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Diana’s (Melody’s dog) condition is getting worse and worse. She’s been coughing and wheezing loudly and refused to eat food and medicines. Thinking that the medicines we gave her are making her condition worse, we brought her to another vet. As usual, we followed the same procedure – we wrapped her ass in a plastic bag and newspapers on the car floor.
The journey to the vet was a hectic one due to the fact that we lost our way and nasty traffic jams. Diana was nervous and the first thing she did was pee on the floor again. Thank god the janitors cleaned it up immediately.
As soon as Diana was brought into a room, the doctor shoveed a thermometer up her ass (to take her temperature). And as soon I entered the room, one of the staff handed me a piece of paper consisting the cost of the treatment. It cost about RM380! Melody was reluctant to pay such a high price for it and asked the doctor about how long Diana could live without treatment (Mind you, Diana is 11 years old). She answered with a miserable 1 or 2 months. We decided to accept all the services offered, which included an xray, blood test, urea test, and consultation but decided to exclude boarding which amounted to outrageous rm150 for 3 days. The x-ray gave us a clearer view on what was happening to Diana. Her heart is bigger than normal and her lungs are clogged with fluids. The doctor advised us to continue with the medicines that were given to us previously and to come back tomorrow for more.

Seremban, the capital of Negeri Sembilan (one of the 13 states of Malaysia) is well known for its delicious food. It is about 45 minutes away from Kuala Lumpur. Melody and I had an eating spree in Seremban this morning. We wanted to start it with its famous Beef noodles (it’s much different from the one in Kuala Lumpur, it has peanuts and thick sauce in it!) but it wasn’t open. Disappointed, we decided to have Hakka mee instead. It was good but we still prefer beef noodles. Feeling peckish, we bought a piece of toasted bread heavily spread with butter and thick kaya (coconut egg jam) as dessert. The sun was scorching hot and we were dying for something to cool down, we searched for ice kacang (shredded ice topped with mixture of syrup and red beans, nuts etc on the bottom) The tiny little shop, operated by an elderly women is located inside a small food court. The electric powered rusty ice shredder spins and slices the ice loudly. Melody and I enjoyed every single bit of it! Next destination, the bakery! Their layer cake looks good but when we tasted it, it wasn’t as good as it looks. We wanted to end the eating spree with a cool sugar cane juice with asam boi (cured prunes) but it seems that the stall wasn’t open today. How unfortunate! Yet again disappointed, we headed home with a vow to return to Seremban for another eating spree.

My Australia backpacking trip plan is almost finalized. I will be arriving and spending a week in Brisbane first. Then I will head to Melbourne by passing Sydney and Canberra. I will be staying in Sydney and Canberra for couple of days before leaving for each destination. Brisbane to Sydney would take 15 hours; Sydney to Canberra would take 5 hours and finally Canberra to Melbourne would take 8 hours (all by train).

Football wasn’t that good. The sun was scorching hot and the pitch is lousy. The pitch used to be a rubbish dump before it turned into a park. There are still bits and pieces of remaining rubbish on the pitch! The park used to be crowded with people everyday but after the park management imposed a RM1.50 entrance fee, it became virtually deserted. We started off with an energetic game, however towards the end everybody could barely run anymore. Few of us suffered injuries. Ping Sheong got his hand and feet bruised and I got my knee bruised too. Furthermore, my right leg is aching now, I cant even drive properly! Despite all the unfortunate events this morning, the game was good and we had plenty of fun.
– 3:21PMIt’s Melody and my 1 year 6 months anniversary today! We celebrated with a jug of Margarita at 1957, Sri Hartamas. We were able to finish the whole jug within half an hour and we started talking nonsense and laughing non stop. And by the end of the night, we were quite drunk. Thank god I could still drive her back home and back to my place.
I have to wake up early in the morning later. My friends and i are gonna play football.
– 3:15AM

Melody’s dog has been diagnosed with heartworm. The disease is a fatal one where it affects the dog’s heart. Diana is 7 years old and slightly overweight (about 9kgs and we had problem carrying her). According to Melody, Diana hates the vet and would start peeing and shiver if brought there. We had to wrap plastic bags around her ass before we put her into my car so that she doesn’t pee or shit on my car. The vet gave her an injection and loads of medicines for her to eat. The treatment will take a long time and not a guaranteed successful treatment. The vet said that there might be a 10 to 20 percent chance that she might die from the medication itself but she will definitely die if not treated. We have to bring her back to the vet for intensive care for 4 days in 2 weeks time! We took the opportunity to borrow a nail clipper from the vet. Melody had not been cutting Diana’s nails for years and it seems that Diana’s nails had grown so long that it curled 720 degrees! After all the fuss, we finally let Diana run around freely. The first thing she did was, pee on the floor. Thank god the vet didn’t went berserk. The bill came up to an outrage RM130.
– 6:08AM

Dealing with 2 Assholes…Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know.Take it out on someone you DON’T know.

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialled it.

A man answered saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled “You’re an asshole!” and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word “asshole,” and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I’d call him up.

He’d answer, and I’d yell, “You’re an asshole!” It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea.

I dialled his number and when I heard his voice, “Hello?” I made up a name. “Hi. I’m with the Telephone Company and I’m just calling to see if you’d be interested in our caller ID program?” “No!” he shouted and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”
(Keep reading this, it gets better!)

An old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.

“Great”, I thought, “she’s finally leaving.” All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, “You can’t do that. I was here first!” The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping centre as if I didn’t even exist. I thought to
myself, “This guy’s another asshole; there sure are a lot of assholes in this world.” Then, I noticed he had a “For Sale” sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone number. Then, I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I’m sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, “You’re an asshole!” (It’s really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I’d better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings, someone answered the phone and said, “Hello.”
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can you tell me where I can see it?”
“Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s
parked right out front.”
I said, “What’s your name?”
“My name is Don Hansen.”
“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I’m home in the evenings.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Sure…” “Don, you’re an asshole!” And I slammed the phone down.

Then, I added Don Hansen’s number to my speed dialler. I must say, for a
while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now, when I had a
problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of calling
the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn’t as enjoyable as it used
to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with this
solution:
First, I had my phone speed dial asshole #1.
A man answered nicely, “Hello?”
I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” but I didn’t hang up.
The asshole said, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He said, “Stop calling me.”
I said, “Make me, asshole.”
He said, “What’s your name, pal?”
So I told him, “Don Hansen.”
He said, “Where do you live?”
“1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and my black BMW’s parked out
front.”
“I’m coming over right now, Don. You’d better start saying your prayers.”
“Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole!” and I hung up.
Then I called asshole #2.
Don Hansen answered, “Hello?”
I said, “Hello, asshole.”
He said, “If I ever find out who you are…”
“You’ll what?”
“I’ll kick your ass.”
“Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now, asshole.”

And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802, West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day.
– 5:58PMMen in Black II is great but a bit confusing. It’s better if I could remember Men in Black I clearly before watching Men in Black II.
– 3:34AMNighttime. Day 2
Anyone who has been to Thailand never fails to mention tiger shows (sex shows) and ah kua shows (transvestite shows). Wawa offered to take us to an ah kua show for 700 baht (rm70) which includes dinner and an hour of traditional dance at a place called Mambo (located somewhere near Sukumpit rd). The traditional dance wasn’t that interesting and the narrator speaks lousy English. We couldn’t understand a word she says! An hour later, the real show begins. We had good seats which were 2 rows away from the stage! Furthermore, the show was great! The transvestites were dancing and singing on the stage, Broadway style! Not every transvestite looks exactly like a woman. Only couple of them are pretty! There is one that I really like. He looked like a Hong Kong actress! Approximately one hour later, the show ends and photo sessions are held outside the building. Melody wanted to take a picture with one of the funny transvestite. He was happy to take with us. We then headed to another group of transvestite and took a picture with them. However, this time, they demanded a tip and were very adamant with it. I had to fork out 20 baht for each of them. Greedy fuckers. I was looking for my favourite transvestite and he was happily there standing waiting for people to take pictures with him. While I was trying to pose, I accidentally bumped my elbow onto his so-called breast. It was as hard as a rock! I paid him 20 baht and left the place feeling disgusted.
We headed to the sex show next. Wawa kept on telling us not to try any stunts performed in the sex show. As usual, sex shows are boring but this is much better than those I saw in Amsterdam. The girls aren’t that pretty but the things they do are extraordinary. Initially it was just some stripping, heterosexual sex and lesbian acts but soon it turned into a circus show. One of the girls started to perform fire eating. Another one had sharp razors tied on a string and started to pull them out from her pussy. The rest of their acts were common. They had pussy popping ping-pong balls, cigarettes smoking pussy (the girl offered one of the half smoked cigarettes to a guy and he eventually puffed it) etc. No wonder Wawa told us not to try any stunts.
– 3:33AM

I’m still working on my Thailand trip details.

guess who is this? hehe