A predicament indeed

I have this dilemma everytime I go to the ladies. Which cubicle do I go into?
Usually I will pick the middle one at one side of cubicles against the wall. No particular reason really. The one on its right is the squat type, which I never go for; while the other one’s door doesn’t lock right. There’s another row of three cubicles on the other side of the toilet, which brings me to my current predicament.
Then recently, I’ve read a few articles which reported that the middle cubicle of any toilet is the dirtiest of the lot because most people would choose to enter the middle one for some reason or other. Oddly enough, the first cubicle is always the cleanest.
So here I am standing in front of three cubicles at my office’s toilet. I’m left with the choice of the first or middle cubicle. The last one’s for the handicapped and I really don’t want to be caught peeing in that one cubicle with a real handicapped person waiting outside the door.
So yeah I better not go to the middle one.
But wait! What if other people have read the same articles and then are doing just that – avoiding the middle one and going to the first one! That would make the first one dirtiest!
Better go to the middle one then.
Hang on, what if those same people are thinking the exact same thing I am thinking?? That makes the middle one dirtiest!
First one then? But what if…
Oh gawd I gotta pee.
Ok let’s check the toilet rolls, the one with the smaller roll would be the one most used!
Oh crap, the first cubicle’s one is finished. Middle one then.
Crap! There is so little toilet roll here! And there’s a feeling like someone has just used the toilet [you just know these things sometimes].
ARGH I really gotta pee!!!
Ah fack it, I’m going to the handicapped one.

And this quick little banter goes on in my head every single time I go to the ladies. Sometimes I would bite the bullet and just head to the middle one. Or first one. GAH! Just don’t let me started on which cubicle I would choose if the cubicles are half-taken and you wonder which neighbouring one you rather hear from..