Hand in Marriage

Some time ago, my friends and I were discussing this topic. I was of the view that should a guy plan to propose to his girlfriend, he should actually discuss it with the girl’s parents first as a sign of respect, before proposing to his girlfriend. Some of my friends were of a different view, saying that an engagement and marriage is an affair between only the two of them.
I argued that it would be embarrassing if you proposed to your girlfriend and then come across objections from her parents. Surely you need to get their permission first and to see whether they are prepared to marry their daughter off?
Don’t forget that once you’re married, it brings two families together as well, so it is not entirely an affair for just the couple.
What do you think? Propose to the girlfriend first and then the both of you see her parents and surprise them, or you speak to her parents first before popping the question with the girlfriend?

19 thoughts on “Hand in Marriage”

  1. it depends on the culture i guess?
    like for malays, from what i know, usually the guy will propose to the girl first. then they guy must bring his parents and maybe some members of the family to the girls family. we call it ‘merisik’.
    but in the old days, the parents of the guy will go to the parents of the girl, usually without the knowledge of the guy/girl. something like arranged marriage lah. wait, it is arranged marriage =P.
    but then, in my opinion, when i know i want to marry the girl, i would make it a point to get to know the parents and family and make them trust me and all. so then when i propose to the girl, and later tell the parents, hopefully there won’t be any objections.
    p/s: 1st!!!

  2. Bimbobum: Blah is proposing to you, y so quite give him/her a answer.
    Blah: I think Bimbobum wants you to ask her parents first before she give you her answer.

  3. just last couple of weeks, you asked us whether or not to ask the ‘cute guy’ out, now you’re already contemplating marriage!! 😛
    anyways, i think its better to ‘hint’ the parents, let them know whats coming and your intentions. then if you sense that its green light, its time to head on to the jeweler, make your pick and go on bended knee.

  4. Bimbobum is dumb,
    She finds everything yum,
    That’s why she got a big bum,
    And then she cries to her mum.
    LOL…kidding
    Bimbobum is number one,
    That’s why she heaps of fun.
    She makes all the guys dumb,
    When she shacks her sexy bum.

  5. I like to think that marriage is between two people only. It would be well embarassing if the guy were to ask her parents only to realise the girl is not ready yet. Then what? Preassure will be on the girl to get married because the parents were somewhat expecting it to happen.

  6. depends. put me in the shoe,
    1) propose to gf.
    2) tell parent *No intention of asking her parent for permission. if they say NO then i die la. start all over again???
    Once my GF agree to marry me, if her parent reject also she will fight for it. am i right?
    🙂

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