after the first date

well, we have somehow managed to conclude that guys should pay for the first date and girls should offer to pay their share (just make the gesture); and if there is a subsequent date, the girls should buy coffee or dessert.
what comes next? some of the things i have been ‘taught’ or advised are as follows:
(i) if he follows up with a text message or a phone call right after your date, he’s interested.
(ii) if he calls again within the week after your date, he’s interested.
(he calls to chat, not to ask you out)
(iii) if he calls within the week, mid-week to be exact, to ask you out for a date on friday or saturday – BEWARE!

why? WHY??
apparently, it could be because:
(a) he has no other friends – a sad case to be asking you out during the weekend;
(b) he’s a player, just stringing you along;
(c) ok, so he’s pretty interested, but isn’t it too soon, too fast?

funny, right? even i’m confused. how do we actually verify situation (b) or (c) if we don’t even go on a few more dates? oh, and if it’s (c), girls should say no, perhaps another time – tell it to him gently. you’re not rejecting him totally, if you’re interested. but you must get on with your own life, do your own things with your friends during the weekend.
and then i was advised that girls should never call the guys out for the second date. NEVER. according to rule #30 of the Official Dating Guide Book*. that is within the week after the first date, i mean.
why? because then the girl is showing signs of being INTERESTED. girls must let the guys do a bit of chasing, before showing a bit of interest. if not, the guy gets big-headed about it. and may lose interest quickly. (but after two weeks and he still hasn’t called, then yes, you may call him just to have a quick chat, THAT’s ALL – need to find out if the guy is still interested or not. ;P)
it’s a headache, i tell you. i never knew dating could be this complicated.
out of boredom, i actually clicked on “DATING TIPS” on the other day. ;P i only read ONE article, because …. it felt really silly to be reading tips like that when it’s all common sense. hehe. however, that article advised girls not to show too many positive signals as the guys may immediately panic, suffocate and drop dead.
apparently they can’t take it, because they freak out easily, too – thinking that girls have already labelled them a couple, planning weekends and their future, screaming “I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!!” to the whole entire world.
the irony of it – if you don’t flash any positive signals, they’ll think you’re not interested or you’re a playgirl – using and abusing them (i.e. too many guys to choose from, too). if you show any, you’re clingy, possessive, etc.
arranged marriages are hassle-free, i guess.
* i don’t know if this exists. Dating for Dummies, got la. ;P

21 thoughts on “after the first date”

  1. hahaha…dear bimbobum. I read your posts its like you are 14 and about to date your 1st guy and nervous about it but i’m sure this is not the case and you already had countless boyfriends. Weird lah. haha.
    If like like la. Follow your girly instincts. Guys will follow their guy instincts. If you both click, wham bam shag, you’ve got yourself a couple. If not, then only the complicated business of “avoiding him without hurting him too much” ensues. But that’s only when there’s a 1 way road. If totally NO ENTRY then no probs also.
    (all this coming from a single guy…maybe i’m doing things wrong 😛 )
    *hint hint to bimbobum*

  2. after being attached for so long…i feel like i need to feel the excitement of being court again…*sigh*…how those folks get themselves into marriage??? :-S
    anyways…bimbobum…chill out…maybe u should just go with ur heart and not your head…saves u a lot of energy thinking..and u might just enjoy yourself more..

  3. wolfx: erm, but frank’s attached… i’ll see how i can matchmake you and him la. ;P
    mongo: trust me, friends do all the thinking for you when you confide in them BEFORE you do something. ;P
    karheng: 😉
    frOstie: frank’s or xes’s? hehehe.
    peggy: am currently not dating anyone laaa …. but thanks. ;P

  4. go with instinct if u think you are young and can afford a few more bumps and scratches along the road. 🙂 thats the wonders of a relationship.

  5. going! but always debating with friends this and that. girls seem to have more dating rules than guys. ;P

  6. Even if i am gay i won’t go out with fank. No offence ya fank? 😉
    (maybe i’d consider Xes….he look like he has a toight ass from all that shuffling…ngek ngek)
    But 1s choice bimbobum. So so so, bila we go dating? I promise to pay for the roti tisu we’ll be sharing. 😉

  7. arranged marriages — either u believe in mutual benefit, or u think u can grow to love someone…
    i wonder, can there be true happiness from arranged marriages ?

  8. *eheheheh at xes’ answer*
    whyrl: i’m sure they say “grow to love” for some, and some not so good kua.

  9. Though some might think it sounded like a teenager’s blog 🙂
    but I found it’s so true on the second to last paragraph… yes I used to show “too much interested” and the guy got freaked out…
    On the other hand, I used to stay cool+ keep calm, and the guy resisted himself to ask me out as it seemed like he was only little one in my guys collection!!

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