Author: Frank_omatic

All day long, i dream about sex

To Derek,

Thanks for all your free passes. Due to your effort and hardwork, all day long, i dream about sex. LONG LIVE, DEREK. This song is dedicated to you.

All day long, i dream about sex

by JC Chasez

So you wanna be a rockstar
Keep it going, don’t stop
Work it while you’re on top, call the cops
Rollercoaster riding, baby
Up and down
I love to watch you do it
I just want to get close to you
Find out what it takes to move you
Feel the rhythm, hit the spot, getting hot
All night long
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
Keep in mind, I’m a love machine
Get it twenty four seven, call me any time you need
Some extra attention, did I forget to mention
School’s back in session, get ready for a lesson
I just want to feel alive
And do what it takes to satisfy you
Hour after hour baby
All night long with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you
All day long I dream about sex
And all night long I think about sex
And all the time I think about sex with you, with you

Note: The copyright of this song belongs to the artist and his respectable record label. The music that you are above to download is a sample and hence it is in low quality. Please remove it after 24 hours. www.xes.cx shall not be liable to lawsuit whatsoever trouble that you may run into with the authority.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE

The day, the light fell on me…

This happened on 23-3-2005, before Malaysia was hitted by earthquake. On that night, as usual i was watching the latest drama that i downloaded. Then suddenly, i heard a lot noise coming from my toilet. To my surprise, i found…

WHAT THE FUCK!!!
My toilet light, for God know what reason, fell down!

But strangely, the light bulb did not break into pieces.

Hence, I cleaned up the mess and borrowed a ladder from my landlady.

The ladder was very shaky and too short. I had to stand on the highest step to reach the ceiling.
Well again strangely, the light bulb that fell was okay.

March was indeed, a very eventful month for me but the last thing, i would expect was to escape death narrowly. Thank God, i was not taking shower then…or else i would have been FRIED!!!!

Janet Birthday 2005

On Sunday, Xes and me headed down to Victoria Station, PJ for a small Sheffield Uni class 0f 2001 reunion because
IT’S JANET CHAI’S BIRTHDAY!!!!
I have not seen all my uni mate for ages. Ever since all of us graduated from uni, there had not been any such gathering for awhile. The last one was during michelle’s birthday last year.
The dinner was scheduled for 7:30pm but as usual everyone was late except Michelle!!!!

“hmmmm…what to eat?”
Jon: eh, Frank faster take the pic lar. It’s hard pretending to be studious.”
Cindy(left) and Jon(right) studying the menu

EAT! EAT!

Alex (far left) and Alan Teoh (far right): I am so stone
Allen Tan (middle): YEAH!!! Victoria Secret, i am loving it!
After the food, we took group photos but not everyone was in the photos. Most importantly, the birthday girl was in the photos!

The rose among the thorns
Sitting from left to right: Cynthia and Meng Choo
Standing from left to right: Frank_omatic, michelle, and Janet aka the birthday girl

standing from left to right: xes, Janet aka the birthday girl and frank_omatic
sitting from left to right: Alex, Allen Tan, and Alan Teoh
Ok, photo session over! Bring out the cake!!!

Light it up, baby!!!

We sang her the birthday song. Janet was so touched!

Janet: What should i do?

Janet: I am so happy! The cake is lovely.”
AND THEN SHE DID THIS!!!

Nah, she didn’t put her head onto the cake. She was just taking out the candle with her mouth. It’s tradition. See, she still look so clean and pretty after the dinner

Janet with Xes and Frank_omatic
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANET! WE ALL HOPE THAT YOU WILL HAVE A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS YEAR1 =P
P.S. I did not step on your face, 4 years ago. LOL =P

The Waiting game

I remember when our prime minister, Datuk Abdullah Badawi ascended the helm of the governmentship, one of his promise was to cut the red tape in the government department. 2 years has pass but little has been done. In fact from my personal experience, none has been done AT ALL.
On Thursday (7/4/2005), i was sent to a government office to enquire about a certain procedure for a matter that i am handling. I reached the office by 2:30pm and the office was still empty. That was not surpising to me at all because i understand that not all the people would return from lunch on time. Ok, fine. I sat down on the bench, reading some documents.
15 minutes later, finally, a lady walked into the office. I waited until she was comfortable sat on her chair. As i approached her, she was wiping her table. I stood before her counter, watching her.
“yes?” she asked while still wiping the table.
“Hello, good afternoon. I want to enquire about something. Is this the correct place?” I asked politely.
“Yes. What do you want to ask?”
So, i told her about my matter.
“Ah…ok.” She said. She looked a bit confuse.
“ummm..Puan, (Madam in Bahasa Melayu)what is solution?”
“ummmm, u write letter to enquire lar.”
“Puan, this matter is urgent. If you can kindly help me, i shall be grateful.”
“ummmm, u wait ar. I will ask my colleague later because i am new here.”
“What the fuck!!! You are new here and you act like you know everything!” I cursed her, silently.
“Can i please speak to an officer?” I requested
“Don’t worry, my colleague is a senior officer,” She assured me.
“Ok, No problem. I will wait. Thank you for your kind assistance,” I said with a smile.
So, i waited for another 15 minutes. Another lady entered the room. The first lady gestured me to come forward. I told the 2nd lady about my matter again.
“Ahhhhhh….this matter, very easy only. You do this this this and that that that.” the 2nd lady explained.
“Ok, i repeat. I am suppose to do this this this and that that that,” I repeated what she told me.
“Ummmm…should be like that lar,” she said
“Puan, May i please have a copy of the sample?”
“Huh? That one i don’t know. You have to talk to my supervisor. I am only the clerk here.”
“Ok, no problem. Can i please see him if he is free?”
“He ar…he is in a meeting lar.”
“Ok, i will wait. Thank you.”
So, i waited for another 30 mins and i am expected to be back in the office in another 30 mins time. I went up to the counter again. This time, the two ladies were already having their afternoon tea.
“Puan, when is Encik ABC’s meeting gonna end?”
“You wait lar, very fast only.”
“Ummm…you cannot give me the sample with your supervisor’s approval?”
” No lar, not like that. I can give you but my supervisor have to give the approval.”
“Ok, i will come back another day.”
ARGHHHH…..stupid red tape! Why can’t they just give me the sample. Afterall, it is just a few piece of papers with guideline written on it. I wasted my afternoon at that stupid office, speaking to two dumb lady.
NO WONDER OUR COUNTRY STILL REMAIN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY DESPITE OUR 2020 VISION!CUT THE RED TAPE PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE

TODAY is your lucky day

Today i went yam cha with my boss, my master and one my senior in a mamak near our office. We were happily enjoying our drinks when suddenly
“Sir, today is your lucky day!,” a salesman approached us with a big smile
Oh my God, salesman! So, all of us ignored him by looking at other directions, pretending that he was not there.
“Look sir, i have something very special for you,” he was searching his bag when he said that.
He took out a red bottle, filled with water. There was something reddish inside the water. It looked like fish to me.
“Oh my God, don’t tell me that he want to sell magic goldfish to 4 lawyers.” i thought to myself.
“Look here, sir,” the salesman said
My master looked at him and said “What is this?”
“It’s a watch, sir,” explained the salesman.
My master took up the bottle and studied it.
“A Watch?”
He put the bottle on his wrist.
“Bloody hell, how am i gonna wear this thing. It’s too big for my hand!”
All of us bursted out into laughter.
“No, no, sir. The watch is inside the bottle because i want to show you how good this watch is…..blah blah blah (all useless nonsense…can’t remember what he said already),”
He went on and on for 2 minutes
” Ok, enough lar. How much is it?” my boss suddenly broke his silence and asked.
“RM 29.90 only, sir. BUT if you buy from me today, i am going to give me another one for free,”
“Sure or not? How i know you are not saying that to con me.”
“No lar, sir. If you go KLCC, this watch is sold for RM89.90.”
“huh?”
“BUT today is your lucky day, i am going to give you an extra one for free.”
“Meaning?” My boss asked him with a poker face but the rest of us were lauging like mad now.
“It means you are lucky to meet me today lar so i am giving you 3 watches for RM29.90.”
“meaning?”
So, he went on and on about how lucky my boss is today to stumble upon a deal like this for another 2 mins.
“Wah…that guy is really thick skin. ok lar, i will take it.” my boss said
“Thank you, sir. You are lucky today lar, sir. Look, you are last customer and my best one so far. I am giving away all my watches for a special price.” the salesman said.
“Ok, ok. You can take back the empty bottle and the boxes lar. I don’t want that”
Later, when he was gone.
“Eh, Frank. Come, take one lar,” He handed me a red one
“eeeer….,”
“Don’t be shy lar. Take it. You can wear it when you go jogging. Don’t waste it lar,”
“eeeer….red ar?”
I took the watch from him.
“Well, thank you but can i change this for the black one ar?”
“hahahhahahaha…you are asking me to whack you izzit?”
P.S. Today is not my lucky day cause i think i am having fever…haih, i am sick already.

So u wanna be a La La mui

Earlier last year, xes wrote an entry about ah lian. Well, i am not too sure whether that girl can be branded as an Ah Lian or not because the term ah lian is defined very loosely. Unlike La La Mui. La La Mui can be easily spoted and identified.
Huh? What? You don’t know what is a La La Mui? Ok…for all you fashion noobs out there,
NOW, BEHOLD…LA LA MUI FROM TAIWAN









So, what do you think?
P.S. The author has totally nothing against man or woman with bad fashion sense. This article is posted without prejudice to any person be it the family and friends the girl featured in the photo or anyone related to her.

Social Blunder

During dinner time, i went to tarpau (take away) at this stall near my house. I always eat there if i have no dinner appointment so the people there know me well. There was this girl who manage the stall for her father, or at least that is whom i thought he was to her, until today…
Girl: Hello, never seen you for awhile.
Me : Ya, i never seen you here for long time also.
Girl: ya kah?
Me : Ya, only your father is here lar, usually.
Girl: Huh? My father?
Me : neh…that man who always wear the cap?
Girl: huh?
Me : …….
Girl: He is not my father lar. He is my boyfriend laaaaaaaaaar.
Me : oooooh ( i felt like laughing at that moment)
Girl: ……
Me : …… (look at her blankly and trying hard not to laugh)
Girl: Here is your change.
Me : Thank you. See you
I walked off as fast as i can to my car and quickly drove off. I laughed my head off while driving home. Anyway, the moral of the story is “Don’t laugh too hard while you are driving, it’s dangerous”.