Hell!

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different.
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

8 thoughts on “Hell!”

  1. Heee… I guess Teresa ‘Oh My God’ was u tat time. 😛 Hey, wat a cool answer from the student, wat a cool Q from the sensei. Saw one short drama be4, bout how Heaven too full, no more new entries, and the moment the news was casted in Earth, all humans started to do all bad things. Then, when Hell too full, everyone started to do all good wills. Hmm… seem like a normal senario Homo sapiens are so afraid to die.

  2. wow. i was startin 2 get REALLY freaked out by how frank cud actually post up a meaningful, profound article. until i reached d final paragraph. yep. frankfurt o frankfurt, u havent lost ur touch yet. keep it up! =)

  3. fish fish: I saw this jap anime call Bleach. The jap believes that the good soul will goes to a place call Soul Society and the bad one goes to hell of cos. Then, there are souls that wonder around the world. Those souls live in a place between heaven and earth. I guess when the heaven and hell is full, we will have to stay in that world between heaven and hell, which is a lousy place.
    iHafnObaLLz: I didn’t write the article lar. Some smart ass in American wrote it…hehehehe.
    rych: Thanks Rich. =)

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