Category: General

Dear All,
The father of an acquaintance, DJ Switch urgently needs a blood donor, O negative. If anyone could contribute, please contact Mr. Henry Tan at 016-218-0032 or Mr. Jerry Lee at 012-3020-403.
Please spread the word around.
Best Regards
xes

Got this from kinkypugkevin’s blog. Cracked me up.

I was chatting for the first time with this Chinese guy from Cheras. He noticed my display photo of me and DJ Premier and started this stupid conversation.
water says:
u like african ?
kev says:
not really why?
water says:
yr pic got an african ?
water says:
i so scared african la
kev says:
he’s a DJ i met recently. didn’t i tell you this just now?
water says:
can u use other pic
kev says:
no cos i want to use this one
water says:
but i scared african
kev says:
so?
water says:
if u fren with him , i will scared u too
kev says:
he’s a US DJ i interviewed for work. he’s not my friend. gosh get over it.
water says:
so sorry 4 my honestly
water says:
ok
water says:
u been to us b 4 ?
kev says:
no.
water says:
u said u at us ?
kev says:
i said he is from US. he was in town…
water says:
i see
water says:
he now at us ?
kev says:
yes
water says:
how u can meet him ?
kev says:
he is in town for his tour. i was interviewing him.
water says:
ok
water says:
is he a gay too ?
kev says:
no he’s not
kev says:
are you racist?
water says:
what is racist ?
kev says:
i rest my case

Source: http://kinkypugkevin.blogspot.com/2006/12/cina-memang-cina.html

I read in one of the forum. A guy wrote :-
“I hate big boob … dunno why they want it soo bloody big
expensive somemore
what will you do to your girl if she ask you money to enlarge her boob ?
she is those kind like to show off and stuff”
I wonder what will i do if my girlfriend ask me for that…hmmmm…i will definately say :-
“No lar, next time got baby already susah (“difficult”) because the milk might be too much for it. Later, the baby fat fat one become bully in school”
What will you say to your girlfriend?
OR
For the girl, what will happen if you boyfriend ask you for money to enlarge his penis and he said
“Honey, i wanna make my asset longer so we can much more fun”
If i am a girl, i will say
“YOU BASTARD!”

Ever wonder why photo taking is not allowed in Art Museum?
Well, this is why!!!

Continue reading eer…

Three Australians and three Englishmen are going to a football match.
At the train station, the three Australians each buy a single and watch as the three Englishmen buy just one ticket between them.

“How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the Australians.

“Watch and learn,” answers one of the Englishmen.

They all board the train. The Australians take their respective seats but all three Englishmen cram into a loo and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor arrives to collect the tickets. He knocks on the loo door and says, “Ticket please.”

The door opens slightly and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Australians are mightily impressed, and after the game, to save money, they decide to repeat the Englishmen’s trick.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, however, the Englishmen don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asks one perplexed Australian.

“Watch and learn,” says one of the Englishmen.

The train departs, the three Englishmen cram into a loo, and the three Australians pile into another one nearby. Shortly afterwards, one of the Englishmen sneaks out of the loo, knocks on the door of the loo in which the Australians are hiding, and says, “Ticket please…”

There are 1526 entries with more than 16078 comments.
xes posted 1031 entries, followed by frank_omatic with 204 posts and bimbobum with 124 posts! bimbobum is catching up with frank!
There are 6 posts about toilets
Out of the 1526 entries, only 1 entry was made in Chinese (or rather Romanji Chinese)
There are 5 Dear bimbobum posts, please send her your problems/fan mails or so on at bimbobum at gmail
There are more than 6 mixes produced by DJ rych (one of the guestbloggers of this website) for www.xes.cx. Unfortunately, only 1 song is still available on the net – xes.cx clubbing system.mp3
1 is the number where xes.cx has only been featured in a local magazine how sad.
I love reading all my 2003 entries. Those were the days..

Check this out, the game is kinda cute.

http://www5.goyk.com/aw333sas0903/misc/condomgame.swf
Now this is how it work :-

Use the left and right keys to control your willy.
Shoot using the space bar.
Hitting a condom get’s you 10 points.
If you don’t hit the condoms you will get a baby.
3 babies and you’re out!

I tried twice and always get baby. Thank God, my willy is ok.

Recently, my former classmate Mindy sent me videos of Smarties chocolate advertisements done by her agency.

LOL. Those tubes were so scared till they shat smarties off their arse. Yes, the videos were on national tv!
I’m sure everyone here tried Smarties before. When I was younger, I used to play with it’s tube (Smarties were packed in a tube). I would turn it into a cannon by whacking the tube to force its plastic cap to fly off.
But now, Nestle has replaced the old packaging with a Hexatube packaging.
Anyway, here are some interesting facts that I gathered from wikipedia.

Nestlé uses cochineal, a derivative of the Cochineal beetle, to dye red Smarties, [1] and are therefore not kosher or vegetarian. (!!! Smarties uses insects???)

In Canada, Smarties are traditionally all the same chocolate flavour inside, although recent marketing trials have included boxes of flavoured candy. Some flavours include Sundae and Orange. Smarties in Canada are usually sold in either a plastic bag or an oblong cardboard box.

Blue Smarties – Replaced in 2006 with white by Nestle UK due to the removal of all artificial colours from Smarties. As there is no naturally blue food colour, they could no longer be produced under the new policy (blue Smarties continue to be manufactured by Nestle Canada however).

In February 2005, it was announced that the traditional cylindrical tube was to be replaced with a new six-sided “Hexatube” packaging in the summer. Nestlé have stated that the redesign is in order to keep the brand interesting and fresh to children; the new packaging is also lighter and more compact. The last 100 tubes to leave the factory in York have a certificate inside them.
The replacement of Smarties’ packaging wasnt well received by the older crowd. This was evident from the comments @ http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4276553.stm. Here are some extracts of the comments.
Quite simply the worst catastrophe to befall modern man. Don’t do it, Smarties!!
Helen, UK
This is a disaster. Traditional Smartie tubes are a wonderful charity fund-raising aid. We have used the Smartie-tube challenge to raise thousands of pounds in our local community. You give people a free tube of Smarties, which are theirs to eat, but ask them to return the tubes full of 20p pieces. This is an effective and easy way of raising money for charity. Shame on you Nestle Rowntree for removing this opportunity.
David, UK
(Interesting!)
The best bit about the old tube with the plastic end was always when the tube was empty. You eat the Smarties with relish (the orange ones last of course!), then put the top back on the tube, rest it on a surface, and bang the edge of your hand down hard about half way along the tube, to see how far you can fire the plastic top.
That really was always one of the best bits of Smarties, and in fact in my thirties I still do it!
The children of the future will miss out on a great entertaining activity.
Mrs Mayo, UK
I’ve spent the last 32 years building a two storey house for my family entirely out of Smarties tubes, using the lids as flooring, paving stones and a driveway. I estimated to be finished by 2008, but if the hexagons come in, I’m going to have to redo the whole roof.
Ron Johnson, UK

Yesterday, my friends and I were having coffee at Mt. Kiara Starbucks.
We found one nice leather Prada wallet next to our table. We flipped through the wallet and found amongst others, an identity card, credit cards and also ATM cards. Inside the wallet, there were few hundred Ringgit cash in it!
Losing a wallet is one of the most troublesome calamities. We decided to return the wallet to the owner.
Then a guy came to the table next to us (where the wallet was found). He looked like he was looking for something. The guy then left quickly. We screamed for that guy, and wanted to ask him whether he was looking for his wallet. He didn’t answer.
Sow immediately got off from his chair and ran towards the guy.
Sow: DUDE! You lost a wallet??
Guy: Er.. No.
Then we realised that the wallet is actually an Indian lady’s wallet.
However, after flipping the wallet thoroughly, we could not find the contact number of the owner. But we managed to find one blue coloured McDonalds privilege card. The first thing on my mind was, “blue colour? This year’s McDonald’s privilege card is green!”.
It might be the super duper ultimate McDonald’s privilege card that comes with free food and probably throw in some sex in it. Then I realised a small print on the card saying, “This card is not valid after December 2002”. O____O”
Then Charmaine had a brilliant idea. She called the Indian lady’s credit card’s 24 hour customer service centre. The credit card company then told Charmaine that they will contact the Indian lady.
Within minutes, the Indian lady called us and 20 minutes later, the lady came to Starbucks to collect her wallet. Although, there were few hundred bucks in the wallet, we didn’t take a single cent.
And the best thing was, the Indian lady didn’t realise that she has lost her wallet after her bank called her.
Bravo.

Sometime I wonder what had become of our world. While the Government had battle effortlessly against the crime of rape and the influence of pornographic, yet somewhere in a dark corner of the world rise another kind of sexual maniac mental disease known as “Sexsomniacs”. A Sexsomniacs tends to make sexual demand to their partner while they are asleep. This was reported in Star today in a report entitled “Sexsomniacs” puzzle medical researchers
In a quest to understand what on earth is this “disease”, I had done a search on our even trusted source of knowledge, Wikipedia shown no result on Sexsomniacs. Hence, I proceeded to the mighty google search engine and the result is that :-

1.Anderson Cooper of CNN reported that there are people who filed law suit against their spouse for initiating unwanted “sleep sex”.
2. Den reported that the “disease” had created a new kind of crime – ” The Sleeping Rapist”
3. Richard Morgan said that it is akin to a X rated Sleepwalking

Strange, huh?