Wedding @ Felda Chemomoi

My Malay colleague F invited me to his wedding @ Felda Chemomoi, at the state of Pahang. A Felda estate is a small village with basic amenities. It was established by the government to resettle the rural poor.
The journey to Felda Chemomoi was filled with uncertainty. The map that F printed on his invitation card doesn’t reflect the real route. The directions that he depicted on his map were quite straight forward. However, it wasn’t that straight forward, my car had to endure 1 ½ hour of windy trunk roads and hills. It was like driving into a jungle. By the end of the trip, I found my back tyres bald.
After a 3 hours journey (was expecting it to be 1 1/2 – 2 hours!), we reached Felda Chemomoi to find that F’s wedding was already over! But yet he invited us to his house and gave us some food.
We sat on the floor together with F’s wife and 2 of her village mates. We smiled at F’s wife and continued eating. We didn’t exchange any words.

The venue


F then came over to chat with me and thereafter his wife said, “Ehhh.. you guys are colleagues? I thoughts you guys got lost in this Felda estate and dropped by for a meal!”. The bride thought we were strangers who got lost and decided to drop by for a meal. O_O”

Inside
The food was great but there were too many flies around. I wonder how anyone could cope with all these flies around. I was so tempted to buy a can of pesticide and to kill all those little buggers.
Then I had to take a leak.
F: You nak toilet biasa atau luar biasa? (Do you want to go to an extraordinary toilet or ordinary toilet?)
Me: Err..toilet luar biasa tu Jamban?? Apa-apa la. (extraordinary toilet is a jamban? (a toilet which is placed outside the house) Anything la)
So he brought me to the kitchen, into a toilet with a tub filled with water and a washing machine on the other side. He then left me alone to do my business. I stood there in the toilet, with the door open, looking left and right for the most essential fixture. I thought to myself, “WHERE IS THE TOILET BOWL???”. Then I saw a hole right between my legs. A HOLE JUST RIGHT ENOUGH TO FIT AN ARM.
I had no idea what to do. Should I piss in to the hole?? But there are clothes lying next to the hole! What if I missed and peed on the clothes???
Then I decide not to do my business there left the ‘toilet’.
F greeted me as I walked out from the room.
F: Dah?? (Done??)
Me: YAYA! DONE!
F then showed me the gifts that his wife gave him. It was pretty interesting. There were various gifts inside transparent boxes including shoes, clothes, chocolate and even a jelly cake. He told me that during Muslim’s (or is it Malay?) wedding, the bride and groom exchange gifts. F gave his wife various gifts as well. I remember seeing shoes, towel and even fruits!

The gifts!
After bidding F and his family goodbye, I rushed to the toilet at a small Esso station.

Only 2 pumps!
On the side of the petrol station, there was a small surau and another annex. The annex is a small room with a tap with running water. It has no basin, no decoration and no lights! All it has is the said tap and a small drain. Without hesitation, I did my business and then I realised something. Usually when Muslims pray in the surau, they would wash their hands and feet and usually this is done at a special area. And that place could be the PLACE where I am PEEING.
So there I was, peeing to a drain with thoughts of villagers barging into the room screaming “WOOOII!!! JANGAN KENCING!! (STOP PISSING!!)”. Fortunately, nobody no one barged into the room. And I am quite sure it’s a toilet!

22 thoughts on “Wedding @ Felda Chemomoi”

  1. now only i know doraemon-san drive an iswara =P
    but i also driving iswara its ok =))
    well that extra ordinary toilet…hehe in penang got alot, when i visit my fren who stay in kampung kampung area in penang(jelutung)

  2. Hmmm..wierd…i go into felda a few times a year
    i don’t go thro these winding roads that you talk about. Maybe diffrent part. Felda reserve is so big!
    Most of the roads are straight and long but narrow. The curvy roads must be the super kampung area. But damn shiok to drive…no car one..Mwahahaha..just that occasionaly u must jaga jaga otherwise got lembu come out of nowhere….

  3. AHAHAHAHAAHAHAH… so lucky you can tahan your pee! erm, why didn’t you ask for the luar biasa one? ;P
    wah, doraemon ringtone some more. i hope your phone rings in court den everyone laughs at you. ;P hehehe

  4. FINALLY..some1 feeling wut i’m feeling..i had almost the same experince also..at a wedding.but this is my sister’s wedding..she married a malay guy and they’re having it in Seremban bushes…i only went there 1 time only and i swear to myself neva to go back there again no matter wut..
    Xes ur lucky u dun have bad roads to drive..for mine..i have no good roads..we need to hike down to the bushes like…15 mins..mosquito is raping me whole day..meal is ok though (i dun mind malay food)..but heck the flies..its like their party too..b4 all the things end..me and the bride (my sister) cabut early saying tat i’m sick n i gotta go back hotel..n my sister came along XD

  5. karheng: the felda estate was like in the middle of the jungle!
    frank: next time i show u a picture of a doraemon car whahaha
    Abalonedevil: what do you mean bushes? you mean they had the wedding reception inside a jungle? or was it just a small village?
    bimbobum: i thought luar biasa was for big business!! kekeke

  6. its a small village for sure..its so small tat they have like 3 Kg houses there only..theres no roads or smth, so we have to walk thru the plantation to get to the small village & the hse..luckily it wasn’t at night..then we have to bring our own lights cause theres NO lights on the way to the hse (thru the plantation).damn scary!

  7. That was one helluva wedding experience. But *salute* man! I bet I wouldn’t even go there in the first place. But that’s just me.
    I guess in the future, you could say to him “Hey, I went through alot for you k?” >> So gay 😀 Just right for ya. tee hee hee.
    *no offence yeah? just kiddin’*

  8. That was one helluva wedding experience. But *salute* man! I bet I wouldn’t even go there in the first place. But that’s just me.
    I guess in the future, you could say to him “Hey, I went through alot for you k?” >> So gay 😀 Just right for ya. tee hee hee.
    *no offence yeah? just kiddin’*
    ps: i hope this doesnt appear more than once. cause it didnt appear the first time i submitted it.

  9. yeah..i agree with being adventurous and open minded. Only then, will you see what you’ve never seen nor even thought about. Adds more colours to your life too!

  10. damn! now it appears! like 3 times!! wth. *shy*
    bimbobum: i reloaded the page, and it didn’t appear. that’s why. 🙁
    luckily i put a ps. sorry!!
    what? don’t all toilets have one hole? *confused*

  11. Hello,
    I just think visiting the outskirts is an incredibly humbling experience be it an old rubber estate settlement, Chinese New Village or a Felda settlement. We would normally visit some of my relatives during Chinese New Year and i’m quite a city boy so feel a bit weird. But now that i’m older, i sort of realised why Dad always insists on those visits to where he spent his childhood.
    Just my two cents. Damn i miss my Dad!

  12. doh..obviously that one is not ur car..why would u expose ur car to outsiders leh
    wah..freaky leh…drive so far..makan makan then balik..
    u r a nice friend…

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