Author: bimbobum

by being yourself? and failing…
1. eat first, don’t wait for her
he asked me out for dinner and we agreed to meet at some place. i arrived at that place and as i approached his table, i noticed he had already started eating. puzzled, i asked, “er, you were hungry already?” but he answered no. i felt like he was obviously trying to avoid buying me a meal. ;P
i’ll pay for my own, for goodness sake. but it was actually the first time i was meeting him after we were introduced at a friend’s party. it was awkward, because even among friends we’d wait for everyone to arrive to order and start eating together – unless some people are going to be really late.
and that was only mcdonald’s!
2. telling her straight that she’s paying for her own dinner
i was jobless for a while and had to live on my savings. eating out was tough. 🙁 he asked me to have dinner with him another time and i asked him where would he like to go. he suggested trying some place new. i asked if the place (which i suggested) was within his budget (because whenever he called to invite me out for dinner, the first place he’d suggest would be, “mamak”.)
he responded to my question, “up to you!! you’re the poor person, not me. i don’t have to worry about a budget!”
…………… can you guess how i felt?
gosh, he was tactless. obviously he didn’t want to buy me dinner, right? i was so offended that i said, “i told YOU i wanted to go to the MAMAK, and obviously we SHOULD have gone there, cos it’d be within MY budget.”
stingy fella la he.
3. ordering her something else instead of what she specifically asked for
he offered to order my food for me. let’s say, the place serves caesar salad and oriental salad. i told him i wanted the caesar salad. but an oriental salad came instead. hmmm, i thought to myself, maybe he didn’t hear me.
so what’s the difference with between this and the caesar salad? he asked.
!!!!!
so he DID hear me. what was up with him? if they had ran out of caesar salad, at least have the courtesy to let me know that’s why you ordered the oriental salad for me instead la.
i figured maybe because he was going to pay for me, he ordered the cheaper one instead.
to save RM2.

i’ve always believed that guys are the violent creatures who lack civic-consciousness. ;P
until i saw this in the girls’ toilet in 1 Utama (new wing) today.

f**k, man. what did the girl use? she brought along hammers and some heavy shit to whack the door because
(a) she caught her darling with a new lover so she had to release tension?
(b) she’s quite “strong” because she works out a lot?
(c) she was pissed drunk and knocked her head on the door?
or maybe a guy sneaked into the girl’s toilet after a midnight show and ravaged his girlfriend in the loo and things got heated up and hence, the accidental vandalism?
yuck. don’t know bout the tissue though.
BUT WHAT THE HELL!
be civic-minded for f**k’s sake. just because it doesn’t belong to you doesn’t mean you can go around stealing it or vandalising it!

BTD is short for Blog Transmitted Disease, is a disease or infection which has a significant probablity of being transmitted between bloggers or blog readers by means of excessive blogging or a dependency on blogs as a source of communication or entertainment. the common symptoms of BTD are as follows: thinking, talking, shitting, sleeping and dreaming of blogs and bloggers. Cures and medication have yet to be found.
——————————–
A recent case of BTD was reported last week. bimbobum, aged **, tells her story to XesNN:

“i was in my study room, reading xes.cx as usual, and AC (a prominent female blogger) and another friend, Tom, was in the room with me, chatting as they looked out the window.
it was dark out side, gloomy skies threatening to rain. the window was blowing so hard that i thought the curtains were going to fly off its rails. i was scared, but Tom and AC were not. it was strange to have AC in my room, because i didn’t know her personally.
then Tom and i went to the living room to see what was showing on TV, but it felt weird. the wind was blowing so hard it felt like a tsunami was going to hit my house. but when we looked out the balcony, everything looked calm. just gloomy skies.
we quickly went back into the study room and locked the door, because i was scared. AC was still sitting by the window, in her own world, humming a song to herself. i quickly told her that something weird was going on. but she continued humming.
then suddenly, the light started flickering, and so did my monitor. i started to panic, fearing that something supernatural was going to happen. Tom and AC looked calm.
then the door started to rattle, as if someone outside was desperate to get inside. the electricity went out, darkness surrounded us. but if you looked outside the window, you could see that the skies were just gloomy, and was starting to pour cats and dogs.
the door rattled and shook, threatening to fall off its hinges. we could see flashes of light through the crack, and i thought i saw something white trying to squeeze through underneath the door. there was wind through the cracks as well, like a storm brewing and screaming to get in to the room.
i almost peed in my shorts! i wanted to cry, but Tom and AC were so f*cking calm, that for a moment, i thought they were going to kill and eat me alive.
but AC was stoned as hell, and Tom, apparently was just acting cool. so i started to pray.
the rattling and flashes of white continued, and the wind that blew through the cracks felt like deafening screams.
it felt like forever. but it was only 30 minutes. suddenly everything stopped with a loud bang. like the door flew off its hinges and into our faces.
but it didn’t. the door gave a soft pop, and creaked open a crack. and we waited expectantly. i think i peed in my shorts already by then.
slowly, without a sound, the door opened with suspense. i held my breath, tempted to close my eyes but curiousity got the best out of me.
like a century later, the door opened completely. to reveal ……….. darkness.
“f*ck!!!!!!!!!!!” my brain was screaming at me. i think i wanted to die on the spot.
and suddenly, my monitor came back on, and so did the light. funny, my browser automatically opened to xes.cx and i saw this.

“shit!” i panicked, “that whatever thingy actually screwed up the blog! xes wasn’t going to be too happy about it!” i thought to myself.
but it was just a f*cking nightmare at 945am on a sunday morning. ARRRGGGGGHHHHHh!”

———–
Upon observation and medical check-ups, it is confirmed that bimbobum is suffering from BTD and has been given 124 antibiotic injections on her bum, but doctors are unable to confirm if she is fully cured.
One Dr. Xes, when approached by XesNN for comments, agreed that bimbobum is a severe blog addict who required 24 hour supervision, for fear that she may be a national hazard in the blogosphere.
“It is obviously that her life revolves around blogs, which is unhealthy. she should keep her blogging to a minimum.”
So far, bimbobum is the first casualty reported. she is reported to be safe and alive.

malaysian CLEO’s most eligible bachelor 2006 is on!
bachelor #51’s interview not published:
which reality show would you like to be on?
Kisah Benar, as a rapist.
i know she’s special when …
she irons my underwear nicely and sprays perfume on it after it’s been washed.
what were you teased about as a child?
my big ‘peter’. and i was only 8.
what scares you?
that special girl stops ironing my underwear and spraying perfume on it. *sad face*
being successful to me means …
finding that special girl ironing my underwear and spraying perfume.
a wife-beater is …
macho as hell, i support! women submit, men dominate!
i’m currently listening to …
Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’ on repeat. it makes me cry.
[wtf …… ?]
i’ll probably karate kick the fella should i see him!

sooooooooooooooooooo …. who did you vote for, or planning to vote for? every year CLEO magazine has the Most Eligible Bachelor contest and girls (and boys, too) get the chance to drool over their pictures in the magazine and dream our dreams, involving them. ;P
most “bachelors” are always either attached or not into women. sad. “bachelors” eh? meaning unmarried men, i guess. no fun!!!!!! imagine winning a date with one of the bachelors, and he ffk (“stands you up”) because his girlfriend/boyfriend/partner threatened to trail along like a demented groupie, crying, “*sobs* you useless bastard … you’re not eligible! you’re mine, ALL MINE! i’ll bring you to my grave, if i have to!!”
i’d just forfeit the date, if i win it. scared.
i got bored flicking through the magazine – nothing held my attention long enough. and only when i was bored again, a few days later, did i get back to scrutinising the fellas properly. some are really cute looking (yummy…), but the clothes they were given to wear for the shoot were not really my taste. ;P and the questions are not enough. and no stats, too? height please!! ;P
and there’s always a candidate who’s a lawyer. why don’t we nominate xes, fank, rych and honfaai next year? ;D good idea? then we can all be (paid) cheerleaders. ;P
anyway, check this out:
Manhunt International 2006
*drools* i like Bolivia and and China South.

today’s Star newspaper talked about amber chia being featured in the first issue of Indonesia Playboy which sparked comments from everywhere. the magazine, i mean, not amber chia.
a few organisations in Indonesia who fear for the corruption of the morality in the country have vowed to make sure that the magazine will be rid from news-stands, and i wonder how will they do it? they say that ‘moral terrorism’ is more dangerous towards Indonesia than terrorism itself. ;P
hugh hefner, the founder of Playboy magazine, just celebrated his 80th birthday, and is living with 3 girlfriends. i wonder what his girlfriends do everyday….
Who’s Your Daddy? isn’t real, right? or is it? the lifestyle, i mean. ;P woo….
anyway, what does it take to be in the centerfold? i want to be in one!!!!!! but the closest i’ve been in one is in an exercise book back in high school ……………. my fat bum was made fun of.
and speaking of morality! i’m not happy with this. that holding hands and kissing in public shit.
[Added by xes]
The news that bimbobum wasn’t happy about is the recent Federal Court decision:-

PUTRAJAYA: The local government has the power to establish by-laws to prosecute citizens who behave disorderly in public, the Federal Court ruled yesterday.
Chief Justice Tun Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim, together with Federal Court judges Datuk Alauddin Sheriff and Datuk Richard Malanjum, unanimously held that the Datuk Bandar of Kuala Lumpur (DBKL) was correct to charge two students for behaving indecently by hugging and kissing at Kuala Lumpur City Centre Park.
The court ruled that Section 8 (1) of the Park By-Laws, the section invoked by the Datuk Bandar to punish persons caught behaving indecently in public was constitutional.
Following the ruling, two students, Ooi Kean Thong, 24, and Siow Ai Wei, 22, will have to defend themselves against the charge levelled against them at the Kuala Lumpur City Hall Court.

In view of the aforesaid Federal Court decision, a lawyer in the Malaysian Bar Council Forum suggested the following:

I urge the Bar Council to organise a day trip to KLCC garden and gather as many lawyers as possible to hold a mass-kissing between lawyers to show our protest to the recent case. Single male lawyers will kiss singles female lawyers while those married will kiss their own spouses. We want to show to the government that kissing in public is NOT and will NEVER be wrong. We mean business. Morality issues should never be confused with law.
This way, we can achieve 2 goals in a day… First, we can clearly tell the govt what is our stand on the issue. And secondly, we can create a stronger bond between members of the Bar.

Source: http://www.malaysianbar.org.my/component/option,com_simpleboard/Itemid,215/func,view/id,650/catid,7/
LOL! Stronger bond by kissing each other? 😀

it’s been said that monks cannot beg, unless it is for food, and before noon. it has been long brought to the attention of the government of these vagrant monks and the public has been advised not to make any donation to them. “donate to the real monks in temples”, is the general advice.
i was having my breakfast in one of the coffee shops in PJ State when this lady “monk” came along. my friend quietly made a donation, and i noticed that there were not many donors from other tables.
honestly, i can’t stand it when they hover at your elbow, when you’re trying to eat in peace. it’s just plain annoying, and i’d feel better making donations straight at the temple. most of the time they’re fake and taking advantage of everyone’s generosity! most of them are not locals, too …
read this.
in general, some beggars’ determination is so strong that they should be put to better use, e.g., doing charity work (genuine!) or part time jobs, perhaps. i don’t mean to be cruel, but if you can hobble around, or walk with your eyes partially closed, or just stand in one spot from morning til night, with your hands outstretched, surely it can be put to use? dammit, i’m referring to capable ones, ok.

well, we have somehow managed to conclude that guys should pay for the first date and girls should offer to pay their share (just make the gesture); and if there is a subsequent date, the girls should buy coffee or dessert.
what comes next? some of the things i have been ‘taught’ or advised are as follows:
(i) if he follows up with a text message or a phone call right after your date, he’s interested.
(ii) if he calls again within the week after your date, he’s interested.
(he calls to chat, not to ask you out)
(iii) if he calls within the week, mid-week to be exact, to ask you out for a date on friday or saturday – BEWARE!
why? WHY??
apparently, it could be because:
(a) he has no other friends – a sad case to be asking you out during the weekend;
(b) he’s a player, just stringing you along;
(c) ok, so he’s pretty interested, but isn’t it too soon, too fast?
funny, right? even i’m confused. how do we actually verify situation (b) or (c) if we don’t even go on a few more dates? oh, and if it’s (c), girls should say no, perhaps another time – tell it to him gently. you’re not rejecting him totally, if you’re interested. but you must get on with your own life, do your own things with your friends during the weekend.
and then i was advised that girls should never call the guys out for the second date. NEVER. according to rule #30 of the Official Dating Guide Book*. that is within the week after the first date, i mean.
why? because then the girl is showing signs of being INTERESTED. girls must let the guys do a bit of chasing, before showing a bit of interest. if not, the guy gets big-headed about it. and may lose interest quickly. (but after two weeks and he still hasn’t called, then yes, you may call him just to have a quick chat, THAT’s ALL – need to find out if the guy is still interested or not. ;P)
it’s a headache, i tell you. i never knew dating could be this complicated.
out of boredom, i actually clicked on “DATING TIPS” on friendster.com the other day. ;P i only read ONE article, because …. it felt really silly to be reading tips like that when it’s all common sense. hehe. however, that article advised girls not to show too many positive signals as the guys may immediately panic, suffocate and drop dead.
apparently they can’t take it, because they freak out easily, too – thinking that girls have already labelled them a couple, planning weekends and their future, screaming “I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!!” to the whole entire world.
the irony of it – if you don’t flash any positive signals, they’ll think you’re not interested or you’re a playgirl – using and abusing them (i.e. too many guys to choose from, too). if you show any, you’re clingy, possessive, etc.
arranged marriages are hassle-free, i guess.
* i don’t know if this exists. Dating for Dummies, got la. ;P