once again. But my line of attack had changed; I held my showerhead firmly on my right hand while my left hand turned up the water pressure knob. Watching the ants run wildly around as I slowly sprayed the water along the wall towards the midst of ant-panic, like a tidal wave leisurely approaching the shore. Watching them go down the drain was almost overwhelming as I felt the soreness on my left finger.
And I thought I won once again.
The following day, I was rudely interrupted while I was typing an email on my laptop when I saw a rather carefree ant running across my laptop screen. And behold! The BSATB had made my laptop their new fort!!! A virtually indestructible fort – inaccessible by R1dsect, untouchable by water. I almost cried.
So there I was, squatting in front of my laptop ? waiting for an ignorant ant to wander out of the sanctuary to succumb between my ruthless tissue-covered fingers. A messy and foul job but it had to be done to restore the honour of my beloved laptop. Hours later with tainted fingers, I felt a hint of victory. The only BSATB left were in tiny squashed-up segments all over my fingers, the tissue that yielded halfway through the battle, thrown at the side. The smell of death congesting my senses.
And finally, I think I have won. 🙂