How Reserved is Reserved?

Over dessert the other day, I realised how talkative I was, while my friend listened for most of the conversation. He made a comment or two, and then I’d continue on.
Once I realised I should allow him to do some talking as well, I made enquiries as to his family, love and social life, and everything else I thought he would be interested in. But he hardly volunteered any personal information about himself, keeping the conversation on a surface level.
It was at that juncture once again that made me realise how reserved some people can be, keeping a lot to themselves. Do they have difficulty in opening up?
Upon such realisation, I’d fumble over my conversation, wondering what to talk about next. Do I choose general topics under the sun and not get overly personal with the reserved one, or do I continue to be myself?
I think I open up too easily at times, even a stranger would be forced to hear about my period cramps for the day or something, if he or she made friendly talk! Hahaha, perhaps I never know when to shut up?
It does make me wonder, all the time, whether my friends who are so reserved, are my real friends indeed, when I don’t know much about them, no matter how hard I try.

7 thoughts on “How Reserved is Reserved?”

  1. 1st.
    some ppl dont talk about their family/personal stuff. but it doesnt mean that they dont care. some friends can be counted on eventhough they dont share their story. under certain circumstances.. they probably dont feel comfortable sharing such info or probably to girls only. but to his guy friends…it might be diff case. 🙂

  2. You described him as a friend. Sounds more like an acquaintance actually. I wonder whether the dessert was in a one on one setting or a group setting… Different people have different reactions to different settings and different people too.

  3. maybe your friend is just a good listener. Rather let you talk instead of him.
    or maybe he’s like a friend of mine. Must think 10 times before saying something. damn kiasu. We call him robot.

  4. agree with visitor, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care. but just give time, once you hv their trust, they’re ready to open up 🙂

    i had to laugh at zing’s comment. robot!
    visitor: some friends tell me to ask more question, but after the first two initial questions aren’t answered properly, i tend to take it that he’s not comfortably talking bout his family, so i’ll just leave it as that.
    Low: i know, i did consider recategorising him as an acquaintance instead….. but he has good memory and remembers a lot of the things i’ve said. and that IS a good trait in a ‘friend’, right?
    stalker: got booking number hor.
    Jenny: maybe. i’m sure when the time comes and he needs someone to listen, he’ll come to me? aiyah, i’ll still be his friend, but i’ll try not to hog the conversation too much next time!! ;D

  6. /me welcomes bimbobum into the world of the socially inept and self concious.
    Please pick up your brochures at the door. Or not. It’s up to you really

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