ah lian

This is mean but sorry I can’t help it..it’s farking funny!!

Got this from Umeng 😀

Source: http://www.photoforum.org/display.php?displayphoto=++&id=12193

Ah Lian – Chinese term. Could be defined as a lowly educated Chinese girl. Ivan described it as 2nd class chinese girl. Fon on the other hand gave a list of the characteristic of an Ah Lian:

very outstanding hair karler
super slut dressin
must speak half hokkien half mandarin
must smoke while talkin on hp
must be easy to get

I got this from the comments posted on the picture..

Comments from http://www.photoforum.org/display.php?displayphoto=++&id=12193

By hahaboy Posted on 2002-02-03 15:04:32
low standard ah lian

By doppelganger Posted on 2002-04-01 20:07:13
wat’s the theme of the photo la ? composition with food in fridge… and computer CPU…. pentium 4 she is not… someone put herin the fridge before she rots anymore…. evil as always.

By drachez Posted on 2002-04-15 06:01:20
this is smiling octopus…

By ChinaMan Posted on 2002-12-03 11:13:20
This iS NOT a AH-Lian.
She is a taiwanese betel nut girl.
You people….

By wAiT4U Posted on 2002-07-01 21:38:30
wat is this?? ah lian??? can u dun insult ah lian leh….where got ah lian like that want??? u shld name it as ah SHIT!!


ho hum ho hum

LOL! that was a good one, doc. didn’t notice it until after a while, haha!

and one smart method, chuoming 😉


and i’ll post my doppelganger series #3 here while i’m at it, just coz i can. WAHAHAHHAHA! (sorry ah xes. u can delete it once u see this. heh)

the doppelganger trap (#3)

yup, this is the third issue of the doppelganger series. for those that doesn’t know, you can refer to part 1 and part 2.

few weeks back, there is a group of people, within the s@lsa community who planned to have a vacation in phuket, which later changed to pangkor. this group of people are quite the elite group within the community. i was invited to the getaway, but i declined the invitation because i foresee that i will not be able to make it during weekends (weekends are a luxury, plus i might have to work way after office hours every day, and friday and saturdays are definite cases). i was asked again a few times, at which i declined every time, because i simply couldn’t make it.

and then suddenly the invitations stop coming. phew, i thought. it’s damn difficult to say no, u know, even if you have valid reasons. i just hate disappointing others. but… oh well. something i have to learn to change.

back to the topic, things were quite for a while. then one day, a wednesday, at a s@lsa outing at a club in a particular hotel, this girl came up to me and asked, “hey, u got the sms about the hotel ya.”

me : “huh? what hotel?”
she : “the pangkor trip!”
me : “huh? what pangkor trip?”
she : “didn’t u get the sms from me?”
me : “no, i didn’t get anything from u” (quite simply because i didn’t have your number and vice versa?)

she looked bewildered and then went off to look for the person who organized the trip (quite an authoritative figure) and there was a commotion amongst them for a while. i was confused but i didn’t want to pursue more coz i didn’t want to give the impression that i have changed my mind. so i let things settle at that.

the trip was just a few days after that, and they came back telling me how much fun it was and how i should’ve gone. -__-;;

anyways, 2 weeks after that trip i found out the reason for the commotion. apparently one of the girls, on hearing that i declined the invitation, decided to take matters into her own hands. she sent an sms to me, asking me to go. and the sms reply was, “ok, no prob.”

the problem was, that wasn’t me. that was the … urm.. cough-doppel-cough-ganger-cough. i didn’t even have her phone number, and yes, not even now as i’m typing this entry. not once did they realize that it wasn’t me, and all the coordinations were done thru sms. the organizer and another fren who at the beginning invited me, didn’t want to budge in, because they thought the matter was safe in her hands. they were like, “wow, we’re so close to him and couldn’t get him to go, but this girl just snap a finger and he said yes! damn geng!”

aih. sad case. too bad that wasn’t me. they didn’t realize this (for about a week or more, all the while coordinating the trip with him) until the last moment, 2 days before the trip. upon this realization, the other girls were like “URGH. THERE IS NO WAY, ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I’M GOING ON THIS TRIP WITH HIM!!! DO SOMETHING!”

so the girl who invited him had to do the difficult task of breaking the news to him. i dunno what she told him, but i think it’s somewhere along the lines of “sorry, mistaken identity”.

a bit sad for him though. not really his fault. but well, wat to do? i still don’t like him. gossips are circulating slowly but surely about his attitude, and it’s just a matter of time until somebody mistakenly thought that the the gossips were referring to me.

boo hoo


Introducing Me!

Ok, so finally after countless attempts by xes pleading for me to blog in his site, I finally agreed to help him in reaching 1mil hits a day.

So anyway, let me introduce myself. I’m chuoming, I’m gonna be 23 this July, I’m studying the Bar in London, and I can’t wait to go back home this July. I’m from Kelantan but I don’t live in trees and I go to KL either by plane or train, not on horse back or on a cow. I graduated from the same uni as xes and unfortunately he was my housemate for the 3rd year, together along with wen dee.

I like computer games, utopia, porn, anything funny espacially racist or sexist jokes no matter who it’s directed at, I cook damn good fried rice and I am only 167cm in height. I like basketball and I know nothing about football. I like all kinds of music BESIDES too heavy metal, trance, techno, ah being shit, westlife, backside boys, mariah carey (dislike ONLY the music) and many more.

Ok enough about me for now, will try to blog as often as my schedule allows me, i.e. doesn’t clash with my utopia time. Hope I do get everyone’s support cause if not I’ll go to one corner and cry. Adios for now!

Bar amber raided

After numerous phone calls, Umeng, Ivan and I headed down to Hartamas for Foosball. We dropped by Bar Amber to meet up with Lynnzter, Wookookoo and Tracy. They were having a monthly residency called ?I?m special? by Bad Boy Ben and Odin.

The place wasn?t as pack as the previous I?m Special event but there were familiar faces. Ivan was wearing shorts and slippers hence he felt pretty out of place. I on the other hand, am not a fan of funky house music. So Umeng, Ivan and I left early for foosball @ Breakers.

Lynn was urging us to get back to Bar Amber. We procrastinated a little and in the end decided to drop by Bar Amber again. As we reach the entrance, there were loads of people outside the bar. Apparently the place was raided by police. Oh my god, of all place?? Bar Amber??

The police seized Bar Amber?s decks and even the DJ?s vinyls. No doubt everybody was pissed.

I have no idea why did they raid the place. I heard that they had a permit to hold that event. Further, the event was heavily advertised in websites and newspapers. Moreover, the police is required by law to have a warrant for search and seizure of property. I wonder what offences have Bar Amber committed and why did they raid the place? I bet everybody?s initial answer starts with an M.

Well, on the bright side, no one was arrested. And thank god no one was subjected to any urine test or whatsoever. It would be darn embarrassing if everyone was ordered to squat down with their heads on their head.

if time were not assize..

After lunch with the gang @ Uncle Maverick’s place, I headed down to CLP board to hand up my bank draft. Feeling stingy, I didn’t want to park my car at privatized parking. I found a metered parking by the road side (thinking = yay dirt cheap). As I got out from the car, a young rugged Indonesian kid approached me.

“Berapa jam boss?” (How many hours boss?)

He took out a pen knife and started stabbing the parking meter’s slot. I looked at him in disbelieve. It seems that by doing that, the timer on the parking meter increases.

I got pissed. He has no right to collect money from me. But to be on the safe side (so that the fucker wont scratch my car or puncture my tires), I handed him RM1 and left. If it weren’t assize time, I would have chop off his head.

Upcoming event..

Yes, no weapons (ahbengs and osama bin laden please refrain yourself from bringing any weapons of mass destruction), no drugs (too all junkies, stay clean la) and no under 21 years old (kids please stay home and play with your transformers and barbie dolls)


Got this from klue website.. 😀

You know you are a raver when …
… the total amount of sleep you get on weekends is the sum of how many times you’ve blinked since Friday night.

… you grin like a fool whenever you see a commercial for “E News” “E TV” or “E: The Entertainment Network”

… you navigate around the city using service-stations as landmarks

… you can’t pass an empty warehouse, big open field, barn, aeroplane hanger, phone booth, etc, without getting that far-off look in your eyes and saying “Wow, what a great site for a rave!”

… you and your friends hear tumbling noises from the washing machine and all start to argue whether it’s jungle or hardcore

… you have sleeping patterns that would kill normal human beings

… almost every letter of the alphabet has a separate meaning to you

… you forget about your dream of becoming a Doctor and start to wonder what it would be like to be a cartoon character…

… you wallpaper your room with old flyers

… all your friends have names like Gee Wiz, Marko, Angel, Hyper…etc…

… you’ve got a huge pile of dead glow-sticks in your room that you can’t throw away for ‘sentimental’ reasons

… you don’t own a watch, and if you do it’s either edible or has a secret compartment

… you lose 10 kilos in one night and the last thing you think about the next morning is food

… you can live for an entire weekend out of your backpack

… you think perhaps Bill Gates was thinking of something else when he designed the Internet Explorer logo…

… you’re happy when there’s a recession because it means more empty warehouses

… you’ve got so much glowing stuff in your room that you can’t sleep because of the brightness

… you’ve been close friends with someone for weeks without actually knowing their name

… you get home and you’ve got absolutely nothing that you can talk to your parents about from your weekend

… you automatically migrate towards anything fluorescent because you think it might be someone with a glow stick

… you buy clothes based on texture

… you don’t give a flying f **k what you look like anymore and just dance, dance, dance…

… you can stand in front of a 12,000 watt speaker for an hour and be loving every minute of it

… you won’t spend money on things you need, but if someone at a party needs money, you’ll give it to them

… you can wear out a pair of shoes in only a few days

… you can not carry out normal day to day activities without having little lights to play with

… you have a one-track mind, and it goes Boom-Boom-Beep-Boom-Beep-Boom-Boom (or… oountz, oountz, doof, doof, oountz, oountz, doof, doof!)

… you carry enough flashy electronic-things in your bag to light a small city

… when you are driving your car home you feel like you’re in a Video game

… air, water, food, music, little lights… all hold equal importance to you

And lastly, ATTENTION ALL RAVERS! please read this!


Oh and read this too 😀 Zouk in Kuala Lumpur

Zouk KL seems to be the hottest topic nowadays, but I wanna give you guys a different perspective on things…

First off, I’m not a Malaysian & I’m not a Singaporean…I’m a foreigner working in Singapore at the moment. But I spent a lot of time in KL (still do), so I know both clubbing scenes pretty well.

And let me tell you something!!! Singapore clubbing is not a scratch on KL clubbing!!! Whichever magazine you read (Mixmag blah blah), Zouk Singapore always gets a high rating…but just ask yourself, who actually votes for Zouk and why? None of the UK or US people would vote for Zouk obviously coz they’ve probably never been…it’s just the Asians that vote for it…and why? Because there’s a steady flow of international DJs performing. I’ve been to Zouk ONCE..and never gone back since..it’s a pile of shite with a shite-flavoured cherry on top.

Now let me give you an example of why Zouk sucks BIG time. December 2003, world’s number 1 DJ, Tiesto, plays in Singapore for the first time ever, at Zouk. Picture yourself there, and what can you imagine? Thousands of sweaty clubbers reaching for the ceiling chanting Tiesto!?………NO!!!!!! OH NO!!!! OH NO BLOODY NO NOT AT ALL!!!…At 2am half the crowd are standing on the dancefloor sending text messages on their mobile phones!!…brilliant!!!

That just shows you what a bunch of uneducated posing assholes Singapore clubbers are. They dont go to Zouk because they like the music…they go to pose. Full stop. Zouk thinks they have created a culture…and I say…BOLLOX TO THAT!!! Created a culture???? HA! I’ve seen dance cultures before and Zouk is definately NOT one of them…try taking a look at people in the UK tatooing the Gatecrasher Lion on their own asses…now THAT’S a culture.

Oh…I nearly forgot…and what’s Zouk’s most successful night? Mambo Fucking Jambo on a Wednesday night!!!!! Sheer genius isn’t it? What a brilliant dance culture they have! Damn I’m feeling jealous already!

KL, on the other hand, ROCKS!!! The clubbing scene in KL is so exciting. It is still developing fast, and the different types of music being played are in more pure forms. (Singaporeans think that house is techno, rock is rnb and techno is “music with the same beat”)

So I wanna ask all of you…why does KL need Zouk? What makes Zouk think they are so good that they can come over to KL and improve KL clubbing with their club? Atmosphere could piss all over Zouk, along with a load of other clubs in KL…hell, even Beach Club could piss all over Zouk’s Mambo Jambo night!!!

As an outsider to both countries, I think that Malaysian clubber should be insulted that Zouk think they can improve your nightlife with their big pile of shite. It’s gonna fuck up the KL clubbing scene…spreading mambo jambo everywhere…shit man it could be a disaster for KL clubbers. It’s like Bosnia opening up an electronics factory in Tokyo…nobody would give a shit and it would fuck up!!!

Finally…Malaysian clubbing is young, vibrant and full of top-class clubs and REAL talented DJs. I’ve been to many many superclubs around Asia and Europe…KL still shines out from the rest as a scene that is full of passion and open-minded clubbers. So please don’t let arrogant people spoil it for you…YOU ROCK!!!


Birmingham car show

Hallo peoplee…today I will show you my car..very powerful one..i took these pictures while my car was on display @ a motorshow in Birmingham, England.

The guai lous looked in awe and some of them were drooling at my car..hoohohohoh

See see..got missles next to it.. if anyone pisses me off on the road ah, i’ll fire one on their backside..confirm die.com

The green car is mine, the pink one belongs to my mistress..while the grey one, that one i let my dog drive la