A friend once asked if I would ever consider having an affair with a married man. Truthfully, I said I’d rather not, but if I’m already too old to ever find someone to marry, and if it happens, maybe. He asked me why later, why not now?
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why should I?” I replied.
Surely I do still have some time and value (‘saham’) before it’s time for me to retire to the shelf as an old maid?
It is a scary thing to agree to holy matrimony and then realise later on that fidelity is something you cannot keep. You begin to wonder if s/he is the One you really want to spend your life with, the one you want to see first thing in the morning when you wake up.
My friend is married and for him to ask me this question, it frightens me. I pray he’s not found an eye candy he’d rather spend his money and time with, instead of his wife and kids.
Do you realise that the usual reasons given for having an affair are like these:
(i) I’m not happy;
(ii) S/He wasn’t the One, I felt obligated;
(iii) I deserve to be happy!
I know of someone who is in his 50’s and has a girlfriend almost half his age. His kids are half his age. I heard that all those years he considered divorcing his wife because he regretted marrying young and he thinks he won’t be able to stay with her for the rest of his life. Now that his kids are older and soon to be married off, he thinks that it is the right time to leave his wife for his own happiness.
“Before I die, I want to be truly happy.” He was quoted saying.
Back to my friend, he tells me that the hardest thing in marriage to remain faithful.
Even if it’s just a steady relationship, there are some out there who find it difficult to be faithful. What with the generation of FB’s (f*ck buddies) and the motto ‘never f*ck and tell’?
Go back to my post on ‘innOcent flirting‘ – the crush on the guy who has a girlfriend. He had the cheek to ask me if I’d consider ……………………… having fun with him behind his girlfriend’s back.
Inexperienced as I am, I never agreed to it. His philosophy is that they (he and his girlfriend) should get it out of their system before they should ever marry. They can sleep with everyone else but without the other partner finding out. “Better be restless now than when married.” he said.
What happened to true love forever and a lifetime?
Cross my fingers I don’t have to steal someone else’s husband or boyfriend in the future.
But I hear that the ratio of men to women is 1:3 or 1:4.