Other than the AirAsia’s “Always Late’ motto, Sarah came up with something funnier.
Air Asia – Now everyone can vomit!
Check out her photos of her Hong Kong trip @ http://sarahian.blogspot.com/2006/06/discovery-hong-kong-14.html. Some are quite funny đ
My parents and I dont eat at home, as such we eat at restaurants everyday. Sounds quite unhealthy though. I read from somewhere that with the amount of preservative we eat everyday, our body will take a longer time to decay after our death.
So, I have been patronising this coffeeshop ever since I was a kid. It’s a typical Chinese coffeeshop with good food.
Recommended dish: Sweet & Sour Pork Rice & their steam fish.
I bet this place has been around for more than 20 years. Damn old school.
The ‘open’ kitchen concept. Good thing, as incidents like ‘spitting into your food’ or ‘peeing your drink’ wouldnt happen.
And also Ahpek like this.
And the last thing you probably expect from this place is…
Continue reading Something least expected at a Chinese Coffee Shop
now a dj in prison
Over the years, the Malaysian government has been pushing our fellow Malaysians to break into the international market to gain international recognition. Many have adhered to the government’s calls including one Pak Long who emailed me today.
Pak Long recently has ventured into E-business, setting up his traditional aphrodisiac online! And of all domain names, he chose.. stiffandhard.com ⌠WTF!!!
Some of his products were hilariously described:-
And, he has also found the secret of the ancient emperor of China!
The traditional Malay aphrodisiac business has been around for many, many years. I’ve heard many stories about how people were prescribed with certain aphrodisiacs to be able to improve their sexual performance. For example, Tongkat Ali. However, some of these aphrodisiacs have been abused by many especially the Spanish Fly (Note this is not a Malay traditional aphrodisiac). The stories about the abuse of Spanish Fly are horrendous. Girls beware, try not to accept drinks from strangers. Even the guy who makes drinks for you at the mamak cannot be completely trusted.
When I was younger (around 15 years old), Umeng and I befriended R, a guy who worked in a mamak stall. His job was to make drinks for customers. He was a friendly man of 30s. Every time we visited to his stall, he would sit with us to chat and he would sometimes tell us stories of his sexcapades. Many of them being his customers.
Being a young boy of 15 years old, I was fascinated on how this man who worked in a mamak stall got to sleep around with so many of his customers of all ages. From school girls to working class women. Every time his customers came to his store to have a drink, they would end up at his apartment or her apartment to have sex.
He was so good at his stories until one day Umeng and I bought him condoms for his birthday. Umeng and I were almost idolizing him!
Of course, I was very curious with what kind of tactic he used to get all these girls. I thought he had a honey laced mouth and girls would be easily persuaded by his sweet words.
Like any students who wanted to learn from a master, I asked him many, many questions and until one day, he confessed to me that he used a certain liquid to attract those girls. All he did was dropped a few drops in their drinks and thereafter itâs âmy place or your place, bang bang bang, byebyeâ.
Being a young boy of 15 years old, I had no idea what he was talking about and as time went by, Umeng and I stopped hanging out at his mamak and thereafter lost contact with R. Then years later, I realised that the certain liquid could be the Spanish Fly (or something equivalent), an aphrodisiac that would arouse women. I then realised that R has been spiking his female customers’ drinks with aphrodisiac so that he could have sex with them.
How disgusting. How how disgusting. It was too late when I realised the truth. R was nowhere to be found and I donât know any of his victims.
If my presumption is right, the only place to seek retribution now is Hell. May you burn in hell R. The dungeon of infinite castration awaits you.
In the light of Xes’s problems with gays….MAYBE this COULD be the source of his problem ?? ;P 
p.s. No offence to fans of beer who are still straight! đ
So I was saying that Iâve been getting calls from gay men. I donât know who posted my number on gay friendship websites and I donât know what the f00t is wrong with that person who posted my number there. It could be due to the following reasons:-
(a) Heâs gay too and/or he hates me for making fun of gays sometimes.
(b) Its a prank
(c) Itâs a malicious attempt to defame me and to injure my reputation
In regards to (c), I find the said act amounts to a criminal defamation. Section 499 of the Malaysian Penal Code provides that:-
In simple words, anyone who published something that will harm the reputation of a person has committed criminal defamation. Once convicted, the person shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which may extend to two years or with a fine or both. I have seen those poor prisoners in court. Smelly, unshaved, humiliated and bullied. Iâve met one girl who was arrested just right after she came out from the shower. Man, I tell you, she stinks when I saw her in Court.
Unfortunately, I did not try to trace the person who posted my number. Those bloody gay men who called me are not very helpful at all. Whenever I asked them where did they get my number, they would answer, âEummâŚI forgotâŚâ.
Making a police report to trace the culprit is not helpful without any leads. To everyone out there, make sure you have enough evidence or information for the police to conduct an investigation before making a report otherwise the police wouldnât help much. But some of the people who called me were nice enough to give me some leads. Watch this space!
Anyway, those calls from gay men gave me a bad impression on gay men. They gave me the impression that many gay men are so bloody desperate to poke bum holes that they call up strangers to meet up. Or probably they find it exciting to poke strangers.
Also, many donât have to courtesy to say hello. For example, some would start with âHow are youuuuuu??â.
Another guy said, âlei chou kan meh yehhh (What are you doing in Chinese).
NGO TIU KAN HAI AH!! MOU FAN NGO AH!! (translation: sorry Iâm busy, please do not disturb me)
Then yesterday..
Me: Where did you get my number from?
GayGuy: Umm..from a gay website..
Me: What GAY WEBSITE?
GayGuy: I am 65 KGSâŚ20 years old..
Me: I SAID WHAT GAY WEBSITE!!
GayGuy: OhâŚI donât remember⌠Ahh. I cant remember.
Me: BOLLOCKS LA!!! I DONâT BELIEVE YOU CANT REMEMBER!
GayGuy: *t00t* *t00t* *t00t* (hangs up phone)
[EDIT[ CALLS FROM GAY MEN HAVE STOPPED UPON POSTING OF THIS ENTRY đ
Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: ” Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”
This was a joke written by Spike Milligan and was apparently voted as the funniest Joke in the World. What do you think?
When the world cup starts, the world stops – took this picture while having dinner at a shopping centre. These people were standing by the side of a sidewalk watching the game.
Others..
Not sure if any of you have heard of this joke but here’s one!
Two strangers are stitting in adjacent seats in the airplane.
One guy says to the other, “Let’s talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, “What would you like to discuss?”
The first guy says,”Oh, I don’t know; how about nuclear power?”
The other guy says, ” OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first: –
A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?”
The first guy says, ” I don’t know.”
The other guy says, “Oh? Well then, do you really think you’re qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don’t know shit?”
We apologize for the downtime. My 100 gig/month bandwidth was depleted before I could upgrade it. I will upgrade it to 200 gig/month bandwidth soon.
Please inform your friends that www.xes.cx is back online.
And a reminder to all, this weekend!!!
Featuring: BK, K90, KAI TRACID, THE THRILLSEEKERS, BASS AGENTS.
Location : A’Famosa Resort Malacca
Date : 3rd June 06
Time : 7pm – 3am
Price : RM60
On another note,
Female Shufflers wanted to perform in Miri, Sarawak.
Anyone female shufflers interested ? Accomodation & flight provided. Allowance included as well. Around 22 – 24 July 2006. Its some sort of exhibition in a club in Miri. Few months back, some of the members of the www.xes.cx forum were involved in another exhibition in Miri. It was great fun! I would definitely recommend every girls to participate. Unfortunately, guys not included đ
Email me or leave a note here!
Best Regards
www.xes.cx