Is it really love? Age doesn’t matter?

In light of xes’ post on Love, the question(s) on everyone’s mind is: Do big age gaps work well for relationships?
Older Men and Younger Women
Recently it was reported in The Star about the 84-year-old Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Yang Cheng Ning and his 30-year-old wife, Weng Fan.
The big age gap has never been an issue to them, Sin Chiew Daily reported.

“We have given new experiences and views to each other. My wife has introduced many young friends to me and I now have a better understanding of young people,” said Yang who married Weng two years ago.

Why do some girls/women ‘fall in love’ with a man older than her by 15 years or more?
1. She’s looking for husband material.
2. She feels there’s a sense of security that he’s settled down and less likely to fool around.
3. She’s actually in it for the money and a comfortable lifestyle.
4. She thinks she’s able to control him.
5. He has learned what physically, emotionally and intellectually satisfies a woman.
“Seasoned men will be more responsible, get things done and have a life beyond their relationship with you. They will not hang on your every word, nor pressure you for sex, but will truly appreciate the time they spend with you. They realize that in today’s busy and complicated world, time is precious.”
Need help understanding? Dating Older Men
Hollywood couple: Anna Nicole Smith and Howard Marshall II
Younger Men and Older Women
The first thing when I was told by a friend the one benefit of dating an older woman was the bedxercise – she’d be teaching him all the tricks in bed. ;P
The reasons for some people preferring this equation:
1. He is not condescending, due to her age and experience.
2. His body is in better shape.
3. She enjoys nurturing him.
4. He is not as competitive as compared to the men her age.
5. She has more sexual experience.
6. She likes the flexibility, and sense of adventurous in him.
7. He finds her more financially stable.
Hollywood couple: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake
Kind of more or less the same, don’t you think?
Money! Sex! Holidays! Luxury cars! Jewellery!
Weeee… something to look forward to, when you refer to security? Security in terms of material goods, too!
Now would I date someone 10 years older and above? 10 years younger? Hmmmm… I cannot imagine myself with a Sugar Mummy/Daddy, neither can I imagine being a Sugar Daddy/Mummy or Toy Boy, Baby Bimbo. MAYBE not now la. ;P
Funny thing is, what if the younger girl/boy sounds like a total bimbo due to lack of intelligent conversations? How does the older partner feel? I’d be bored if my younger partner keeps whining about broken finger nails, how she wants the new handbag and can i please please get it for her, or just MTV talk like “OMG! Beyonce is sooooo hot!” and all sorts – I’d die of eyeball cramps if i kept rolling my eyes at the mundane childish talk.
Like working men and schooling girls, how would their conversation go?
The Man: I’m so tired. Work was a b*tch today.
The Girl: Oh, okay. I give you a massage?
The Man: (desperate to unwind) My stupid boss gave me too much work today. Damn pissed off with the f*cker, man. I almost got the deal through, but the charts were showing a decrease in demand…… etc etc etc …
The Girl: (confused, but does her best to understand) Oh, quite stupid, right, your boss? Slap the f*cker la!
The Man: So, anyway, how was your day?
The Girl: Aiyo, my Chemistry teacher is such a b*tch, you know! Suddenly, she gave us a surprise test today. I didn’t study!!!! I’m going to fail. (pouts) And then this girl, remember I told you about this girl who’s so jealous about my popularity? Apparently she told everyone in school that I’m going out with a Sugar Daddy. I was soooooo pissed off, you know! Stupid girl just thinks she’s hotter than Christina Aguilera just because she can follow her dance steps … etc etc …
The Man: (nods, pretends to understand)

*Not everyone has such immature talk, I’m sure. No offence intended.
But wait a minute, talking about current affairs and politics and stock markets would probably bore me to hell, too. ;P
Does age matter to you?

21 thoughts on “Is it really love? Age doesn’t matter?”

  1. hrm..i dun think age is a matter..well not like TOO much la the age gap, old enough to be ur grandfather or grandmother, its jus plain weird.
    u can’t blame celebs, they’re different..they might be doing it for the sake of publicity.
    as for normal ppl like us or others..age isn’t really the question at all. it all up to the individuals whther they have feelings for each others or not.
    ME personally would prefer either older or younger than me 3 years, nth more, but it all depends whther i have feeeling for the person or not also XD

  2. statistic said… women lifespan are longer den men…
    so if younger men choose older women its good for each other…
    coz die also almost same time… wont be lonely for a long time =P
    no offence

  3. Many times, maturity has nothing to do with age. I believe the mental maturity factor is more important than the physical age itself. Oh, not to mention appearance. Dun mind a much younger man as long as he dun look it.

  4. Personally, I had no experience dating older man… and no intention to date younger men– but it happen to be that way.
    The youngest guy I’ve dated was 8 years younger.. The main reason it had ended becuz we didn’t really see future together (he just started his career and won’t be ready for having a family in 10 years, while I can’t wait that long) although we had great time and got along very well.
    I don’t think age matters for two people to get to know each other…but it does matter if they think about marriage.
    There are more than 2 people loving each other to make up a happy successful marriage, don’t u think so?

  5. Chaliz: “when a woman gets married to the man, she gets married to the mother in law too”
    From Monster in Law..starring Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda
    Talking about this…It is definite that when you get married to someone, u get married to the person’s family too…ie. Married to the Kellys, a sitcom on Astro.
    Justin timberlake and cameron diaz. Heck i tell u,…that’s a bad example…u give me cameron diaz, i’ll take her and i don’t care if she’s already 10 years older…she’s HAWT! *sweat*
    About Demi Moore,…..ok la she a bitttt too aunty…
    As for Anna Nicole, that we know is purely for the inheritance..the earlier the old men die, the better, cos the faster they get their money…

  6. Chaliz is right. It matters if they think bout marriage.
    For a guy, age is not a problem. What we look for in a lady:
    matured thinking (no more hello kitty conversation)
    intelligent (but you don’t need a degree in sub-atomic science to be one).
    sociable (not asking you go and seduce men, ok)
    don’t always urge the guy to get married.
    They guys will propose marriage if he think the time have come. To me, intellectual/intelligence is very important and is one of the “sort of” criteria i look in a girl. I’m not saying I’m of the albert einstein league, just that if a lady is not intelligent enough, very hard to communicate.
    Imagine someone who can’t even construct a decent SMS (short message).
    *just my 2 cents worth.

  7. endroo: hahahaah…i know what u mean man..she can wear LV, Gucci or Armani but when the mouth open….XIA XUEY betul…. suddenly people think all those are P.S Boutique stuff…mwahahha

  8. I’ve personally dated a man 10 years older than I do, because I wanted a “husband material” and he was “single”. 6 months down the road, I realized it was just for the big “S” despite all promises made. I realized it all, when he offered to buy a studio apartment up North (where I am), when he’s all the way down South. Oh, and a car and fixed allowances more than I could ever need. Hah. Foolish eh?
    I got shocked and ended the whole ‘relationship’ immediately. ShuCKsssssss….!!
    Come to think of it, I should’ve accepted the ‘gifts’ and s*crew him. LOL.

  9. insomnia: haha… i’ll keep that in mind next time ;P
    helen: i know! i’m wary of baby-faced people, especially when they’re older. so shy…. mental maturity, you’re right. went out with someone 4 years older who had mentality of a 21 yr old. blehh.
    chaliz: but there are some younger guys who are also keen in starting a family! except that they’re not ready financially… 8 years. wow. for the fun factor, i’m sure it’s a barrel of laughs when going out with younger folks.
    karheng: goodness, i’m terrified of the horrible in-laws *touch wood*
    endroo: what if you’re in your 30’s and it’s already been 4 years you’re together? surely marriage would on their minds for some? imagine those who’ve been together for 7 years? by the time i realise (hypothetically speaking) that the r-ship is going NOWHERE and i’m going to be 40 with sagging bum and all, i should be allowed to issue an ultimatum? ;P
    then don’t forget for a women she has to give birth to children to carrry on his ancestry. ;P
    nismo: hehe. sometimes it’s easier said than done. i’m not a cold-blooded person and even in a r-ship before, i’ve never demanded material goods and all, and unfortunately, the previous partners have never showered with me those either. *sobs* i don’t know if it’s a good thing or not, but i’d love to be pampered most of the time AND know my part too. i’m a very loyal person. but that’s another story. ;D

  10. karheng: yeah. very xia xuey. How beautiful also no use already.. cannot take her out to meet friends.
    bimbo: I mean is that those who are still young. A friend of mine brokeup with the ex-gf because of this. See, he was 25 and she was 27. She kept urging him to marry her. Come on… he just entered working world for a year or two after studying abroad and so fast someone asking you to get married. Where to get the money? Its not that guy are not sensitive about women’s “aging” and “best before date” but this is just plain nuisance. both still in 20s and already like that. At least think about the guy’s hardship. Where to die the money for wedding? If the guy is rich, then its ok to pest him for marriage coz he might spend all the money on birds. To some… the chinese weddings are so damn expensive and unnecessary. Still liked those of the westerners… behind the backyard/garden, put a few chairs, call the priest to bla bla bla and voila. Man and wife. Exchange the ring & you may kiss the bride.
    If both guy and girl in late 20s (28,29..30), then its understandable. Then for sure if the guy love that girl, he would try to workout on the money if he wanna have the wedding chinese way. Its hard to explain.

  11. bimbo: sai erm sai ar…advertising yourself ke? Hehehe…got wolf x ar….bobo ar…waiting for u…;P
    hahaha endroo…i paling beh tahan those which like to curse in every sentence one…makes them so …..lacking in finesse…….
    btw…chinese weddings are expensive…but normally that’s why the red samans are there for….to help subsidize all of that……western weddings are nice too but they’re not cheap btw….the garden arch, the rental of the place, the wine and drinks, the flowers, the food, the band…i think western ones, if done well would cost MORE than a chinese one anytime…

  12. Before u imagine me as Demi Moore, I have the right to clarify the 8 years difference 😛
    The guy was actually very mature in the way he think and talk and partially his look :)… when we first knew each other we didn’t start by asking how old we were, but began with good conversation…. anywayyyy..
    Bimbo: yes..some young guys are keen to get married… but that doesn’t always mean he’s mature enough to get married.

  13. Hello,
    Would a guy marry a girl who’s divorced and 5 years older than he is? What would a woman look for in a relationship when she is 30?
    Haha, maybe i shouldn’t ask so many question, just curiosity. Think the most important thing is that they click. If they get on well enough and love each other enough, i’m sure they’ll work something out.

  14. chaliz: yup. i read somewhere that even some women are so excited about marriage, cos of the wedding day, but they forget to think what happens after the wedding day. not prepared for it either.
    David: 1st question – this one, gotta ask the guys. 2nd question – stability and security for most. ;P

  15. I am a 23 year old adult, man, boy in a man’s body whatever you want to say. but I have a problem, I have two friends, a girl that is 18 already and we used to have strong feelings for each other, my mom helped my feelings out by taking a visit to this girl’s house, but the police got called on my mother and I was home sleeping. My girl that I still hope for, and hoping that we will have a future together, we have planned several things together, I had got threatened by her adopted father to stay away or be put locked up for the rest of my life. But the strange thing about this is he is a officer of the sheriffs department. So what happened is he incested, another words he wanted her for himself. We were so happy together, the emotions she showed against me, the way were happy toward each other, and she went away because of what happened between her parents and me. She couldn’t stand it so she told her counselor of what happened, well they sent her away to another home, in which I have seen, spoken to her, no communication whatsoever. I have not given up on her no matter what age I am. we were too happy together. I tried several times talking to my mother about it, a counselor, strangers, a psychiatrist everything from a social service worker from bottom to top, but no one understands, but sure enough this excuse me but fuckin fucked up government that we have they could get away with murder and they still have their jobs like normal people. I just don’t get it how this system works that the white men run in this world, country. Yet another problem, I have this other friend that we feel close too. well I feel close too. She has pretty much nobody to talk to her, no attention, and I met her at this youth group at a christian church. She has problems with her grandparents, and alcohol yes child neglect yes, everything you probably could think of. and the only thing that stops us apparently is my age, and her age. I feel like nobody wants to listen. This world that we live in is nothing but the devil. Yes age is a difference, but ain’t in many ways. The way I did research on this particular subject, As long as you are happy with the person, not to young, where they are still growing up, but enough to know the difference. I know what is up in this strange and nasty world. I don’t trust anybody for myself. But that’s me. THis girl is 15 coming August 3 2006, I am 23 we are happy together, but nobody sees that except a couple of friends of mine that are younger than I also. But they all know how I am I have way too much respect for girls, just the way I grew up and the way my mother raised me. I thank her sooo much I am trying to get a life to help her sooo much for all she has done for me. But her grandparents don’t see that. My first girl Denise Nicole Hartman, and my other close friend Nicole Smith. These two girls besides my mother are the only 2 that I care about PERIOD, Me and Nicole have a couple of things in common, we are on our own for one thing, our age is a little different, but we care about each other, her grandparents, just listen to what is being said about me, but they don’t know the whole story, yes find someone my age. Well sorry I greatly deeply apologize, but everyone grows up in their own way. I grew up around younger people than me. change how. I like love and have strong emotional feelings for this Nicole Smith, her grandparents don’t give attention, She knows how I feel about her. I won’t give up on her. BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS, I pray to GOD everynight since I haven’t seen her. Seems like GOD is answering somehow. I feel for her, she feels lonely as much I feel for her, and as lonely as she does. But what can I do. I was thinking that this will get somewhere. trouble I can live with that, but trying to get my life back on track going to college, trying my hardest to get into the military to get a life. And making my moms dream come true and having a career. man there are alot of things I am trying to accomplish in my life. Someone please respond to this email or comment. I need help suggestions something. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. I have a strong heart, but also a sensitive one. I have way to much respect towards girls, yes words don’t mean anything, but I don’t speak words that much, I am nothing but action. Everytime I visit my friend I always have to watch out. Her grandfather will chase me, and of course I will run. I don’t like trouble especialy for girls. but what can I do to help her. I want to spend time with her. She could trust me in so many ways, but she doesn’t talk to anyone that much. She has an aunt nearby in our town, she visits, that is the only other relative she visits and is close to her also. Her mom knows about me, of course that what Nicole says, and I believe her. I have talked to my mom, my sister, and find someone your own age. Well they don’t understand where I come from. Well I think I said enough, I hope that this will come to someone down the road. I just don’t think I am tooo old for her. I can give her the attention, whatever she needs I am willing to do it. PLEASE SOMEONE WHO READS THIS HELP ME, PLEASE! !!! please, please, please help me! !!! REMEMBER PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS AND SO DO WE !!! TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN! !!! please let this comment get to someone, I am from Trinidad, Colorado 81082. I hope that this will be heard! !!! have a nice day

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