moving on quickly!

i can never understand why some people can jump into a new relationship right after the last break up. within a week of breaking up, some girls/guys can get a new boyfriend/girlfriend immediately. why???? it wasn’t just a short term fling, you know. some are years of steady relationship. e.g. 3, 4 or 6 years of relationship.
i’d suspect the girl already had this thing going on with the new boyfriend while she was still seeing the old one, and that may have lead to the break up. i.e. cheating on the old boyfriend.
or, she just wasn’t that into him during the time they went out.
or the flame just died. hmmmm.
i knew a couple who broke up, and a few months before that, the girl was being wooed by a rich guy. (who wouldn’t be impressed?) and not too bad looking as well. the relationship was already in jeopardy because the girl’s parents were harassing her about getting married soon since they’ve been going out for almost 7 years. but the guy didn’t want to, as he was still in the midst of looking for a stable job. sad, right? when parents put pressure on the couple like that.
so when they broke up (apparently the guy had a horrible temper), she immediately got together with the rich guy. if he made her happier, good for her. but just think, maybe he was just the back up before someone better comes along? and she just wanted emotional support somehow?
six months later, i heard that they were giving out wedding invitations. i almost fainted. what the hell…. that was quick!!!
perhaps age is a factor for girls as well, the need to avoid being a spinster by the age of 29.
i know so many girls like that, and i just don’t get it. right out of a 5 year relationship and wham! the next new relationship, they get engaged or married within 6 months.
don’t tell me, girls need security? ;P
about the girls who find new boyfriends within a week after breaking up, what’s that, man.. and funny how the old boyfriend is still determined to win the girl back, showering her with lavish gifts and all. i’d tell the guy to drop it, honestly. because she’s not worth it if she can find someone new just like that.
forget the jewellery and cars and mobile phones – anything expensive, don’t waste money on her! (unless you’re filthy rich, hehe. send them over to me instead ;P) and if she tells you that the new boyfriend is just a way in getting her revenge on you, the guy should just let her be. (i know some people who used breaking up as a punishment, which i find ridiculously juvenile and stupid! and even stupid, they got back together, which meant the person accepted it as a reasonable thing to do? we’re talking bout a year of ‘break up’ as a punishment.)
the question is:
(1) is it alright to jump into a new relationship within a week of breaking up?
(2) if you’re the new girlfriend or boyfriend – would you trust him/her? because what goes around comes around.

i know of a man who wooed a young girl while he was still married. he divorced his wife and the young girl became his new wife. years later, it repeated full circle. a younger woman was wooing him and his new wife was furious. but her friends told her, “see, you did it to his wife the last time, and now it’s all coming back to you.” yikes!

related post: moving on …. sooner than later

38 thoughts on “moving on quickly!”

  1. Yay! 1st bimbo commenter. 😛
    Well, this is quite common amongst the older couples it seems. The courtship could take a very short time from a month to 3. And marriage is the 4th to 6th month? I’ve seen it happen. Some people say when you’re older , you know what you want out of a life partner, and thus your choice is very obvious compared to your younger days when you were more fickle. Is this the case or is it just because you’re…..desperate? Desperate that you’re old but still not married?
    About prior relationships in the equation, makes things more complicated. Of course in the eyes of all that is justifiable, getting married 6 months after courtship to the new guy compared to the ex that you were going out 6 years with dumped, would seem wrong. But don’t be surprised. It happens very frequently. I won’t go into details of whose fault it is.

  2. Welcome to the real world haha.. unexplainable things happen.. we just have to accept it something without an answer :))

  3. I have friends like wolfx’s case.. the boy dumped his 6 yrs ex-gf and married with another girl after just a few mths of getting together.
    There’s no right or wrong in love relationship, it’s perhaps just a matter of preference.
    So answer to Q1.. I don’t see any problem, as said it’s a matter of choice and personality.
    Q2.. that will depends on how pretty she is, honestly.

  4. sometimes it’s difficult to not judge the girl who finds a new boyfriend so quickly. especially if you’re friends with her ex-boyfriend who’s still pining for her.
    ya, when i’m past 29 and still not married, hope i’ll be that lucky la. hehe. ;P
    wolfx: yay, got a prize for you. ;P anyway, i think it’s desperate not to be married!
    Thrillseeker: tough one, so many things have no answers. hmmph. i still don’t get how come i can’t find “water fish” when other girls can find so easily. ;(
    Jee: depends on how pretty she is? luckily i’m a damn loyal person. ;D

  5. I hired a private investigator and caught my girlfriend (now ex-) cheating. It was a seven year relationship. Now over just like that. It pains me to think that she is going out with another guy. It hurts, and hurts, reallll bad…

  6. bimbobum: Prize? Kiss kiss? 😀
    Nvm if u 29 and still not married, i will be happy to take your singlehood away….provided i still single too. XD

  7. ah lok kor: SERIOUS??? wow. i’m sorry to hear it.
    wolfx: last time i told my friend that by the time i’m 30 he has to marry me. he almost fainted. then i changed my mind a year later, told him i don’t want to marry him. he was so relieved. afraid i too high maintenance. ;P

  8. hmm….depends whether u luv the person or not…..if u feel tat u still luv her/him , so go for it…..if not ….find new 1 lor….haha
    actually my luv life almost the same wif the story but my 1 is terbalik..i’m the 3rd party….but end up in a horrible ending….and it hurt me alot….really pain…till now…..

  9. lemme answer ur question!!
    1. if the person jus broke up and bounce back in a week, its either they have the thing going on WAY b4 breakups, or jus plain deperate. or to make them feel better tat sumone else is there.
    2. i dun think the new wan would give a damn about the past, some would but its doesn’t really matter anyway
    look, i kena b4 by my ex-gf, i’ve been with her for like more than a year..she is controling a bit too much of me, so i spend most of the time with her than my family till i have to fight wit hthem about it (yea stupid me)..then 3 days after my bday (Tiesto’s Day here in kl is my apart from working like shit there to setup tat party for u guys, i can party and celebr8 my bday too)..she broke up with me, by saying i was too controlling (i AM not..she is the one not me) then i found out tat she had relationship a week after tat with a guy i knew..i admit i was really stupid then, i changed a lot cause of her n frankly i dun like it much. well at least evrything is normal now.
    P/s : sorry bout this guys..dunno why suddenly i wana tell u guys bout this. sorry~

  10. No its not ok to jump in a new relationship after a week breakup! even a month also still cannot. unless its a fling understood by both parties..then its ok..
    I’ll definitely trust him. Why not? If i choose to be with him knowing about his past relationships already then why the doubt, if i dont believe then dont be with him lah. Simple!

  11. bimbobum: damn u are so evil lar 😀 .. scared him for 1 year by telling him u wanna marry him..

  12. its NOT rite at all to jumo into a new relationship straight away, it’l just kill me off. but, i tink ppl who does tat has got feeling for the new bf/gf already, so, tats y tey can start up so fast.
    about ur friend who went out w a gal for 7 years but didn’t get to marry her, im sO pity for him. God bless him, but, he has no one to be blamed but himself, frankly speaking.

  13. how do u know if the relationship that a person has been in for so many years is the right one?
    I’d say that the feelings probably died way before the relationship ended…

  14. BaKuTeh: hope you’re feeling better now.
    nottifish: out with old and in with new sounds so chinese new year leh… ;P
    AvalonDevil: wah.. funny how they blame the other person just to get out of a relationship. p.s. sometimes they think it’s a fling, which actually ends up as a relationship what.
    Eileen: hmmm. a week after not ok, i agree. but now looking at your comment, even i’m confused. what if they call it ‘casual dating’ and not a relationship at that time, would that differentiate the situation? ;P
    Thrillseeker: i was inspired by article in CLEO magazine, some friends make this kind of pact ma. so i thought i’d do the same (scared no one will marry me, hehe.) but then i changed my mind la. that guy not my type. hehe.
    myname128: ya la, i’d suspect something amiss also if my ex jumped into a relationship a week or a month after we broke up.
    karheng: dunno la. i know some people who’ve been dating for 14 years (half their lifetime) and then they got married.

  15. bimbobum: Nvm..then u have to learn how to live with stingy husband. Cuz by 30 u got no choice. LOL!
    JK! Pls dun whack me.

  16. Move, on, move, on, take up something new. Like errrr, blogging 🙂 ,dancing, whatever. Life is too short (saying that to comfort myself).

  17. Yet another question that I’ve pondered upon for the longest time, and yet to find the answer.
    But then again, I believe there’s no absolute right or wrong in love.

  18. wolfx: i dowan stingy husband! *plans revenge* dun worry, i won’t whack you. ;P
    AHLOKKOR: so now i assume you’re married with 2 wives and 7 kids? happily ever after! ;P
    Mei: but when mutual friends take sides… it becomes rather unpleasant. or when they demand their friends take sides. ugh.

  19. wow, bimbobum.. you should consider a career in relationship counseling.. i really like your posts, haha.. very entertaining

  20. weekiat: thanks! heh. i enjoy discussions on relationships, so i’m not really counselling la. though of course not everyone participates. ;P
    still no one has emailed me hamsup jokes. ;(

  21. Is it a mentality instilled in our instinct that for a lady that if they’re not married by the age of 29/30 , they are confirmed going to be a spinster for the rest of their life ?
    Sometime you see… guys a get very tension when girlfriend asks when he will marry her. Even if both of them love each other so much, sometimes when a guy is asked that question, and he get shock, if not faint…. I think it is because the guy wanna make sure he is really capable of running a family in a financially stable manner and able to give the best he could afford to the wife. Dont want the wife to feel insecure because he himself know it would be a insecure situation.
    Damn………fook… the French just equalized.
    Spain 1 – France 1

  22. it’s nice what, to have kids when you’re still young. imagine if i’m 50 and my kid’s 10, i can’t even go on roller coaster rides with him/her cos i’m too old, afraid that i’ll die of a heart attack while sitting beside my kid.

  23. exactly! spot on! u hit e nail 90 degrees! i was asking e same question as i have frens like dat.
    well, my reasoning was how can a person forget someone who they were dating for years. e feeling died off so damn fast! a week is all there is 2 forget years of dating. incredible rite?
    u begin 2 question e sincerity of ur frens, whether dat is really called love or just forceful ‘try-out’. i despise people like dat n i wun go 4 a gal who change boyfriends trigger happy. i think they treat relationships like changing clothes.
    of coz, i also have frens who go 4 short term relationships 4 e sake of showing off how many girlfriends they have had n their motto in life is to change as many clothes as possible as it is a pride 4 all e records they set. some even date 2-3 at e same time! of coz i will c him as not serious at all. i call dat cheating. dat’s how they tell u.
    r u going 2 eat char kueh tiaw 4 life or r u gonna try all e variety food in e market? seriously, most boys wan a buffet of various food b4 they settle down. those who eat char kueh tiaw 4 life r almost extinct.
    they just wan 2 have fun! u boring life, eat char kueh tiaw all ur life? hehe! come on! forget all those crappy fairy tales from disney. haha!

  24. ya ya, i agree. it’s always the guys who want to try everything out before settling on something permanent. ;P but then again, there are some girls who do the same as well.
    no wonder my mum told me not to take each relationship seriously. hehehe. no such thing as “The One” until you’re very very sure. ;P hmm.. sounds like my mum was teaching me how to be a player!
    p.s. DieHardX: mulu caves leh???? faster faster. i have to wait until world cup is over is it? ;P

  25. Just my humble opinion (which is probably misconceived).
    After 7 years, the whole relationhips could be very… predictable, monotanous, taken for granted, heck, even boring.
    After 7 years of seeing the same guy’s face, knowing the same guy’s habit, probably even living with the same guy, I believe that it would be one big gust of fresh air when someone new (or ‘new’) comes along into the girl’s life.
    Isn’t it true? When you are into a new relationship… everything is so damn exciting for the next couple of months. Wouldn’t the feelings be amplified if you are coming out of a seven year relationship and seven years of mongamy to one man?
    My further guess is that in the whirlwind of emotions and feelings, these girls (and guys) get blown along into getting engaged and married. Dizzy heydays for them isn’t it.
    My opinion above is just one possible angle of examination into the topic above. The very fact that we are human… mortals… and are slaves to our whims, fancies, emotions and desires… leave infinite possibilities and probabilities to all our actions.

  26. TheBornLoser: i agree that not all childhood romance lead to a marriage, as everyone grows up (or matures) at difference paces. either they continue to share the same interests and habits, or they grow apart, realising that the differences outweigh the similarities.
    this however, can lead to another question: is there such thing as “The One” or are we merely content to find someone who’s close to being our Mr or Ms. Perfect in life?
    during my younger days of dating, ……………. aiya, i think i shouldn’t tell my life story here. don’t want to bore you guys.

  27. my wan? can! pls take a number, sit for exam, oh and send in CV and a topless picture of you and contact number to bimbobum[at]gmail[dot]com. if topless picture is impressive enough, straight away pass, no need sit for exam and i buy you the first date (at mamak). eHeheheh

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