My Grandmother is Under-fed

Chinese New Year is the only time I see most of my relatives and my grandmother. It also makes me think of my grandmother a lot. Last year, she had a stroke which put everyone in a state of panic. Since then, she seems rather frail and weak.
She used to be so lively and energetic, she ate well whenever she stayed with my family and I. But since the stroke, she hasn’t been herself and lately, I have been thinking whether my relatives have been ill-treating her. She stays with my relatives.
She claims that she doesn’t eat much anymore and has lost interest in her favourite food, saying that she’s too lazy to even peel an apple! We’ve asked her if she eats her favourite food or fruits regularly, but she says that it’s difficult to get them cheap and my relatives can’t seem to buy them for her.
But when she visits my family, we notice she eats well and walks around without help. Should any of my aunt or uncle be around, she suddenly needs help while walking even across the room!
Faking weakness.
We think that my aunt and uncle who she stays with don’t bother making sure that my grandmother is eating well. They seem more concerned about buying 4-D numbers and making money. They even grumble when they have to bring my grandmother for her medical check-ups!
As the years grow older, I realise I tend to be more emotional. I tear up when I see my grandma who used to have such glowing health reflected on a face, now haggard and old.
Also, I wish I could tell my aunt and uncle to feed my grandmother! But you have to respect your elders, don’t you?
So I keep quiet and try to feed my grandmother with her favourite food when I visit.
p.s. I also suspect that my aunt and uncle are not willing to spend money on food for my grandmother! It’s not about shark’s fin soup or abalone and scallops!

13 thoughts on “My Grandmother is Under-fed”

  1. Why don’t you bring the matter up to your parents or something? That’s seriously sad, to be neglected by your own children or relatives. At least let her live out her days without worry and surrounded by the people who really care for and love her.

  2. She is your grandmother for fucks sake ! So what if your uncle and aunty is your elder ? Doesnt mean they are right.. If they are mistreating your grandmother, stand up for her !!

  3. This is so wrong, ur uncle and aunty should respect the old folk and treat them as good as possible, tressure evry minute that they spend with her, cuz we don’t know when she’ll leave the world…Stand up for ur grandma bimbo…

  4. Bimbobum, I know how you feel. I think your my granma had the same thing like your grandma. From getting stroke to ill treatment from my uncle and especially his fooking wife. Sorry, i can’t find any other term to describe his wife.
    What I regret most is that… thinking back of her love when I was a kid… she cared/jaga/babysit me and my cousin. After my family moved away from hometown, I rarely see her… though I’m the one who take her for medical check-ups.
    Imagine, old folk staying with her son and family…. where the son gotta go to work and often go outstation… and the fooking wife treat you like shit. Luckily my grandad was around to take care of her. My aunt (the wife) dont cook for the old folks and she’s like just another housemate. You have your own business and I have my own business. Something like that. And my uncle is also a chicken… although the rest of the family have no beef with him… just his wife. She dont even treat her children well. Geez. She can do something like having a territory perimeter in the house. The toilet on the second floor is her’s and of course the ground floor toilet was my granpdparents’. Aunt won’t even clean their toilet. They even have their own rice cooker, stove and other kitchen stuffs, cutleries and utensils. I think you have a rough idea how shitty it was. I can write a few volumes of books about the real situation.
    Well, all i can say is that, try to visit your granparents more and especially someone who’s ill. They dont need your money or glittering metals, they just need your attention and care. Your love. Old folks are like that. When they reach certain age… they’ll start to get being very childish. They just want your love. Show them love. Its normal because they always think that they may leave the world anytime.
    Now both my granddad and grandma is gone. After my grandad’s gone, my grandma was treated worse by my aunt. Even my dad fooked my uncle but to no avail. My grandma finally can’t take it anymore, depressions and ill treatment and loneliness. She got a second stroke (after 10 years) and was gone. It happened in the middle of the nite and she didnt tell any last word to any of us. ;(
    Bimbobum, show your grandma more love. It can be simple things. Just buy them some food they like… visit them, ask them about their younger days, get the old photo album and ask her who’s who in the pictures etc. Or else you will regret big time… like me.
    Oh, by the way, I hope you don’t post anything of this nature in the future. I wept. Seriously.

  5. endroo G: thanks for your comment. i appreciate it. well, i was feeling a bit down and helpless after visiting my grandma, so i wrote that. sorry if you felt bad. *hugs*
    my family have long guessed that my grandma is not hiding her unhappiness behind a mask, she doesn’t admit what’s wrong, to protect my aunt and uncle – she doesn’t want anyone to think that she’s not well taken care of.
    we have invited her to stay with us, since she was discharged from the hospital, and she did brighten up. however, she hasn’t taken up our offer since then.
    the funny thing is, my aunt and uncle keep telling us that my grandma’s appetite has decreased and is not interested in food. we noticed, actually, that the food they cook at home is bland and unappetising – how can my grandma eat?
    when she visits us, she eats heartily, like she hasn’t eaten for years. it’s true!
    but anyway, i guess i should do a better job of convincing her to visit my family and i more often. 😉

  6. accidently read yr blog..make me think of my grandmother…she was facing the same problem as well…but she already passed away…i miss her much…..

  7. Bimbobum, I think you should bring your grandma to stay with you. hehe.. or at least, must visit her more. If not, phone calls wud do 🙂
    do what you must do now, or later the regret will come.. Imagine when we’re old and our sons/in laws treat us like that. Hurts a lot..

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