Author: Frank_omatic

Recently, FIFA president, Sepp Blatter told the press that ” Let the Women (footballers) play in more feminine clothing…They could for example, have tighter shorts.”

what do the women footballer think?
Lisa Klaveness (Norway): “If the crowd wanted to see models, they should buy a copy of Playboy.”

Kara Lang (Canada): “I would love to see Sepp Blatter wearing hot pants.”

Pretty face is everything?
Seriously, I think players with pretty faces and hot bodies really help the clubs to gain more fans, fame and of cause money. For instance, when Man Utd sold pretty boy, Beckham, they bought baby face Christiano Ronaldo to replace Beckham as the latest Pin up boy for Old Trafford. Although the real reason behind the purchase is because of his skill, the girls seem to pay more attention to his smile and sexy body. I might sound rather sexist when I say that but guys are the same too. This reminds me of one China Beer Commercial i saw on Satellite TV, 2 years ago.

The commercial started with two bored guys watching Women World Cup Final between USA and another team on TV. When the final whistle went, the two guys sat up straight with their faces sticking to the TV BECAUSE the USA players were taking off their jersey! They were running around the field with only their SPORT BRA on to celebrate their victory. Now you say that it is just a TV commercial, it is not true. You might say that ” I watch sport because it is exciting ” Well, all those macho talks go down the drain when Anna Kournikova comes on the tennis court. They will go like “Wow, I can see her panty” or “Anna is sitting down now! Aiya, why she put that big towel on her lap lar!”…Sound like someone you know?

*slap*
Blogger A: Frank, you are also like that lar. Don’t say other people lar. You fucking hypocrite!
Frank: I am only human lar!

Today, an old friend messaged me on my mobile phone:-
“Do you mind if I borrow your Professional Practice lecture notes and I promise it is for personal use…other subject I got textbook except for this…signed Mr Cow (not his real name).”

Now,should i lend my notes to Mr Cow?
No.
Why?
1. Although he was someone I met in my High School, we had never spoken much to each other in school or after we graduated.
2. We lost contact for 6 years but we bumped into each other recently. He stays a few blocks from me now in KL but we still do not hang out or speak with each other.
3. The quota for CLP is so low. I don’t think helping a student from another college will increase my chance of passing.

What will I lose if I do not lend him the notes?
1. A so call friend
2. I will be known as an asshole and a selfish bastard

Can I live with that?
Yes. It is not my fault that he joined the wrong college for CLP.

Ever think that the person whom you chat on the internet is actually a computer programme? Read about it here –> Has Text-porn finally made computers ‘human’?

Just in case you are too lazy to read, here is a summary:-

According to the report, a programme known as Natachata has the capability of remembering the age, and names of the person that it chats with. This programme is widely used by Porn Merchant.

How does the computer conceal it true identity?
Once the computer receives a message, it will compare with its database and works work what is being said. It will then generate a message completed with slang, spelling mistake and even deliberately delaying for a few minutes before sending out the message. Most perverted suckers do not realise the hot chics they are chatting with is actually a computer.

You cannot fool me, I am a computer geek

Now you might think that nobody will be fooled by this but a geek called Barry fall for it. Barry believes that Julia, a Bot from an online game is a real person.

Barry says: “Hello how are you”
Julia says: “Hello, Barry”
Barry says: “Are you a virgin”
Julia says: “As far as you’re concerned, Barry, I always will be”

He even tried to ask Julia for a date! LOSER!

Hey, guys check out this career inventory personality test. It is quite good. =) Shockingly, the test suggests that my possible profession should be a legal secretary but not a lawyer. Why ar? *scratch head* =P

Which inventory personality are you? 😀

Happy belated Chinese Year to everyone. =)

This was the first CNY I had celebrated since I came back from UK. However, the event that I looked forward to the most this year was my cousin brother, John Lim’s wedding reception in my hometown, Sibu on the third day of CNY. His actual wedding ceremony was held a week after that in KL. The wedding reception was not grand but it was good. We had the bridal car, a Lexus that Uncle Kay Kee (a family friend) lent to us.

Also for the first time in 4 years, we bought some firecrackers to celebrate this auspicious day. It is the Chinese tradition for the guy’s family to burn the firecrackers to welcome the bride. The more firecrackers the family burn, the richer the family will be. Although my family is Christian, we decided to perform all these traditional customs because we want to have a proper Chinese wedding party in Sibu.

I too played an important role on that day. I was the Master of the ceremony and back-up best man. John’s younger brother was suppose to be the Master of ceremony and the best man but due to problem with his flight back to Malaysia ( He was doing his Master in USA), he had no time to prepare the speech. He is still the best man though.

The preparation of the speech was not an easy task especially when it had to be in Chinese. It was very difficult for me because I had never writen a formal Chinese speech before this. Furthermore, I had forgotten how to write most of the Chinese words. Hence, my uncle ended up writing the speech for me. =P After that, we showed the drafted speech to the organising committee for comments and amendments. The speech was initially one page long but after the meeting it was reduced to only 10 lines and only 4 paragraphs. Remembering the speech was not a problem but I had to look up the dictionary for the correct pronunciation of some new words I had encountered. My parents promised to literally skin me alive if I embarrassed my cousin brother, his new wife, my uncles and aunties and the in-laws if I pronounced the words wrongly. Hence in order to be sure, I checked two dictionaries to make sure that I pronounced every damn words correctly.

the small paper was the final draft

Finally the big day came. My uncle went to fetch the bride from a hotel in the city centre while I waited at home. I had another task then. I was in charge of lighting the firecrackers when I saw the car fetching the bride and the groom approaching the house. I did not have the chance to take the picture of the firecrackers because everything happen so fast. =P

the bride and the bridesmaid

Then,

The bride and the groom had to bow to the sky before entering the house for tea offering ceremony. Tea will be offered to the respective grandparents, parents and other uncles and aunties.

After that, we proceed to the restaurant for the party.

This was me making the speech.=P

As the MC, it is also my job to lead the crowd to shout 3 times yamseng. The night before the party, I received instruction from John to shout, yaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (for 10 sec) sssssssssseng. I was almost out of my breath after the third yamseng. But everyone seems to enjoy it.

After the party, we had a photo session.

the Groom’s Family

the Bride’s Family

My Family
Back L-R my younger sister also the bridesmaid -Cindy, cousin sister in-law – May Leen, cousin brother – John, my baby sister – Angeline

Front L-R me, my mother, my grandmother and my father

That’s all folks! Stay tune for the Church wedding in KL!

gaH*

Boss strolls out of his office… looks at me funny… and says, “Eh aren’t you on leave?? Why never apply leave??”

But but but.. . . .

gAH*

I could have gone shopping for my new year clothes today – yes, I know it is very last minute but no, I already got some new starchies but due to some unforeseen circumstances, I have to get new ones. So little time!!! I reckon most shops will be closed by the time I get out of the office, but let?s just see my luck.

With Chinese New Year, comes the Yee Sang (which is a very Malaysian thing, I heard) where we will miss Kim’s presence even more coz whenever we start to ‘lou’ (mix?) the yee sang with chopsticks, she tends to get a little bit too enthusiastic. By the time we are all done, we have to pick out the bits and pieces of salad from our hair and clothes. 😀

Chen is on the road back to his kampung as I type this and sigh, miss him already. He will be away for so long? Ok maybe just 4 days but that would be the longest time away from him in a really long time! 🙁 Hope he remembers he has girl back here in KL.. (yoohoo! Dear?? *waves arms a bit*)

Ok since he isn?t around, I shall take advantage of that to blog about him. 😀

Today would be our 8th month together but it feels much longer though. 8 months together and not once has he opened a door for me. 😛 It?s a familiar scene ? swing open, he walks out, swings close and with me staring at the closed door or attempting to catch the closing door. 😛 And that?s coz we are so comfortable together already – so what for?, he thinks. HE thinks, mind you. But of course, with those 8 months, I have gotten used to that? I merely assumed that he would get to the gentlemanly traits a little later into the relationship. I am still waiting though. 🙂 And yet, the absence of that trait has actually become quite charming in the individualistic sorta way…

Alrites, should find something to do and look busy in the office, before they start to find things for me to do. So before I end this post – Everybody, HAVE A HAPPY GLORIOUS CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

William, one of flatmate had gone back to Penang for Chinese New Year. Now only Hun Chong and I are left in the house. I will be returning to Sarawak on the 18th January while Hun Chong will leave for Penang on 20th January for Chinese New Year. Strangely, William’s absent from the house is not really felt. Maybe it is because we hardly do things together apart from watching TV together. That also explains why we do not have any argument about anything in the house. That is so different from my previous experience.

When I was doing A-level in Taylor’s College, I used to share a house with 6 friends. Although all of us were doing different courses and had different friends. We would always do thing together at night such as playing snooker, mamak, or watch movies. We had a lot of arguments about bills and about whose turn was it to mop the floor. Among the 6 of us, Boon is the coolest and the most happening housemate. He was the one we taught me how to play snooker and pool. However, Boon had a tendency of killing songs. He likes to play his favourite songs over and over again. His favourite song at one time was “She” by Elvis Costello from the movie Nottinghill. That song was one of my favourite until he killed it by playing it from day to night. Back then, we did not have a TV so Boon had this wacky idea of setting up his room to become a mini Cineplex. He would push his Queen Size mattress against the wall and put his computer in front of the bed. Then, he would have his table lamp shinning up the ceiling to create a cinema like atmosphere. All of us would sit on the bed in his air conditioned room to watch VCDs . Another of his wacky idea was putting his radio so that our toilet would have pipe music. All of our friends who visited our house were impressed by our fully conditioned house and pipe music toilet.

Cheng You was supposingly the boss of the house because the house was rented under his name. He made a cleaning roaster for the house. Sadly apart from Simon, Shan Rhen and I, the rest never obey it including Cheng You himselves. Our house was fully conditioned at that time. We had air con in the each of our room and another one in the hall but we only paid RM10 per son. Cheng You, the genius in electronic appliances had come out with an idea of stopping the electric meter by pushing in the front panel glass of the meter.We were supposed to keep this a secret among all of us. However, Boon and Malwin told everyone in school that we were using electricity on behalf of the Agong.

Simon was the most hardworking student among all of us. He studied most of the time. I could not remember why he ended up living with us. Shan Rhen was my football kaki. We used to play football at the field near KFC every Thursday and watched football together. Malwin was the only non Chinese in my house last time. He is a Punjabi. He might be big and strong but he is afraid of ghost. He believed that we had a 7th ghostly housemate in our house. Until the day we moved out, he still insisted that there was actually a ghost in the house. In fact all those extra phenomenon events were the work of Shan Rhen, Boon and me. Malwin was a very innocent person then. He loved to watch porn but dare not buy them because he was afraid that his grandmother or his mother might find out about it.

I had a really great time living with that bunch of jokers. Even though I did badly in all my term exams that year, I have no regret. I really miss them sometimes.

It was a fiery battle. Me armed with R1dsect, them armed with their passion to keep home in my bedroom. Me against the ants. THE BATTLE BETWEEN DEE & THE BLACK SMELLY ANTS. *cue: appropriate war tune*

After my vanilla c0ke exploded in my bedroom, within 15 minutes, a river of Black Smelly Ants That Bite (hereby BSATB) were aggressively streaming towards my bedroom from godknowswhere. Thus the battle began. They were everywhere! I sprayed every nook and cranny of my bedroom and finally managed to trace the BSATB fort in Kim?s bedroom. The ultimate spraying began, every ant that came out of the hole, I sprayed them to oblivion and the BSATB retaliated by bravely running towards me (ala Arag0rn and gang running head-on towards the Trolls in L0TR ? of course, this time the Arag0rn of Ants get to meet his maker way sooner. Blind recklessness, really), futile attempts to attack me. After minutes that seemed like hours, the battle was finally over. Shrivelled-up dots of what used to be BSATB littered the battlegrounds of my sister?s parquet floor. I left feeling triumph and yet, the ironic emptiness of a battle won.

Woke up the next morning smelling the fumes of the after-battle? AND a throbbing ant bite on my left point finger!!! Vehemence swells within me, as I squinted through my shortsightedness to see a slim river of BSATB on my bathroom wall. The battle began once again. But my line of attack had changed; I held my showerhead firmly on my right hand while my left hand turned up the water pressure knob. Watching the ants run wildly around as I slowly sprayed the water along the wall towards the midst of ant-panic, like a tidal wave leisurely approaching the shore. Watching them go down the drain was almost overwhelming as I felt the soreness on my left finger.

And I thought I won once again.

The following day, I was rudely interrupted while I was typing an email on my laptop when I saw a rather carefree ant running across my laptop screen. And behold! The BSATB had made my laptop their new fort!!! A virtually indestructible fort – inaccessible by R1dsect, untouchable by water. I almost cried.

So there I was, squatting in front of my laptop ? waiting for an ignorant ant to wander out of the sanctuary to succumb between my ruthless tissue-covered fingers. A messy and foul job but it had to be done to restore the honour of my beloved laptop. Hours later with tainted fingers, I felt a hint of victory. The only BSATB left were in tiny squashed-up segments all over my fingers, the tissue that yielded halfway through the battle, thrown at the side. The smell of death congesting my senses.

And finally, I think I have won. 🙂

After months of absent from Xes’s blog, I am finally making a come back. That is also because my boss, Xes has been reminding me everyday to blog. Thanks, Ah Leong.

Perhaps not many of my friends know that I love to keep pets. I have 3 German shepherd, two cats, and two tortoises. Anyway, this is one of my cats, Fluffy. As you can see, she was in a bad mood because she just had her bath a few hours ago. By the way, Fluffy is not her real name. My sister gives her a stupid Japanese name. I think it is Yuki as in snowy in Japanese. I don’t want to have a pet with Japanese name!! Can anyone think of a cool name for my cat here?

My boss is out for a meeting so here I am again!! Blogging these days is so exhilarating coz you know how it is, to be quietly typing really fast while stealing glances around you for some busy-body colleague or some sort, minimising the window when someone comes a tad too near or amuse yourself even by visualizing the security guards twisting your arm to the back and pushing you out of the office for blogging. (Technically, there is nothing in the company policy that states that I can?t blog, but then again, I was looking out for the word ?blog? and I dunno if the word ?blog? actually exists as a proper word just yet)

My sis is leaving in 2 days. And I?m really breaking down. I couldn?t get a half-day off work to send her off at the airport so I have to settle for the awkward goodbyes in the car before she goes to the airport. While she will be back in 4 months time for her hols, having her away for 4 months is going to be pure hell. The house will be harshly quiet now without her blasting her Stevie Wonder songs, without her daily whines (whining about what? Oh that depends on the day of the week), without the dog and her shouting at each other and see who gets tired first and of course, nowhere to run to when the going gets tough. A phone call away, yes? but sometimes, it?s the comfortable conversations that goes on between two close-knit sisters where no coherent words were actually spoken but yet, you walk out feeling blessed to have someone there for you no matter what. :?(

Moving away from such glum issuettes, I had lunch at McD33?s today and I never knew they had Chicken McD3luxe, so I gave it a try. Reminds me of the Zing3r though. And damnit, Pr0sperity Burger is out once again but they have it only in beef!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why couldn?t they have it in chicken??? All my colleagues today ordered it and were really rubbing it in. Apparently there was chicken last year but tak laku. I don?t care if it was tak laku but I wasn?t around last year!! Come to think of it, THAT?S WHY tak laku-la? Hah! Menyesal!

(About the occasional spatter of Malay in this post, it comes with having to translate every article I have to write into Malay and not just our ordinary Malay but corporate Malay lingo. So much that my boss threw one of my earlier translations out coz it was too ‘pasar. Right. *goes and digs out Dwi-bahasa from bygones ago)

Ok boss is back, gotta ciao. CIAO!