Irritant & Can Exes Be Friends?

adjective: causing irritation
noun: something that annoys

Dear bimbobum,
I am surrounded by friends who are still friends with their ex-es, some are still good friends that they even visit their exes family and say hi! I find that intimidating, yet impressive. I mean, why can’t I have that same kind of friendship?
Instead, I have the most annoying ex-boyfriend ever – he is SO annoying, like, f*cking irritant. I try to stay friends, or even WANT to stay friends with him, but it is just difficult. He tries to make small talk with me on instant messenger, but somehow, he will rub me the wrong way. The small talk of 4 sentences (Hi, How are you? How’s work? Been busy lately?) will eventually lead to:

“Dating anyone? Seeing anyone?”

I think that he’s not entitled to ask me this question, for the fact that we’re NOT good friends and why does he bloody care? We’ve broken up ages ago! Do you think he is entitled to ask me such a question? I think he’s just being smirk about it, trying to keep tabs on me as if I’m unable to live without him. Yup, he’s MOVED ON with a dozen girlfriends after me, so I think by asking me that question, he wants to show off or something.
He asks me this f*cking question as frequent as every month. I hate it!
I want to delete him off my telephone list, IM, friendster and hi5 account, and his email address. Do you think that’s alright? I don’t want to be friends with him. I think I am entitled to choose whether or not I can be friends with him (which I can’t), whether or not I want to (which I don’t).
But I just feel bad that my friends are able to get on happily with their exes, that they and their exes and currents actually hang out together.
annoyed to the max,

Dear i-want-to-use-pesticide-on-my-ex,
Firstly, not everyone can be friends with their exes. Take me, for example. We did try, but because it felt rather awkward, we lost contact with each other – but we don’t hate each other. Other exes which I don’t want to be friends with, are kept at arm’s length – because I don’t like him/them for who he is/they are.
Secondly, your ex may need some new friends. Maybe we can introduce our irritating exes so they can set up a club or something? They’ll probably ask each other at their club meetings’, “Hey, what do you think? Do you think my ex is seeing someone else? Someone better or worse off than I?”
But then again, they may start bitching about us, so that’s not a very good idea.
Thirdly, I’d say do whatever you feel comfortable with. You want to absolve all contacts with him, you don’t want to be friends with him, that’s cool. You need to be happy and free from irritants, right? So, stop being bothered about your friends who have their exes on one side and their currents on the other. Tell them that you’re not like them and they should respect your decision. Either that, tell them to go and hang out with your ex instead, if they like him that much.

35 thoughts on “Irritant & Can Exes Be Friends?”

  1. Dear bimbobum,
    I also got problem to share with u. Care to give me your 2 cent advice…
    kekekeke….kidding mate…
    U can create a new blog or make a special column for ppl to address issue to u…kekekekke

  2. if i talk about my many many exes you all complain. ;p
    endroo: it’s not about sporting – it’s whether you can start anew as just friends.
    FrentZen: come, come to papa bimbo ;P

  3. but what if ur ex is from the same group of friends… like those all the way since schooling days… classmates became bf/gf then became exes ?!
    Whenever there’s a friends outing, you sure see the ex right… unless choose to absent or the other party absent.

  4. AbalonDevil: it happens.
    cnigel: guys my age? cute or not? i am…. not young not old. ;P
    endroo: it always depend on the animosity. and it also takes some time to get over the hatred – if any.

  5. human has an average life span of 90 years and to accurately define middle age erm…shud be 45 years old.LOL.
    aunty bimbobum!

  6. LOL @ Bimbo
    I’d keep in touch with my Ex-es,but less hanging out cuz of bz studying.
    but for her case,i pun tak tau macam mana mau comment,juz do wat eva she wants lor….

  7. Omg…this story just sound veri veri of my frenz just broke off with her fact her ex dump her..yet again..after they broke off..she still can hang out wit him like good frenz ntg happen between them..i was like wtf..does she hv some sense of humuor..dont you feel hurt when some1 just dump you?
    Anyway, is her decision thou..i cant say anything..

  8. zhong: also a factor ;P
    cnigal: you want to be my nephew is it? ;P
    Khinko: LOL some more, you bad!! if you suddenly open your eyes wide and realise the ex is someone you’ve lost respect for as a person, that’s a good reason why you decide not to hang out with him/her. it can happen.
    wickedghost: omg, for a moment i thought you were going to tell me i stole your friend’s story! ;P but how would they feel once they find someone new? how’s the friendship going to work out?
    “darling, this is my best friend. he’s my ex-boyfriend. i hope we can all be good friends!”

  9. aiya…this type of thing very easy one. If she don’t like the guy ask this type of question, just say. Can you stop asking me this? Even my mother dun ask me this…then he won’t ask liao lor…ego maa…

  10. Bimbo: LOL oso canot -.-”,wakaka,my eyes dam small cant open wide ler,wakaka,nolar,i juz keep in touch with them through IM,juz sumtimes chit a chat,chat a chit lidat lor,lik normal frenz chit chat lidat lor….takan once broke up,forever enemy meh??canot lidat 1….pass is already passed wut…

  11. but that’s the thing, why do exes like to ask? seriously it is for ego purposes? surely they need a life, instead of asking (directly).

  12. Well..i am friends with mostly all my exes except one or two.We have common friends, so we do occasionally hang out but not to the extent where i visit their family! LoL. Its all cool when we hang out and they introduce their current gfs to me. And I am happy for them when they are happy πŸ™‚
    The non friend ones are the ones which I don’t feel is worthy of my friendship, simply because I discovered: he is a manipulative/smooth talking showoff or just an ‘irritant’- trying to always “tai” whoever it is I am dating. So I have no guilty conscience or qualms about not bothering about them at all.

  13. ChloeC: wah liu,the ex-es that u dint feel is worthy 1 memang not worth,where got ppl trying2tai whoever u dating,this is too much…
    bimbo: endro called u aunty lar..kekeke…

  14. I know of a loaded f5 kid who will spend a few hundred bucks for his ex’s birthday..i want man!! free gifts without the hassle…hehe

  15. Khinko: i want to merajuk and don’t blog also cannot, boss will fire my ass ;P (points at xes, shhhh …. btw, ad hoc partnership wei. as my birdday present or something… ahahaha jk)
    endroo & karheng: when you are prematurely bald for your age i’m going to be the first to laugh at you ;P ahahaha

  16. there’s one ex i want to be friends with, but i think he hates me. and that embarrasses me. he reminds me of the good stuff, but also reminds me of what a horrible person i MAY have been. =\

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