Timothy & Kabien’s Wedding – Part I

Finally, after 10 years of courtship, high school friends Timothy and Ka Bien have tied the knot. Our weekend was filled with pre-wedding dinner events such as bachelor’s night and the ‘chip san leong’ ceremony. I think I spent around RM1000 for drinks during the bachelor’s night and angpow. So poor.

In Chinese tradition, prior to the wedding dinner, the groom has to head to the bride’s home to ‘collect’ his bride. In Cantonese, this is called ‘chip san leong’.

The groom will appoint a few guys (heng tai – brother in Cantonese, and not hentai) to accompany him to the bride’s house. The bride, on the other hand, will appoint a few evil girls (chi mui – sister in Chinese) to protect the bride from the groom and the heng tai. The evil chi mui will plot all sorts of evil task to make the groom and heng tai suffer before the groom can get his bride.

Our attire was white shirt, black slacks and a pink tie (provided by Timothy). Before the “chip san leong” ceremony could start, the heng tais already had a hard time getting up reaching Timothy’s house at 730AM on a Sunday morning.


Timothy’s house

Timothy’s ride was a beige 1950s Jaguar 2.4 litre MK I, a classic car which he found on the internet.

By 9AM, we reached Ka Bien’s house. The front entrance was barricaded by the evil chi muis, all dressed in pink. With them, a list of tasks was prepared for the heng tai to perform before they could proceed to ‘collect’ Ka Bien.


The first task was to put 9 ‘mantou’ (bread) into 10 heng tais’ mouth. Wai Keong miraculously stuffed 7 or 8 mantou into his mouth. The rest of us overcame the stupid task by either (1) rolling the 9 mantou into a huge ball and stuff one part of the ball into our mouth, (2) with the same idea, put a mantou into the mouth and the rest piled it on top of the first mantou and (3) throw the mantou away while the chi muis are not looking.


Wai Keong – mantou no 4


9 mantous – shaped like a ball


Wisma Mantou Tower

For the second task, the heng tais had to line up in 2 rows – left and right row facing each other. Thereafter, the heng tais had to put two boiled egg yolks into their mouth, chew them and start singing some stoopid song with the lyrics, “bilibalalala”.

The ultimate aim of this task is to get each hengtai spurt out egg yolk on each other. But before the task was completed, the heng tais grabbed the chi muis and started spewing mashed egg yolks on their face.


Aftermath

The fourth task was to eat some sort of biscuit shaped like a stick. I don’t know what happened but suddenly the hengtais grabbed one of the chi muis and did umm..some stuff to her.

The fifth and sixth tasks were pretty mild. The fifth was just to tie some fruits on to Ban Thong and Hen.


Before erection


After ‘Erection’

The sixth was to eat wasabi tong yuen (dumpling). We dumped the tong yuen into Him’s bowl and returned the bowl to the chi muis citing that its bad luck to finish up everything.

To be continued..

7 thoughts on “Timothy & Kabien’s Wedding – Part I”

  1. thats not too bad compared with my cousin’s ceremony…
    forced to wear diapers
    forced to dig out puzzles @ diaper full of shyt
    marriage is SCARY!!!
    so prefer ang moh way 😛

  2. insomnia: yuck! diaper full of shit!!! i think to make it worst, cannot wash hands! must eat something with hands!! kekeke
    Darren: eat raw bat kidneys! yay!
    Amos: dont shot gun u know 😛
    Kink&earear: kekeke when the time is right!

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