Category: General

www.xes.cx would like to wish Leong Chuo Ming, a very happy 23rd birthday.
Happy Birthday Chuo Ming!!!

Sorry bro, i can’t get you 3g (or is it 3kg) of weed for your birthday la, but la, i use my best photoshop skill to make you this cool pic la. I hope you will like it la. =)

As time passes, everything changes. Black Panthers are killed deliberately despite having ‘good intentions’ to preserve them. Bollywood, instead of Hollywood, is now the biggest movie industry in the world. Even Isaac Newton’s logic and laws in physics…
Sigh! Just read on…

Recently Isaac Newton, the father of physics, made a visit to Earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Tamil movies and his head was in a spin. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done. Here are a few scenes from
Vijayakanth’s movies:

Vijayakanth has a brain tumour which, according to the doctors, can’t be
cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Vijayakanth is shot
in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking
away the tumour along with it and he is cured. Long live Vijayakanth!

Vijayakanth is confronted with three gangsters. He has a gun but unfortunately
only one bullet. Guess, what he does? He throws a knife at the gangster
standing in the centre and shoots at the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into
two pieces, killing both the gangsters flanking the one in the centre, while
the knife kills the middle one.

Vijayakanth is chased by a gangster. Vijayakanth has a revolver but he
has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does? No, not even in your remotest imagination.
As soon as the gangster shoots, Vijayakanth opens the bullet compartment of his
revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his
gun … and the gangster dies.

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he stayed around to watch another movie, thinking that at least it will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes on fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed.

Oops! Not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Vijayakanth gets to know that the
villain is on the other side of a very high wall. It’s so high that Vijayakanth
can’t jump even if he tries one of those superman techniques our heroes
normally use.

He has to desperately kill the villain. Vijayakanth pulls out two guns
from his pocket. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun reaches the height
of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in the air with his second gun.
Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton faints!

I also pengsan…

This was reported by Nan Yang Siang Pau yesterday:

“A 6 feet Black Panther was found in the toilet of a sawmill at 8am, Tuesday morning. The owner contacted Selangor Wildlife Department immediately. The other villagers soon got wind of it and flocked to the sawmill to catch a glimpse of the Panther. Some even climbed on the roof of the sawmill to catch a glimpse of the Panther. Not long after that, two personnel from the Wildlife Department arrived and told the villagers that the Black Panther was a protected animal and that they intended to catch it alive. Unfortunately, they did not bring the necessary equipment to do so.

Therefore, all they could do now is to wait for their counterpart from headquarter. Meanwhile, the Panther seems to be disturbed by the noisy crowd and tried to escape by jumping on the roof but fail. Finally, it managed to break itself free from the sawmill by jumping over a wall (which is 2 feet tall) and a man who was squatting near the wall, waiting to see the Black Panther. The man was scratched by the Black Panther. The Black Panther was again trapped in a compartment outside of the sawmill because of the fence but it did not show any hostility to the villagers. In seeing this, the officers from the wildlife Department shot the Black Panther in its head and killed it on the spot.”

In my point of view, the officers of the Wildlife Department had caused the death of the Black Panther. They did not take the necessary precaution to protect the Black Panther.

They panicked when a man was accidentally injured by the Panther. They killed the Panther because this would make their job easier. Moreover, they had to wait for at least 2 hours for their other colleague to arrive and they were also scared. Frankly from the newspaper report, I think that the Panther did not deserve to die at all. It did not show any hostility to anyone while it was there. The Panther did not attack the owner when he find it in his sawmill’s toilet nor the other villagers.

However, what about that villager who was scratched by the Panther? Well, that was his fault for putting himself in such a risk. Any 3 years old can tell you that staying too close to a Black Panther can be dangerous. Nevertheless, the officers were also at fault. They were suppose to disperse off the crowd and lock down the area, to protect the people and the Panther.

In contrast, all they did was to “stand guard” and wait for right moment to kill the panther!

4 more days till Final examination!!

I’ve been studying in the library constantly this couple of days. This examination is not easy, I hope I dont have to re-sit my entire paper if I fail.

There is no limit on the times you can sit for the examination (previously it was 4 times). Some of my classmates sat for the exam 3 – 4 times. I heard that someone even sat 10 times for it! (that would take 10 years!)

Being not able to pass the examination would be the biggest catastrophe of my life. If i fail, I would have to endure another year of weekend classes and my ambition as a lawyer would be on hold again.

Re-sitting for the exam is a big no-no. I have classmates turned weird because of that…

There is this particular middle aged lady in my class who expresses her stress in a funny way. While I was in the library couple of days ago, that lady approached me.

Lady: Leng jai..did you see who threw that farn hap (economic rice box) into the rubbish bin?
Me: err.. I think it�s the Indian lady.
Lady: (opens eye widely and started sulking) that�s my rice box�MMMMMMMMMMMM (flatten her lips ala Donald Duck and then proceeded to make some funny noises) stupid monkey..bitch..sui yann�

I was shocked. I was wanted to laugh out loud but refrained myself as hard as possible. I immediately turned my head back to my notes. However, she stood there sulking for few minutes. Fortunately, she went back to her table and kept quiet.

Few minutes later, she banged the table with her hand. Now I understand why old ladies like iloveu go crazy.

Naked Coffee
I know this is a bit late. I guess you guys have heard about it from those who attended Naked Coffee last Saturday.

About 50 people came. Loads of new faces even guest appearance by our travelling shuffler, Hayden Oberin!

We occupied about 4 tables. The night was fun filled with games, a little bit of alcohol and photography session.

Here’s the list of people who came.

Paul & Kim
Dylan
Graceshu
Desmosedici
Lynnzter
Cheng Leong
Hayden
Ivan
Sheh May & Nick
Shin
Sow
Tracy Teoh
Josh Lim
Vanessa
Lainie
Irene
David Thong
Abby
Sharon
Elaine
Cris
Adam
Kevin
Ben @ Nottifish
Wei Liang
Wei Chen
Fon
Gavin Chew
Ryan
Gerald
Zing
Leonard
Ben
Jin-Wy
Leona Lim
Ru Hann
Tia
Daphne
Phuah
Sau Yan
Kok Wing
Eric
Ping
Michelle
Faith & Fiance
Don
Samantha
Chee Liang & Girlfriend

Loads of pictures @ Sui Lin‘s, Lynnzter‘s Kim‘s website (pls rape their bandwidth :D)

Btw, Happy Birthday to PEs 9 LOONG!!

Today, I wake up with a major headache due to the loud Morning Prayer from the flats behind my apartments.

Today is an auspicious day for the Malay behind my house to get marry so they have a Kenduri (party like event). At exactly 9am, they start the day with loud thanksgiving and blessing prayers over the microphone. God damn it, I only went to sleep at 3.30am last night and I thought I was having a bad dream.

However, that does not get me up from bed; I try effortlessly, tossing left and right to fall asleep anew. Finally, I give up at about 11am because they are blasting “Selamat Pengantin Baru” (Congratulation on your wedding day) song repetitively. Fuck, after that I have headache for the whole day.

The kenduri was quite happening. They have Kumpang (damn noisy), Lucky draw (that one last for 2 hours and the first number is 111) and fucking Karaoke session with lousy singers (No pitching at all). They only stop during the 1pm and 4pm prayers but it is short lived. The kenduri did not end until 5.30pm. Anyway, I took photos of the kenduri from my apartment.

Today, I have Domino Pizza’s Aloha Chicken pizza and Extravaganza pizza for dinner. I order thin crust pizza for both flavour. They taste like cheese and meat on crackers but delicious. That is a photo of my left over pizzas.

Today is also the birthday of Gillian Chung

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JILL

Got this from a forwarded message with some added comments from me..hehe

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. (I STRONGLY AGREE)

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days .

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. Stop bitching about me to your friends. I’ll sue you for defamation if I could.

1. Stop being so possessive. Not every girls want to sleep with me.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. (I do no agree though, most girls think that they are fat, even though all they have are just skin and bones)

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. (mmm..dont really agree on this one)

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. (err)

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. (doesnt make sense)

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. (and sex)

1. You have enough clothes. (you have too much clothes in fact)

1. You have too many shoes. (yes, please donate some to the poor people please)

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. (yup, fat means more to hug)

Anyone has anymore to add? 😀

10 more days to exam…

The tension is starting to build up now. I am starting to lose sleep. Everyday I wake up, feeling more exhausted than the previous day. Everyday when I look at the past year questions and notes, I feel dumber than yesterday. I cannot remember anything!

10 days are all I have now!

It has been a crazy week for me this week so far. Sometimes not because there is too much work to do but every so often, there are these amusing episodes which again, makes me wonder (like Sow) which circus I work for again??

One day at a senior management photo shoot session; we had a bunch of bosses there to have their annual photos taken. So after a really long time trying to get them to ?Look natural!? or ?Look candid!?, we decided to give them a break ? their smirks were beginning to look plastic. So we headed to the next room where they could chill out awhile. After awhile, one of the bosses ? Mr L ? entered the same room where we were having the photo shoot through a different entrance and here?s what happened?

Mr L: Eh! I didn?t realise there was another photo shoot going on.
Me: ?? It?s the same one, Mr L.
Mr L: No no! I don?t remember this (rattles the light stand) or this (points at chair) or that (gestures at something else in the garish room) just now.
Me: But that?s the same chair you were sitting on a while ago..
Mr L: No no! I remembered very clearly!
Me: (starring at him incredulously, wondering if he was pulling my foot) Erm.. Ok?

Doofus.

Oh well. At least he went on with the shoot, thinking that it was an entirely different setting and room altogether. Its like living a life of a goldfish? round and round the fish bowl, thinking its in a whole new different universe every few seconds or so. Simple.

That could be a good thing though. 😉