this is gonna be really long..
i drove up & parked my car after spending a few hours @ the gym [yes i actually take part in other activites aside from sleeping!]. it was almost 8pm. dark. street lit by very very dim lights save for a couple of porch lights from my neighbours. suddenly, this figure walks up to my car & starts waving frantically at my left window like, “i’m so excited to see you! omgomg!” o.O
how scary is it when you’re nothing but a silhouette?
i squint & squint to take a better look at him [i conveniently forgot my glasses o.O] &..it was my neighbour. ironically, one whom i haven’t seen for a long time despite the fact that he lived just a block away. i think i last bumped into him a year ago. it’s funny how you almost forget your surroundings sometimes.
so i got out, opened the boot to lug my bagshoesbooksthingamajigs out, proceeded to dumping them all on the roof of my car, then turned around to say hi.
we launched into a close-to-an-hour conversation.
see, when we were younger, along with some other neighbourhood kids, we’d meet up every evening to walk, talk, cycle, rollerblade, whatever it was that tickled our fancy then. shamelessly, we’d also run around plucking flowers & playing masak-masak.
*insert sepia-toned nostalgic playback here*
anyhooooooo, the conversation came to a point where we were discussing age..& what it does to us. i don’t even remember how we got there but somehow we did! so here..
* as jaded as we might get, remember that it’s not illegal. it’s okay to be jaded. it’s okay that people get depressed. it’s part of what your journey brings. BUT..almost none of one’s mistakes are bad. mistakes don’t always have to be bad. we know enough to call it a mistake, no? we learn from it, no? so it brings us down, so it gives us emotional instability. every time we face a big stink, we find it bloody hard to look beyond the upcoming days, to realize, “i SO can get past this!”. but look deeper into it & you’ll find good in all that turmoil that life inevitably puts you through. & believe me, in the end, you WILL get past it.
* no matter what happens, never forget what you’re worth. never let someone else put you down for what you are. you’re always worth much more than you think. truth be told, no one, & i mean no one, ever has the right to tell you that you’re not worthy. no one has the right to blame you for their own doing. no one should ever take advantage of your existence & think that you were born for his/her abusive purposes. who’s to say how you should be weighed or measured? remember, if you refuse to believe in yourself, no one else is gonna step up to do that for you. that’s one thing for sure. so do yourself a favour & start treating yourself with a little bit more respect. because you’re worth every ounce of it :o)
* my neighbour, let’s call him KC, he says that both women & men alike tend to forget that life is really too damn short for you to live worrying & trying to please people. why do people lose themselves to the world? why do people lose their identities ever so often depending on the people that they’re with? you love someone so much until you lose yourself. you fight to fit in until you lose yourself. why struggle? in the first place, if you’re not yourself, how do you know if you’re really what people accept you as? so you keep trying, flipping personalities like you’re some kinda mechanical doll until they see something that fits? do you really want that? to spend all your days pretending to be something you’re not? life’s too short. just live lah, okay? :o)
age it what moulds you. experience is what makes you.
i write too long of a post.
leongs is gonna kill me.
i’ll continue this later :o)
p/s: i was too lazy to do a spell/grammar check. deal.