Japanese test today..

I stepped into the examination hall feeling confident. “Ahh, this shit is easy” I thought to myself. The exam started at 3PM (Initially I thought it was 8AM). I turned on my scanner. I mean, my chick scanner, to check whether there are any cute girls around. *TOOT* *TOOT* Surprisingly there were more than 1000 people who sat for the test. And sadly, I see no cute girls. *TOOOooooo…….*

The hall was surprisingly big too. I didn’t expect Malaysia Universities were well equipped, even the guardhouse resembled a space ship (No I’m serious!). I went in the hall late, everyone was seated. On my left, was a kid who is still in Primary school and on my right was a pink ninja, ops I mean a Malay girl with pink headscarf.

The exam was conducted through a spokesperson. He has this problem of pronouncing certain words,

“Candidates you have 5 milites…”
“Candidates, please do no soil your paper and make sure you shit (shade) your answers clearly”

Loads of Ninjas sat for the exam, ops I mean Malay university students with headscarf. This must be due to Malaysia’s look East policy.

The test was alright, but I think I screwed up my listening test. The bloody problem with it is that they only play the tape once and no repeat of the conversation is given. Furthermore, the test was stopped halfway due to a heavy rain. Apparently the ‘rain’ would affect the hearing of the candidates.

Japanese Exams

????????? ?? ???遂 ?łࠈՂ??? ???砌evel 4 ?̠?????B ?????ɂ? ?͠?????? ???ߑO ???砂ł??B ?????Ġ?P???X ?ɍs?? ???Ơ???ł??܂??񁂁B

ashitani nihongo shiken ga aru. demo yasashii kara Level 4 no shiken. ainiku ha shiken ga hachi gozen kara desu. soshite kerasu ni iku koto ga dekimasen.

Tomorrow, I’ll be sitting for Japanese-Language Profeciency test. It’s easy because it’s only Level 4 (lowest level). Unfortunately, the exam is at 8AM in the morning. I would have to skip class.

Well, if i translate it directly. It would be

ashitani nihongo shiken ga aru
Tomorrow, Japanese exams exist.

demo yasashii kara Level 4 no shiken
But easy because it’s a Level 4 exam (Japanese puts their reason first unlike English. For example, I can’t go to school because I’m busy. But in Japanese, the structure would be, I’m busy so I cant go to school.)

ainiku ha shiken ga hachi gozen kara desu. soshite kerasu ni iku koto ga de ki masen.
Unfortunately, exam 8AM from. Hence class go cannot..

Master Yoda of Starwars, I speak like.. Good luck tomorrow I need… ganbatte yo~

Malaysia is tEh best!

I have to write an essay on “Malays1a’s pos1tion in the global context”. Basically, it’s about Malays1a’s economic position in the world and what are Malays1a’s good points against other developed countries. Any suggestions? Please backup your points with references please!

My dateline is this Wednesday. 3000 words essay in a very short notice.

– I shall expand this further later.

Mr bad luck

During, Mr Lion King?s student days, he had this friend who suffers from bad luck all the time (Let?s call him Mr BL). It was 2 days before Mr BL was due to return to Malaysia and they just finished exams so they went to a pub to celebrate. After a pint of beer, Mr BL decided to drive his friend?s car for a spin. Well, just around the neighbourhood.

As he was about to reach his destination, he was stopped for a breathalyser test by a group of policemen. About 7 policemen, it was as if they caught a terrorist suspect on the streets. Then, Mr BL tried all the delaying tactics to avoid breathalyser. Unfortunately, he was forced to blow it and unfortunately for him again, he was a little bit over the alcohol limit. He was arrested and subsequently detained at a police station.

His friends tried to get him out by informing the policeman that he just graduated from University and is about to leave in 2 days. However, the policeman refused to release him. Fortunately, couple of hours later, after loads of channels and connections, he was subsequently released.

Then, there was once he was at the subway station with 2 of his friends. He was standing next to them and then came a 6 foot black guy and a 6 foot white guy. Then the black guy and white guy started giving insulting remarks to 2 of Mr BL?s friends. And in retaliation, 2 of Mr BL?s friends started insulting back. Mr BL was just minding his own business, looking at the tracks and wasn?t aware what was happening between those people. As he turned his head to look,

*KAPOW*

One of the 6 footers punched him. He suffered from a broken jaw and was admitted to hospital.

So after all those shit that happened in UK, he was back in Malaysia in no time. Then one day he had to attend a wedding dinner. He took a bus. The bus overturned.

my name is Emma bitch..

Last night, Sui Lin and I met up with Lynnzter, Frostie and Wookookoo and his friend Yani at La Bodega, Bangsar.

Yani has a friend working as a make up artist. His name was Gavin (No relation to Gavin Tan) and now his name is EMMA. He/She swore that if any of his friends call him Gavin again, he will slap them.

And one day,

“Hey Gavin!”

*smackkkkkkkk*

My name is EMMA..bitch.. (I added this line haha)

giving birth

While I was working today, my colleagues were talking about giving birth (they were all ladies). They were talking about the cost of giving birth in private hospital, which is relatively expensive. So I suggested public hospitals. It’s so much cheaper but it seems that it’s not that efficient. Giving birth in General hospital only cost RM50, but the problem is that they kick you out the day after you give birth due to lack of spaces.

One of my colleague’s ex colleagues had a bad experience in General Hospital. She was giving birth hence she was screaming in pain. Then the nurse said,

“Apa jerit-jerit?? Dulu buat apa kau main dengan husband awak?” (Stop screaming you bitch! Why the hell are you screaming? You should have thought of this before you had sex with your husband!)

The nurse kept on scolding her for screaming. Well, it’s normal in Malaysia. Civil servants are well known for their my-father-died-last-night-so-I-cant-smile-now faces. If you’re lucky, you get a smile from them. If you’re unlucky, they will curse at you, your parents, your dog, your cat, your mother’s pussy and so on.

What was your worst experience?

infidelity

» I think I am re-discovering the wonders of broadband. Ever since I installed the 1Mb Broadband, I realised i have not actually make good use of it until recently i started downloading again. I was told that the latest series of FRIENDS is really humourous.When i finally had the time to sIt back and relax a little, all ready for FRIENDS, with pop corns on my hand, cuddled up on my bed, lights off ( just kidding ;p) suddenly *SPLASH* *SPLASH* 100 best cum shots appeared on the screen. DAMN! Another idiot doing lame jobs of naming their porn as FRIENDS. So much of a humour for the night. That goes on to explain why i keep having porn pop ups everytime i go online. Believe it or not, it is terribly annoying!! I got a bad feeling that my computer is going to crash anytime soon. aRrR* Panic attacks doesn’t do any good, I still ain’t reformatting or backing-up my hard drive, and I’ll sigh with regrets when it crashes..*touch wood 🙂

Something for you guys to ponder:

Taking from Tony Parson’s novel One for my baby he sets out the the first law of fucking around.

“The unified theory of fucking around clearly states that if they do it once, they will do it again and again.”

How many of you agree to that statement? How many of you can forgive a cheating lover?

– 2.25AM


mr lion king!

After a week break, classes resume back to normal today. Well, back to the boring classes today. Today’s class was from 2PM to 7PM. It bores us to death.

However, our lecturer, Mr Lion King (not his actual name but his name can be directly translated into Lion King :D) has the ability to spice up the lecture by telling jokes during interval. So today, he told us this incident that happened couple of days ago.

A girl from Ipoh called Mr Lion King regarding A-Levels distance learning.

Girl: I would like to enrol in your college’s A-Levels distance learning program. Could you send me the notes and textbook to my place?

Lion King: Ok, but distance learning is tough. What did you get for your SPM (high school examination)?

Girl: That is not important. So when do I send in the cheque?

Lion King: Eum, do you mind telling me your SPM aggregate before we commence?

Girl: I got 39 (which is very, very high, almost at the total failure level).

Lion King: 39? Well, that would be hard for you to pass your distance-learning program.

Girl: So you think I’m STUPID?

Lion King: errr… No, I’m not calling you stupid but it would be harder for you to pass if you have this result. It’s a tough course.

Girl: You think I’m STUPID.

Lion King: errr…

Girl: I’ll send in my cheque tomorrow. You have no choice but to accept my cheque. I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!

The argument went on and eventually the girl slammed down the phone. Then the girl called back.

Girl: Hello, I called just now. I spoke to a rude man.

Unknown to her, she called Mr Lion King’s phone.