Housemates

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William, one of flatmate had gone back to Penang for Chinese New Year. Now only Hun Chong and I are left in the house. I will be returning to Sarawak on the 18th January while Hun Chong will leave for Penang on 20th January for Chinese New Year. Strangely, William’s absent from the house is not really felt. Maybe it is because we hardly do things together apart from watching TV together. That also explains why we do not have any argument about anything in the house. That is so different from my previous experience.

When I was doing A-level in Taylor’s College, I used to share a house with 6 friends. Although all of us were doing different courses and had different friends. We would always do thing together at night such as playing snooker, mamak, or watch movies. We had a lot of arguments about bills and about whose turn was it to mop the floor. Among the 6 of us, Boon is the coolest and the most happening housemate. He was the one we taught me how to play snooker and pool. However, Boon had a tendency of killing songs. He likes to play his favourite songs over and over again. His favourite song at one time was “She” by Elvis Costello from the movie Nottinghill. That song was one of my favourite until he killed it by playing it from day to night. Back then, we did not have a TV so Boon had this wacky idea of setting up his room to become a mini Cineplex. He would push his Queen Size mattress against the wall and put his computer in front of the bed. Then, he would have his table lamp shinning up the ceiling to create a cinema like atmosphere. All of us would sit on the bed in his air conditioned room to watch VCDs . Another of his wacky idea was putting his radio so that our toilet would have pipe music. All of our friends who visited our house were impressed by our fully conditioned house and pipe music toilet.

Cheng You was supposingly the boss of the house because the house was rented under his name. He made a cleaning roaster for the house. Sadly apart from Simon, Shan Rhen and I, the rest never obey it including Cheng You himselves. Our house was fully conditioned at that time. We had air con in the each of our room and another one in the hall but we only paid RM10 per son. Cheng You, the genius in electronic appliances had come out with an idea of stopping the electric meter by pushing in the front panel glass of the meter.We were supposed to keep this a secret among all of us. However, Boon and Malwin told everyone in school that we were using electricity on behalf of the Agong.

Simon was the most hardworking student among all of us. He studied most of the time. I could not remember why he ended up living with us. Shan Rhen was my football kaki. We used to play football at the field near KFC every Thursday and watched football together. Malwin was the only non Chinese in my house last time. He is a Punjabi. He might be big and strong but he is afraid of ghost. He believed that we had a 7th ghostly housemate in our house. Until the day we moved out, he still insisted that there was actually a ghost in the house. In fact all those extra phenomenon events were the work of Shan Rhen, Boon and me. Malwin was a very innocent person then. He loved to watch porn but dare not buy them because he was afraid that his grandmother or his mother might find out about it.

I had a really great time living with that bunch of jokers. Even though I did badly in all my term exams that year, I have no regret. I really miss them sometimes.

Malaysians vs. Americans ….in Geography

Today, I went for my second class in Hawaiian studies at Kamakakuokalani Building (kamaka-ko-ka-kolani) quite interesting…except the teacher said “umm..” 67 times..couldn’t concentrate properly on her teaching cuz I was counting the amount of “umms..”. Dang.

Anyway, today I met some new American friends. Seriously…their geography sux.

Me: Hi, I’m Kim..and you are?
XXX: Hi, I’m XXX. Nice to meet you. Where are you from?
Me: I’m from Malaysia
XXX: Malaysia?..err…where’s that?
Me: err..(silence)…next to Singapore….?….?..?
XXX: OoOoOH!..Singapore!..I see…I see…(2 minutes later) err..where’s that?..in the pacific ocean?
Me : ….

Sigh…and XXX is not the first.

The Ant Entry

It was a fiery battle. Me armed with R1dsect, them armed with their passion to keep home in my bedroom. Me against the ants. THE BATTLE BETWEEN DEE & THE BLACK SMELLY ANTS. *cue: appropriate war tune*

After my vanilla c0ke exploded in my bedroom, within 15 minutes, a river of Black Smelly Ants That Bite (hereby BSATB) were aggressively streaming towards my bedroom from godknowswhere. Thus the battle began. They were everywhere! I sprayed every nook and cranny of my bedroom and finally managed to trace the BSATB fort in Kim?s bedroom. The ultimate spraying began, every ant that came out of the hole, I sprayed them to oblivion and the BSATB retaliated by bravely running towards me (ala Arag0rn and gang running head-on towards the Trolls in L0TR ? of course, this time the Arag0rn of Ants get to meet his maker way sooner. Blind recklessness, really), futile attempts to attack me. After minutes that seemed like hours, the battle was finally over. Shrivelled-up dots of what used to be BSATB littered the battlegrounds of my sister?s parquet floor. I left feeling triumph and yet, the ironic emptiness of a battle won.

Woke up the next morning smelling the fumes of the after-battle? AND a throbbing ant bite on my left point finger!!! Vehemence swells within me, as I squinted through my shortsightedness to see a slim river of BSATB on my bathroom wall. The battle began once again. But my line of attack had changed; I held my showerhead firmly on my right hand while my left hand turned up the water pressure knob. Watching the ants run wildly around as I slowly sprayed the water along the wall towards the midst of ant-panic, like a tidal wave leisurely approaching the shore. Watching them go down the drain was almost overwhelming as I felt the soreness on my left finger.

And I thought I won once again.

The following day, I was rudely interrupted while I was typing an email on my laptop when I saw a rather carefree ant running across my laptop screen. And behold! The BSATB had made my laptop their new fort!!! A virtually indestructible fort – inaccessible by R1dsect, untouchable by water. I almost cried.

So there I was, squatting in front of my laptop ? waiting for an ignorant ant to wander out of the sanctuary to succumb between my ruthless tissue-covered fingers. A messy and foul job but it had to be done to restore the honour of my beloved laptop. Hours later with tainted fingers, I felt a hint of victory. The only BSATB left were in tiny squashed-up segments all over my fingers, the tissue that yielded halfway through the battle, thrown at the side. The smell of death congesting my senses.

And finally, I think I have won. 🙂

running this website…

Running this website is like running a business

I am the boss and my guestbloggers are my employees.

My visitors are my customers.

My income is the hits I get per day and everyday I work to get the required ďż˝incomeďż˝. My guestbloggers on the other hand have their own ďż˝incomesďż˝. They have their own friends and fans (that includes Wen Dee’s fan club) that visit this website.

I made Wen Dee a partner of my firm because she is the biggest contributor. Siew Lee and Frank are sleeping partners, they blog once in a blue moon. Wen Kim is my new guestblogger (to those who doesnďż˝t know, she is Wen Dee’s younger sister). tiberian_x on the other hand can go fry, he never blog anymore!

Fluffy,the cat


After months of absent from Xes’s blog, I am finally making a come back. That is also because my boss, Xes has been reminding me everyday to blog. Thanks, Ah Leong.

Perhaps not many of my friends know that I love to keep pets. I have 3 German shepherd, two cats, and two tortoises. Anyway, this is one of my cats, Fluffy. As you can see, she was in a bad mood because she just had her bath a few hours ago. By the way, Fluffy is not her real name. My sister gives her a stupid Japanese name. I think it is Yuki as in snowy in Japanese. I don’t want to have a pet with Japanese name!! Can anyone think of a cool name for my cat here?

Wen Kim’s first post all the way from Waikiki, Honolulu!

wahaha..cheng leong made me a guest blogger!..yeyeye…at least I have something to do here.. sigh, life here is quite shitty here..and i can’t wait to stop feeling like this! Anyway, enough of my whining…classes are starting right now..so lemme just talk a lil’ bit about the peOpLe here.. let’s start with:

THE GIRLS.
The girls here are hot…especially the Hawaiian girls! They have a nice tan, long brownish-dark hair and exotic features..though 80% of them are on the plum side. Nevertheless, they’re h.o.t…The other gals (Japanese, Koreans, Americans) are pretty okay too. In other words: all chun! Almost 90% of the girls (including me) wear clothes like we’re going to the beach.. e.g.: flip flops, shorts, Baby T’s, sports bra (they wear it, i don’t!) -and we, girls actually get away with it! It helps that the Lecturers wear shorts and Hawaiian shirts to teach..;D…so it’s pretty relaxed here..

THE BOYS.
Boys ahhh..errrrrr….honestly speaking..okay okay only lah..not a lot.(not like I was checking them out anyway :)..:D There are loads of surfers in my campus (you won’t miss them cuz they are always carrying a surf board round the campus) and skateboarders too. Most of them are on the big side..and the Hawaiian guys here totally reminds me of The Rock. Hehe.

…but in the end, they are nothing compared to Malaysian guys..;)

snatch thieves

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOW!

Edisi Siasat
Did anyone watch last night’s Edisi Siasat? The story about snatch thieves outside a shopping complex nearby my place.

To those who don’t know, Edisi Siasat is a TV programme that highlights social issues of Malaysia. Sometimes they would go undercover or interview victims on the issues.

So last night, a snatch thief victim was complaining to Edisi Siasat about the ignorance of Malaysians. When her bag got snatched, no one helped despite the fact that the place was crowded with people. All they did was just look. She was at the state of shock but her daughter eventually tried to chase the robber. The robber got away.

The lady said angrily that Malaysians should detest the attitude of “lu lu punya hal, gua gua punya hal” (your business is your business, my business is my business). I totally agree with that, but the other thing I would like to point out is the nosiness of bloody Malaysians. Have you ever notice, when ever an accident, no matter big or small, the road will be congested? And furthermore, that includes the opposite road. Nosy people would slow their cars to check out the incident and some even tried to get the car’s number plate so that they could buy lottery with it.

So back to the snatch thief topic, well, if I was present when that incident happened, I try to help her. I will do my best to enforce the law and put such social thrash to prison! Her daughter is pretty by the way. 😀 😀 😀

cheating husbands

Couple of days ago, I heard this interview on radio.

DJs: Hello this is Green man and the Scam boy here. We’re talking about cheating spouses, tell us your experiences.

A lady calls in,

Lady: (sounding really demented) there’s this lady who’s been messaging my husband all the time! Stupid B…
DJs: WAITT!! You’re on national radio!
Lady: Oh sorry, anyway, my husband says that he doesn’t know who she is. That lady has been messaging my husband all the time. Do you want me go give you her number?
DJs: Err..no thanks, we’re on national radio!! So your husband said that he doesn’t know her?
Lady: Yeah.
DJs: Do you know that’s one of the popular reasons that men give when they try to cover up??
Lady: No I trust my husband! He wouldn’t do that.
DJs: Trust me! Men always give that reason.
Lady: Nooo, I trust my husband completely! He wouldn’t do that to me!!
DJs: I think you should go ask your husband about it…
Lady: (almost at the verge of crying), yes yes, I will go ask him.. *slams phone down*

Then another lady calls in

DJs: Hi there.. Tell us your story
Lady 2: If I find out that my husband is cheating on me, when he sleeps, I will cut off his ‘buddy’
DJs: hahaHhaHAhHAHhaah ok… What’s your husband’s name? We don’t want to be buddies with your husband!

parents argue…

It makes me unnecessarily stressed whenever my parents argue. It makes me think. “What if they start chopping each other with machetes?” But thank god over the years, nothing serious happened. Mum is a superb negotiator. She could talk out a machete welding man or someone who is about to burst out violently. That explains the non violent arguments between my parents.

Dad hasn’t been in a good mood lately and today, he burst out in anger. I had no idea what or who he was angry at but I heard loads of crashing and banging in the living room. The word ‘termites’ was repeated couple of times. Mum was in the living room when it happened. She didn’t tell me anything about it.

Well, I’m sure everyone’s parent out there argues. For me, my parents usually argue about money. What does your parent usually argue about?

mad cow disease!

Bovril
Dad has been sick for this couple of days. He’s down with flu hence he resorted to plain porridge everyday. So today he requested for Bovril, a thick beef patty extract. I search high and low for it. The only thing I could find was Marmite. After half an hour, I asked the lady whether or not they have Bovril. She said,

“Bovril? No more stock la. Aiyah, haven’t you heard? Mad Cow Disease ah”
Me: Er.. I thought it only happened in US?
“Aiyah precaution mah”

Yeah….rightttttttttttt…. 😀 😀 😀