wham! boom! bam!

My 6 days in the hospital were utterly boring but on some days, my fellow wardmates (consisting of ladies born no later than 1912) made my days there extremely ACTION PACKED, you guys would not believe it!

The second night I was there, all numb with painkillers and sorts, I overheard a rather heated but short conversation between Nurse Bernie and Patient Grace –

Bernie: Grace darling, why do you want to be called Grace? Your records here say your name is Georgia.
Grace: I like to be called Grace.
Bernie: But wh-
Grace: Shut up!
Bernie: But-
Grace: Don’t query me, nursie…. I warn you…

ooooo sent chills down my spine, having a 90+ year old lady going all violent like that.

I always thought that all old, wrinkly ladies were adorable little things with sweet things to say about the weather or something, but geeezzz… beneath that soft, whispery voice is one who is cursing them ancient foul words at the nurses or bitching viciously about the little old lady farting two beds away. Just listen carefully next time. 😀

Then there was this old lady who was senile and always woke up in the middle of the night, all disorientated. She would walk around the ward, looking for her bed and conveniently climb into a random bed, scaring the shit out of the sleeping person. But it got helluva scary one night when she wandered into the bathroom and emerged totally naked – sagging, wrinkly skin and all – then proceeding to ‘find’ her bed. Damnit, I was so scared, I was shaking like hell but there iS a GOD coz a random nurse glanced in and saw our buttnaked vagabond. I swear I would have died if she climbed into my bed. Old ladies in the nude make damn scary silhouettes and just imagine one staggering around your room and she could be joining YOU on YOUR bed tonite!!! wAHhahAHahhaHhhaaaa!!

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